Mother charged with neglect

[Knackeredboot]

This article has been posted on Facebook and has attracted a lot of angry comments about it from people saying the mother should be steriliser and that she's evil.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c864g0evz9jo

The crime was neglect of a baby that resulted in its death from a mother that had failed to notice that her baby hadn't woken in the night for her usual feeds due to the mothers level of intoxication.

There's no indication that the baby would usually have to be woken for feeds, just that it was the babys usual routine.

The mother was awake but drunk. But had she been asleep then would that have been considered neglect too? She checked on the baby from a distance but did not try to stir. Again, I wouldn't go into my 5mo's room regularly in the night for a close up check on them as I would be asleep also.

It says that the level of intoxication was 2.5times the driving limit which is irrelevant as she wasnt driving.

Am i missing something here? I feel like the commenters are being incredibly hard on her based on the little detail in the article. Although I'm not a big drinker I know loads of couples that get smashed on the weekend while at home with the kids.

Because nobody would have known about it but sadly the baby died
But it would have been neglect either way.

I try not to judge too harshly generally really .However in this case its out and out neglect! She was plastered and not able to care for her child.If she had been sleeping, she would presumably have been able to check on her child more often ( At bedtimes and if she woke up in the night). In a similar incident a little girl fell from her balcony in a council flat,Her Mother was stoned .She hasnt been charged as far as I can tell.So not really a class issue as such

Probably not. Same as if MMccan's parents had been scruffs who left their kids in an apartment alone to go to the bar their other children would have been removed.

I don't know how you can leave a baby of any age alone to be quite honest. I'd be worried the entire time. Didn't leave mine until they were at least 2. Not once.

But that mum is being treated unfairly. What she did in terms of leaving the baby was normal so this is all just unconscious bias.

It's normal to leave a five month old baby asleep on the sofa all night whilst your in the next room drinking and only check on them briefly from the doorway?

I wish people trying to excuse this would read the linked report from the police.

The baby had been left so long, that by the time the paramedics arrived, rigor mortis had set in. That take several hours to happen.

This is not an example of "Oh, it could happen to anyone". This is serious neglect and shouldn't be minimised.

No but it is normal to leave a baby from 1 month alone all night long without even checking on them regardless of whether you are drinking or not.

I find it bizarre and unconscionable. But it is normal.

Sorry, sofa? No that's unsafe sleep and was that the issue that was raised?

Because we are strongly advised against that. Own crib, on back, no obstacles, that's safe sleep and the only thing that is acceptable to HVs.

How many four week old babies sleep through the night?

Honestly I think drinking at all while in sole care of a baby is irresponsible in the extreme. In this case, the mother sounds horrendously neglectful.

I don't agree she's a monster but she's a neglectful parent and she had the bad luck of her baby not surviving her neglect. The baby died while left on a sofa and ignored for 14 hours. The poor mite probably suffocated, as leaving a baby sleeping on a sofa unattended is highly likely to lead to suffocation. The criminal charges were appropriate. I don't agree that neglecting babies is normalised either. It happens of course but it's still considered neglectful.

I have no opinion either way on this incident, just want to point out that in babies rigor mortis is different and often the onset and resolution is more rapid than in adults.

I agree that it is neglectful and I suspect not an isolated incident but a pattern of behaviour and representative of a general neglectful parenting approach. It may be ’normal’ for some people, but that doesn’t mean it’s a correct thing to do and shouldn’t be prosecuted, especially when it leads to the death of a child. Let’s not normalise neglectful behaviour. I don’t know anyone in my circle of friends who would leave a 5mo old baby on a sofa all night without checking and drink to excess in another room.

In whose world is it normal?
For a start most babies at 1 months wake a few times for a feed.

It’s not normal. Not at 1 month.

I don’t think that’s normal. Apart from anything else, at that age the vast majority of babies need feeding in the night.

14 hours? I woke this morning and my youngest hadn’t climbed into bed, I went to check on him, it was 5.30am! He went to bed at 7.30. He’s 4.

Ugh, sounds like that poor baby had so many risk factors for SIDS (if indeed that’s what happened, not suffocation) - mother smoking, baby formula fed I assume, and sleeping alone on a sofa, for a start.

I can’t understand leaving such a small baby alone for so long, let alone leaving them on a sofa to get hammered and smoke fags. Very depressing and sad.

ETA: my DC is 11mo and wakes up multiple times a night to breastfeed - totally normal (and doesn’t bother me as we bedshare in line with safe sleep guidelines). Just to add my two cents, as I can see PPs suggesting it’s normal for a small baby not to feed all night - baby rousing often at night is thought to be protective against SIDS! I’d have been so worried if DC didn’t stir fairly often at night - and my boobs would’ve suffered 😂

*into my bed that is, he usually comes into
me in the night.

CPS says she "failed to notice the deterioration" of her child over several hours.

To me, that indicates the baby gave visible signs of distress (choking, entanglement, wedged between cushions, fell from sofa etc) and encountered a preventable death rather than simply a random and tragic incident of SIDS.

Neglect isn’t ok because nobody knows about it

And what about the 6 year old who was put to bed at 630? Most wake at 7am so they were unsupervised and probably hungry for hours.

It also notes she left the house to smoke which seems like an odd thing to flag unless they were with an actively unsafe adult i.e. drunk or convicted.

I don't know why SIDS is even being talked about.

By its nature, SIDS is SUDDEN Infant Death Syndrome.

The mother "failed to recognise the deterioration in health" over a period of hours.

As a side point, she wouldn't have been fot to care for the older child either.

My DS's father is absent. I still don't get rat arsed when I'm looking after him! I wasn't (like someone upthread said) with DS 24/7 for the first six months of his life. Even my health visitor advised me to leave him for five minutes if I needed to. Once he started sleeping through the night at two months old I'd put him to bed and then potter round for a couple of hours before going to bed, and even before that if I needed the loo or a shower or to get a drink, or do the washing (we lived in a bedsit before moving when he was nearly two months old, and the washing machine was outside my door in the cupboard under the stairs.) Even after we moved I'd leave him in the living room to do various bits of housework. I also co slept so I could get some sleep! Had to weigh up the risks to his health and mine. My having a shower everyday was none negotiable, especially as I had a c section and didn't want that to get infected. It still is because I hate feeling dirty or sweaty.

Yes we have no idea if the baby was showing signs of distress or not.

Not in the UK. My niece is 19 year old and rooming in was advice when she was a baby. I have no idea when it was first advised by the NHS but it’s been around a long time.