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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mother charged with neglect

277 replies

Knackeredboot · 18/09/2025 20:24

This article has been posted on Facebook and has attracted a lot of angry comments about it from people saying the mother should be steriliser and that she's evil.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c864g0evz9jo

The crime was neglect of a baby that resulted in its death from a mother that had failed to notice that her baby hadn't woken in the night for her usual feeds due to the mothers level of intoxication.

There's no indication that the baby would usually have to be woken for feeds, just that it was the babys usual routine.

The mother was awake but drunk. But had she been asleep then would that have been considered neglect too? She checked on the baby from a distance but did not try to stir. Again, I wouldn't go into my 5mo's room regularly in the night for a close up check on them as I would be asleep also.

It says that the level of intoxication was 2.5times the driving limit which is irrelevant as she wasnt driving.

Am i missing something here? I feel like the commenters are being incredibly hard on her based on the little detail in the article. Although I'm not a big drinker I know loads of couples that get smashed on the weekend while at home with the kids.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 18/09/2025 20:27

Gosh how sad for the baby and their older sibling 🥺

I was terrified of sids when I had dd. I still am tbh and she is 6.

If this was a married middle class mum who had too much wine, would this be in the news?

Dunno, people love to be nasty on Facebook so I can imagine the comments. Edit - not saying she isn't completely wrong BTW, just thinking of the backlash and the prison sentence

Teachingagain · 18/09/2025 20:29

5 month old shouldn’t be sleeping on a sofa or in a room by themsleves for that matter.

The article says she feed the baby at 6.30 in the evening and failed to notice he hadn’t woken for his morning feed. Sounds like she hadn’t checked on the baby for at least 12 hours or possibly much longer.

LIZS · 18/09/2025 20:31

Suspect there was more to it than reported. The baby was left on a sofa rather than put to bed, for example, even before the drinking session.

Birch101 · 18/09/2025 20:31

The guidance is that baby should be sleeping in the same room as someone for the 1st 6months so yes neglect

Teachingagain · 18/09/2025 20:32

More detail from the CPS

https://www.cps.gov.uk/west-midlands/news/mother-convicted-child-cruelty-after-getting-drunk-vodka

Baby was fed at 6.30 in the evening and not checked on again until 9 in the morning.

Lmnop22 · 18/09/2025 20:32

I read that she left this 5 month old baby “on a sofa” whilst she drank vodka to the point of intoxication in the next room.

Firstly, you’re meant to have your baby with you at all times for the first 6 months. Secondly you’re able to notice subtle signs of distress from close quarters if you’re both sober and sleeping in the same room as your baby not drunkenly looking from a distant doorway. Thirdly, you should never be so intoxicated that you cannot care for your baby when you’re their primary caregiver. Fourthly, you cannot put a baby to sleep on a sofa ever as this is a huge suffocation risk.

Honestly if that’s not neglect, god knows what is! Saying “if the mother had been asleep” is to just change the narrative entirely and then judge the situation by that alternative narrative. Those aren’t the facts - the fact is she was awake and, had she been sober, she would’ve noticed her baby was in distress and the baby may not have died!

Teachingagain · 18/09/2025 20:34

Accidental double post.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 18/09/2025 20:35

Two and a half times the drink-driving limit isn't irrelevant. It shows that she was absolutely smashed, not just a little tipsy.

ShesTheAlbatross · 18/09/2025 20:36

This isn’t a baby who didn’t wake in the night and the mum didn’t notice. This is a baby not checked on beyond a glance from the doorway for 14.5 hrs.

rosanna19 · 18/09/2025 20:37

there must be more to it because why would they have tested her blood alcohol … they must have done this after the baby was found so 2.5x the limit must have been the next morning at the earliest.. I think the vagueness of this article is really scary for those that already have anxiety over SIDS

Bournetilly · 18/09/2025 20:37

Babies should never sleep on the sofa, leaving a baby to sleep on the sofa all night and not checking on them when they didn’t wake as usual (whilst being awake anyway) is neglect.

If she hadn’t been drinking the baby would most likely of been asleep in a bed.

bonnieyellow · 18/09/2025 20:39

Did the baby die from suffocation/sleep related issues from being placed on the sofa? Or was it natural causes? If she left a baby that small on a sofa for that long without proper checks then yes she is guilty of neglect. It wouldn’t have happened if safe sleeping guidelines had been adhered to.

decenteringmen · 18/09/2025 20:40

Too bloody right she should be charged with neglect.

namechangetheworld · 18/09/2025 20:44

This selfish twat put a 5 month old to sleep on a sofa while she got rat arsed with her mate in the next room, and didn't bother to check on her for 14 hours. I hope they throw the book at her.

