To want to know what good you do?

[fightbackorriseabove]

Life has been tough recently, and I find myself watching YouTube vids, podcasts, the news, and getting more and more down.

I feel as if we're losing ourselves as a race. Genocides, wars, the far-right, climate change, racism, misogyny, cost of living... it goes on and on.

I'd rather not discuss politics. I seem to have got myself in a permanent loop of rage-watching...

I need a break.

I want to find a bit of joy. There must be more kindness out there that we can use to counter all the shit.

So... what good do you do? What acts of kindness are out there? Even if it's not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, what's happy - or neutral - in your life? What's made you laugh? Give me some positive stories! What are you pleased about? What are you looking forward to? hat have you achieved - big or small?

• I help cats. I help rehabilitate stray cats and find them new homes.

• I listen to my friends. I think/hope I'm a good friend.

• I take care of my daughter well and have at least one great big belly laugh a day with her. She is a joy. And very kind. Today, she told me she'd read "thousands of pages" at school, so I could "just forget" the library book. She also saw me having a lemsip-type thing and told me not to do drugs. And every day, she thinks it's a miracle that I can "feel" in her belly what she had for lunch at school. She doesn't seem to have worked out that I read it on the notice board next to the school gate.

• I have a very loving sister. We try to look out for each other.

• I have piles of unread books. I like to pretend I'm a big reader, but in reality, I WAS a big reader. But it's nice to have the pile.

Over to you.

I love this.

I have a few. I'm a member of a brilliant PTA who have nowhere near enough volunteers to do what we do. There are four of us killing ourselves but I love them all and we give the kids things they don't get anywhere else. They are wonderful children.

I was given a scholarship to a paid course due to financial hardship a couple of years ago when I couldn't afford it. I set up a direct debit as soon as I earned some money and have probably funded five scholarships for others by now.

I give to charity every month.

I run a business with DP where we work in people's homes, we often put the kettle on for elderly customers or stay to chat much longer than we need, we take money off the bill if the job is easier than we expected even though we have set prices. We are as kind as we can be to our customers, not because we've been trained to but because we want to be. It's a pleasure to spend time with those people.

I throw the kitchen sink behind the hobbies that make our kids happy, I am not pushy but I back them 100% in their own choices and my word they are thriving gorgeous humans.

I love to give people a bit of a boost. Dish out compliments, tell them what a great job they are doing and let them know that their kids/dogs are brilliant.

Life is hard enough, and the little things make such a difference.

I absolutely love this thread, OP!

I try my best to be as kind as possible. We have 4 monthly DD to charity, only about £5 each but every little helps.
I work with young people from areas of deprivation and try to show them as much kindness and encouragement as I can. I am often buying things that I think they’d like for the workspace or for activities as the budget is not massive.
In addition to this I do one shift per week with young adults with additional needs. I love it! Started as a volunteer but was asked to become a trained member of staff. I’ve learnt so much and gained invaluable knowledge since supporting the inspiring young people we work with.
Every Christmas we gift our posties and delivery drivers with chocolates to show our appreciation.
We support local causes wherever we can and always donate toys to the local Christmas present appeal.
We tip, leave positive feedback on experiences and try to say hello to people we pass on the street! I’ve suffered with mental health issues in the past and understand the value of kindness so now I always try to be the best person I can be though sometimes I’m sure I can let my standards slip.

I’ll be up to 40 next time. 10 behind you! I’m there for the biscuits though 😉

I’m a Samaritans listening volunteer like others on the thread. It can be heartbreaking, but it’s also a genuine joy to be part of a group of people who want to help others. An antidote to the news and a regular reminder that there is so much good in so many people. And often by the end of a call, you can tell people are feeling just that bit better than when we started speaking, or if they aren’t, at least for that bit of time they have had someone to sit alongside them in their pain; that means a great deal to me. Other than that, I try to be the best mum, daughter, friend and partner I can be, and have dedicated myself to serving my three cats, who have appalling high standards!

Don’t feel bad about taking a break from the news and the doomscrolling from time to time. It’s important to be informed and engaged, but it’s also overwhelming - the scope and the intrusiveness of the media and social media these days is just too much. Sites like Positive News, or The Good News Network, can help to balance the feeling that everything is awful and we are doomed as a species.

