Would this be a mistake?

[Glow23]

I am currently on maternity leave and have a 11 month and a 4 week old. I am due to return to work in April. A job opportunity has arisen with a pay rise but same hours/days WIBU to cut my maternity leave short to take this job? I was thinking to return in January rather than April as planned. Will I regret this time with the babies?

If it’s a good opportunity I’d take it without a second thought. I went back early from mat leave and have never regretted it.

So your baby would be 5 months old? Personally I wouldn’t do that, for me it would have been far too much to manage but you know your capabilities

Such a difficult one as everyone will see this differently. But other promotions will come up, but you will never get that time back with your babies.

At the same company or a different company?

Same hours/more money? Take the job

I went back at 3 months. It was the right thing to do for me. I also think I didn’t really lose my mojo when off because I wasn’t gone for long. So find going back very easy. I don’t regret it at all.

Same company

Is it a full time role?
Who will look after the children? Can you get a nanny?
I would not put a very young baby in a nursery.

Nobody can really answer this for you unfortunately. In my opinion I would take as much time as I possibly could. You really will never get this time back and you have years and years of work ahead!!

There’s no right or wrong answer - just what’s right for you. What do you want from parenthood and your career? You can’t have it all, so will need to compromise somewhere along the way.

I think the people trotting out the ‘you’ll never get this time back’ are missing the point. You never get any time back. The OP won’t get this specific opportunity at this specific time again.

I would have a call with the hiring manager. They may be willing to be flexible on the start date.

I went back at 6 weeks as the money I earn being in work is needed to run our family. Whilst 5 months is still quite early, would this promotion greatly improve your lives? If so, I’d go for it. If not, I probably wouldn’t but would see if there’s a possibility you could push your start date back even if by another month.

Three questions:-

1. Will the money massively improve your lives?
2. Will the new job be significantly more interesting / enjoyable?
3. Is it a significant career development and is career development something that matters to you?

I would need 3 definite yeses to be willing to go back to work early and leave a 5 month old and a 15 month old.

I don't have children so can't offer any advice from that perspective.

If it was another company, I would lean towards no.

Same company means you know the culture, whether it means more pressure etc, their policy is relationship to time off if children are sick/can't gp to babysitter etc.

It's on of those decision that's a highly personal one unfortunately. Only you can know what's the best choice for you and your family.

Congratulations on the new baby btw.

As someone who went back when my second DS was 5 months, I felt bad and hated comments from other mothers questioning how I could do it. BUT 13 years later, with two very emotionally intelligent DS' that I couldn't be closer to. I have given them a good life because I could afford to. My DH nearly died when the youngest was 3 and remains vulnerable. My career is important because of the security it has provided me/us. Despite some very uncertain times.

This.

i have two DC.

Mat leave for the first was only 6 months. He settled better at nursery than the younger one who I took 12 months mat leave with.

Can Dad take any extended leave so you can go back to work and drag out the time a little before the youngest is in childcare?

That's not really what I mean when I say it. Obviously you don't get any time back. What I mean is that your kids will never be small again, the grow and change so quickly. For me personally, I made the decision to stall work progression for a few years. Worked 4 days a week and didn't push for promotion at all. I did this deliberately so that I could spend as much time as I could with my kids. I knew I still had 35 years plus ahead of me working. Once my kids were in school I went back to 5 days and focused again on pushing my career and even though it took a few more years than it should have, I am in a senior role on a great salary.
Obviously if the OP needs to make this decision herself. No judgement here! I just knew from my own perspective that I'd regret not trying to spend as much time as I could with them when they were young.

Congratulations on your new baby - it sounds like you have your hands full!
If it’s something you want to do, then go for it. With my first, I only had 3 months mat leave and 6 months with the second. (Quite acceptable 20 years ago tho!) both of mine went to nursery and have always been well rounded, curious individuals and have got great careers.
personally, I didn’t enjoy the small baby stage and so it helped my MH to go back so soon as I struggled at home - but you do you and don’t worry about what other people think. Do what is right for you and your family.

I went back when my son was five months and he went to daycare. It worked.

Take the job for sure! If it offers more pay and longer term flexibility etc and is a good fit.

Everyone saying you never get the time back, but you’ve got to think of the bigger picture too- you’ll have had a chunk of time off with your babies already by January.

Going back after 6 months did me and my child no harm and we breastfed until he was almost 3. It also meant my husband could take 3 months shared parental leave and our split of jobs at home etc is now even, because we both know how hard it is to work full time and juggle things.

Could your husband take shared leave January to April?

lots of people saying “I couldnt send a baby that young to nursery”… (I’m not sure why it’s a big deal if the nursery is a good one tbh!)

OP you don’t have to send them to nursery If you have a partner at home who is willing to take shared leave. This would also mean you get to the youngest being 9 months by April term and hopefully can claim your 30 funded hours per child from April onwards, so it might be better financially too if one of you can drag out some leave until April.

even if it’s not possible for your partner to take shared leave, it’s worth the short period of paying in full for both kids if the job is a good fit

good luck!

When DS1 was born maternity leave was a max 6 months , but had increased by the time DS2 was born. 6m leave was fine, a year was too long IMO. It was much harder to get back into work and TBH I don't think I ever really did get back to where I'd been previously after DS2.

Thank you all for sharing!

You could make it work to your advantage in some way if you wanted. Dh helps out more at home somehow to enable better quality family time maybe?
As it's an internal post could you negotiate for someone to cover temporarily until you're due back?
It'd be a pity to lose the opportunity if you feel it wouldn't balance.
Whatever you do feel no guilt either way.
Good luck