Cruc · 18/09/2025 20:45

Thanks to the posters who have provided additional info I now think that yes it was neglect. A sofa seems not a good place to leave a baby overnight when you’re in another room :/

Knackeredboot · 18/09/2025 20:49

Tbh I don't disagree with neglect. I think just in my world a lot of these things are commonly done by people so they can still have a good time.

Oh put baby on the sofa then we'll be able to hear better...
Oh a few drinks won't hurt...
Never wake a sleeping baby!

Like I said I'm not really a drinker and I was absolutely paranoid about SIDS and I actually did stare at my baby a lot while they slept! But I knew I was anxious and paranoid and I wasn't judgemental to those who were more relaxed. I think calling her a monster who should be sterilised is harsh on a person I can only assume has had her life destroyed. Yes she absolutely did multiple things that were wrong but they are behaviours that become normalised.

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 18/09/2025 20:51

It should never be normalised to binge drink with your 5 MONTH OLD baby asleep on a sofa in a different room!

When you make the decision to have kids, you have to put them ahead of “still having a good time” at least when they’re tiny! Just get the other parent, a babysitter or a family member to watch them and go get drunk elsewhere for your good time, it’s not so hard!

mumofoneAloneandwell · 18/09/2025 20:52

mumofoneAloneandwell · 18/09/2025 20:27

Gosh how sad for the baby and their older sibling 🥺

I was terrified of sids when I had dd. I still am tbh and she is 6.

If this was a married middle class mum who had too much wine, would this be in the news?

Dunno, people love to be nasty on Facebook so I can imagine the comments. Edit - not saying she isn't completely wrong BTW, just thinking of the backlash and the prison sentence

Edited

After reading the thread, i have changed my mind. Doesn't matter who the mother was, this is a clear case of neglect. May the baby rest in peace x

Hibernatingtilspring · 18/09/2025 20:54

I don't believe it's right to call her a monster - I can't imagine she ever thought her baby was really at risk of dying. However re your earlier point I have known of a middle class professional who was charged with child neglect after falling asleep with her baby on the sofa after drinking red wine to the point of being very intoxicated. It was understood the baby suffocated. Really sad and totally avoidable.

ShesTheAlbatross · 18/09/2025 20:54

I really disagree that these are normalised things. She was 2.5 times over the limit by the time she was tested - so after ambulance has been called, paramedics have arrived, police have been called. That’s so high. She must have been barely coherent - was it even her who called the ambulance?

tripleginandtonic · 18/09/2025 20:58

Teachingagain · 18/09/2025 20:29

5 month old shouldn’t be sleeping on a sofa or in a room by themsleves for that matter.

The article says she feed the baby at 6.30 in the evening and failed to notice he hadn’t woken for his morning feed. Sounds like she hadn’t checked on the baby for at least 12 hours or possibly much longer.

That seems to be the case so its neglect. Sounds like a lot of vodka was consumed.

BadgernTheGarden · 18/09/2025 21:00

It was very stupid and I imagine she will blame herself for the rest of her life (rightly).

NImumconfused · 18/09/2025 21:03

ShesTheAlbatross · 18/09/2025 20:54

I really disagree that these are normalised things. She was 2.5 times over the limit by the time she was tested - so after ambulance has been called, paramedics have arrived, police have been called. That’s so high. She must have been barely coherent - was it even her who called the ambulance?

To have been 2.5 times the drink drive limit by the middle of the following morning, she must have been paralytic.

TheFairyCaravan · 18/09/2025 21:05

That poor baby.

She must have been drunk out of her head all night long. If her older children had woken, she wouldn’t have been able to tend to them either. This is neglect, pure and simple.

Funnywonder · 18/09/2025 21:08

I think it certainly is neglect and don’t understand the OP’s position on this at all. It sounds like the mum was absolutely plastered. Fair enough, have a drink or two, but not to the point where your judgement is so impaired, you basically leave a 5 month old tiny, vulnerable baby unsupervised for hours on end. Obviously she could never have known that her child was going to die, but isn’t that why you check on them? To make sure they aren’t ill or about to die?

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