I pick up litter in my local park whilt walking my dog. My house is a tip but I feel that I'm doing some small good

I pay for people behind me at the Starbucks drive through
all my cats have been from rescue
i successfully resuscitated (with a defib) a man that collapsed in front of me in the shopping centre
I leave sweets at the till for ambulance/police if they’re at the petrol station

this year I paid for a cat to be PTS as the owner couldn’t afford it and I feel nobody should pay to feel like they are killing their pet or having to keep them alive in pain, someone did it for me so I passed it on

also smashed out the remnants of a window of a crashed upturned car so I could climb in and stay with the elderly man who was badly hurt

My neighbour's son failed his mocks. Years ago I used to be a tutor so I offered to tutor him for free. He passed with good grades. I was happy, he was happy, so were his parents.

An acquaintance I don't know well and hadn't seen in years suddenly asked for my address and hand-delivered some home made raspberry jam as a surprise. I gave her some cooking apples and we ended up going for a long walk together and catching up.

And sometimes you get a lovely thank you!

Lovely idea, OP! I (and DH, to be fair)…

• Make an annual donation to a local women’s refuge charity and have done for several years
• Pay forwards the clothes SIL passes on from DNephew; those clothes plus any additions go on to 3 more families - makes me feel like we’re doing something to reduce the environmental impact of clothes production
• Wrap and distribute Christmas gifts to local elderly people who otherwise wouldn’t get presents via a local charity network (DH’s least favourite as he’s a hopeless wrapper and can’t deal with awkward bottles of bubble bath etc 🤣)
• Make ad hoc donations to charity and the local food bank - this year I’m going to attempt a reverse advent calendar with DS, putting something in every day and donating after Christmas when donations have slowed a bit
• Volunteer for a charity and as a disability-related peer supporter at work
• Currently helping out my parents’ local church with something I happen to have specialist knowledge of (my Dad volunteered me 🤣)

Plus I’ve ordered some fun craft kits as a surprise for when my friends come over for dinner soon; they’ve all had a lot on recently and this will hopefully be something a bit different to do whilst we drink wine / tea and catch up, plus they’re festive so something to add to their Christmas decor! 🎅🏻 (either that or they’ll turn out to be fiendishly difficult and we’ll have a laugh whilst they curse me for my daft ideas!).

Thanks OP, this thread is made me feel really cheery!

Thanks for a really lovely thread. I'm going to be really mindful about how I go about my day tomorrow and try to incorporate some of these ideas into it 😊

There’s the usual stuff / standing orders to charity, donating to charity shops etc but I think almost everyone does that?

I work in an paeds. I’m not going to count my job because although it does help people I am paid to do it, but on days when I get a lunchbreak I try and do story time on the ward once a week. The entire oeuvre of Julia Donaldson has been committed to memory by now!

There is a mystery biscuit fairy who always makes sure that there are chocolate biscuits in the nurses’ staff room. It’s me. (In fairness, the matron does know it’s me because I’m not a staff nurse so I had to persuade him to give me the door code!)

If a stranger has nice glasses, or a fabulous hairdo or a lovely jumper on I always make sure I tell them.

I do not stand by. If someone is being rude to staff in a cafe or a shop, or harassing someone at the bus stop or whatever, I will call it out.

Oh - an easy one that we like to do is pay for the order of the car behind in the McDonald’s drive through sometimes.

I try to help people out where I can, especially kids and elderly people. I've paid for people's shopping before and helped people carry things etc. I litter pick and always check parks for broken glass and pick it up so no kids or animals cut their feet. I help animals and insects if they're in a pickle and have returned cats to their owners and left bowls of water out for various animals if it's hot. I sometimes water my elderly allotment neighbour's plot because he has health issues and sometimes struggles.

The usual stuff really. I try to be nice to people and listen when people talk to me. I'm a magnet for randomers coming up to chat and if I'm not in a hurry I'll chat to especially elderly people as they might not get to have a chinwag with people that often. And I help out other school mums by taking their kids in if they need to dash off to work, and when a new parent joins the school gates I say hello and add them to the class WhatsApp group and introduce them to the other mums so they're not alone.

Try not to be a prick basically. It's a bit funny because I don't even like people that much but a little good never hurt anyone.

• We foster cats
• I volunteer at a food pantry several times a month
• I volunteer at the Salvation Army signing people up for Christmas assistance and distributing gifts.
• We make "blessings bags" to hand out to homeless people (we've given them out in four states and two countries)

I volunteer for a crisis support phone line.
I work in schools and support young people with SEN.
I buy coffee vouchers for colleagues who are having a tough time and leave them on their desks as a little surprise.
I support a charity which provides period products to women and girls in shelters.

I donated a kidney to a stranger so that a friend would receive a living donor kidney from another stranger.

I provide food and water for the animals that come to my garden, from bees, butterflies to birds and hedgehogs. It’s a kind of sanctuary for them.

I'm live in carer to elderly parent although I'm having a respite break atm. Stay away from social media and the news, it really helps. I have a quick scan of headlines on a news site every now and then, but honestly, not knowing what's going on, makes no difference to day to day life.

The more you doom scroll, the more the algorithms will feed you. Step away from it. My feed is now full of happy donkeys and baby goats! It's a better place to be.

I'm financially supporting someone i love who would otherwise drown in debt and become homeless to keep a roof over their head and hot food in their stomach.

I'm on the anthony nolan bone marrow donor list (though my age gender and race mean i'll likely never be needed) and i intend to donate absolutely everything possible when i pass to give the gift of life to as many people as possible, as well as none life saving but massive quality of life improving donations like corneas that many donors ask to be excluded.

Yes, I think I've messed up my algorithms big time.

But this thread is amazing! A real tonic!

Thank you, all!

Did it for 30 years then abruptly told my blood was no longer wanted because the drugs I’d taken during my IVF treatment made me a mad cow risk. Received no thanks or acknowledgement of the 30 years I’d already been donating.

I act in loco parentis for four adult kids who have high support needs and no parents who are around to support them into adulthood. I have known all of them since childhood and have quite unusual connections with them all.

Im the ‘go to’ person for support, in our friendship group. I go ‘the extra mile’ for staff and students at work, in my job in mental health.

I support lots of charities for humans and animals.

I’ve done a lot of volunteering and ‘at cost’ work in the past.

Many humans are still being quietly decent.
I reckon what I manage to not do despite huge constant provocation, has to count somewhere. 😊
I do all sorts of things here and there to try and make the world around me a better place but bad at talking about most of them, but AlmostAJillSandwich's post has prompted me to say I'm often out at nights (supposed to only be weekends but growing needs means often in the week too now) with pop up street kitchens, supplying food, company and what help can be given to folks who're not so lucky and have ended up living or surviving on the streets.

Every single bit of food and physical resources we use, come from acts of decency from many others.

There are also people out there in desperate straits with so very little, who would be reasonable to focus only on themselves, instead sharing what they do have, or making extra journey's on nothing, to find someone to care that someone else has given up, stopped eating entirely, and needs intervention to survive.
Inherent decency runs deep and can be catching from any direction.

Also help to organize the storage and access of homeless peoples remaining possessions they're trying to hold onto, from change of clothing to treasures like photo albums, to urns. I'm currently breaking my own rules and actually have an urn in my home. It was on a property storage shelf with battered suitcases and bags, which was causing it's older owner nightmares and distress.
They're doing way better with "their 'Lesley' " being "in a proper place, warm and dusted" not in a tent, or "a cold shelf" somewhere, and if anything happens in the meantime, whatever else, a hand on heart promise they'll be reunited.
It's taken one pressure of.

I came in at 5.20am and recently finished 'being there' on the phone as best I can for someone who has managed to survive all the stages from giving up and being entirely lost to drugs alcohol and psychosis cycle, and having to be spoon fed in a tent to try and keep them alive when they'd gone beyond rock bottom and nhs and police refused help, because they weren't asking any more... to making it all the way up to no longer using, and getting a trial housing tenancy.

They're struggling with what should be their hard won victory and 'happy ending' because they've been through a lot and their mental (and parts of physical) health has taken a battering and is painfully fragile. I can't do that much, but not being alone with it all matters, and step by step...

I care for my disabled father and my job supports disabled people. I feed birds in the garden and in the woods. I listen to people including strangers when they tell me stories. I love talking and listening to my children. I've persevered with an angry biting dog, it's taken 6 years for him to become happier/mellowed (yes his bites break the skin and he's been to the vets fot tests and scans and 2 trainers). Only had one bite this year! That was because we had suitcases out for holiday and he knew that meant the kennels! I always donate clothes and shoes to charity.

Sorry if it was abruptly done, and made you feel unwanted at all. But you don't need the thanks or acknowledgement of the organizers, and lots of donors don't like anything being made of what they do, or if they can't or don't want, to do it anymore, which is quite probably why they don't.

But trust me, over 30 years, an awful lot of recipients and their family's have been heartfelt thanking you and will still be thanking you again and again, every birthday and anniversary especially, without ever knowing your name. It's out there in the ether.