To wonder how people are coping?

[CobbleWobble]

We are very lucky, I know this.

We are "Mumsnet rich" both have professional jobs with good salaries (£170k household income) and yet this last 12 months:

• removed children from private school
• changed how we do the weekly shop to reduce costs
• cut subscriptions (like Disney+ etc)
• reduced what I bought in the back to school shop
• decided against a holiday in October half term
• concerned about our usual Christmas food order

What is going on? I just don't understand why or how prices are rising as they are or how people on less than us are coping!

I'm extremely grateful we have the things to cut that we have but we've also had to remortgage this year which has doubled our mortgage payments and then our utilities have increased and the food shop has just got insane.

We have other things we can cut - a holiday in the UK, Netflix, the monthly takeaway but its just miserable to think we may need to do that just not to be living.

Happy to post spending particulars if people are finding it hard to see where I'm coming from.

So AIBU to think that as a country we cannot go on with prices rising like this? How are others coping?

A lot of people near me split it, so that one starts late who does the drop off, and then another finishes early to pick up, or is regularly mysteriously unreachable 3-3.45....

But then works late.

While I understand that posts like the OP’s will always get comments of “tone deaf” - yes, it feels like on this kind of income things like private schools and frequent holidays should be within reach. We’re on a similar income, in London, similar stage of life I’d guess, and there’s no way we’d find the money for private school. And our holidays are (by preference) modest homeswapping types. Mortgage and childcare come to £3.7k / m here.

I know what you mean. My partner earns similar to your combined salary (he earns more but it is in AUD).

15 years ago his salary could support a family, pay for a large house in a good suburb and usually pay for a holiday house somewhere.

I’m not working because my child needs therapy and I can’t take him to therapy and work a normal job.

I am very frugal with my shopping. I shop specials and come back when items are on sale. I don’t have nice things any more. All of my tech is old. All of my money goes towards living expenses. I had a better standard of living when I was single and earning a lot less money.

Costs have risen so much I think WTF when I’m out shopping. It’s absolutely crazy.

We don’t even have a back yard because houses with a backyards are too expensive right now.

I know people who live far from the city and they have a combined income of over $300k but don’t look it at all. They aren’t secretly rich, they are spending their money on living expenses and raising children.

@CobbleWobble you shouldn't have said you earn 160k if you are stuffing pensions because people will think you have a much higher income than you do. How much is DH putting into pensions?

I'm not coping thanks for asking. I earn a fraction of what you do and life is miserable and draining! 😭

I would have to agree with this!

Oh wow so your monthly income is circa 14K where on earth does the money go?!
We live in Spain and survive on around 1400 euros per month and we have Netflix but admittedly no mortgage. Maybe you should trade places with someone less fortunate for a trial period and learn some tips? 🤔

Just an FYI, I'll be disappearing again in a bit!

@sminted I don't actually know, I only see what goes in to our joint account and the headline number of his salary. I'll find out.

Is that a response to me? Where do get £14k from? It's £7k!

Oh wow so your monthly income is circa 14K

@Topsymay it's nowhere near that.

@Topsymay you know people have to pay tax?

I mean, you've answered yourself. Your mortgage has doubled. Cutting a fiver a month by cancelling disney plus isn't going to make a dent in that.

Lots of other people don't have big expenses. I'm always genuinely surprised at the amounts people quote on here for their gas/electric bills, rent, etc. They're often quadruple or more what I pay.

I'm not saying that to be judgy btw, just due to different circumstances. But two colleagues could have the exact same salary but due to whatever different combination of additional income/expenditure live completely different lifestyles. You generally only see what other people do spend money on, not what they don't.

Someone who didn't send their DC to private school could go on ten holidays more a year, for example. Or buy their DC a house flat out when they graduate. Someone with grandparents providing early years/wrap around childcare could be saving thousands over the course of a few years compared to someone who either has to reduce their own working hours or pay for it.

@CobbleWobble On 7k with 3.5k on mortgages & childcare things will feel tight.

I meant to add @CobbleWobble , your mortgage as a % of your take home is too high in my opinion. It should be closer to £1750. Obviously the reasons are the reasons, but for anyone else saying it isn't huge....that's currently 35% of their income. It should be closer to 25%.
Our mortgage is 2.2k and we are in the 20-25% range...
The other thing is that it looks like you have no life insurance...is that right? Or are you using benefits from work?

We earn 1.5k a month less than you. Mortgage 1.8k a month. No childcare just the odd bus fare and £10 a week each for school dinner treats (3 children). I think you probably need to scale down your idea of what you can afford.
For us our pay is amazing but we've always been slightly skint or in debt so now we've not not had a lifestyle creep so have money to spare to budget. However I do see how if you've always earnt well the drop for things being expensive is going to be difficult to see.
We have one holiday a year. Shop at Asda/lidl. Budget each month for Christmas, school clothes car expenses ect and that gets put away so we don't have to stress about finding the money.
I think honestly you'll just have to learn to budget and prioritise what's important to you. There will be lots of people in your wage bracket suddenly finding that there isn't any moemy left at the month. It's do able to still live a comfortable life though.

Oh I calculated it at 170 / 12 =14.167 🤷‍♀️

OP - we're on a bit less, maybe £140k, but yes, it feels similar.

Mortgage about £1700, child at university, lots of wraparound/holiday care needed for younger children/

We work full-time and long hours in professional jobs, have only one car, and struggle to afford a cheap holiday each year. We've delayed things like replacing worn-out carpets.

Food and fuel going up has been tough. Mortgage payments and fuel for the house have increased by about 50% for us since buying the house.

So we have a similar income and very comfortable. It's only got so high in the last few years though so we live in a normal house we bought 6 years ago so mortgage is manageable. One child, no childcare except occasional after school club which averages around £15 a week, she does quite a few activities though. Two pretty modern cars but not ferraris or anything like that. No private school but would consider it for secondary.

Honesty if you're not managing on that something is very wrong

The OP has said that the split is about 80/20 so her DH is on £128k so about the worst possible amount to earn as 25k of that will be taxed at 62%

Tax and pensions, if won't be anywhere near that

🤣 genuinely not sure if this is a bragging post or not.. 170k a year is well off..but you know that don't you 😉
Anyway... I'm not sure why you'd have to be cutting out disney and UK holidays when you have that money? We are on a lot less than that and are paying for disney, netlix, PlayStation us, all the extras, we are getting by just fine. Where are living if you don't mind me asking, is it London? Are you living beyond your means house wise? Are we talking 5 bed detached with acres of land? Or 3 bed semi ? Maybe you need to downsize?

@CobbleWobble yes you have less money than you used to as the mortgage interest rates are ridiculous and if you had to remortgage, but you are able to afford your house, all your bills - hot water, electric, extras like Disney etc. wrap around care, you have a car, you have food on the table AND you still have £900 extra a month for day to day spends and some savings, plus you are both putting into your pensions. Seriously, there are children in the UK who are going to school hungry, there are more kids worldwide who live in rubbish pits and are begging on the streets and don’t have a safe place to sleep. I get times are hard, but I think a bit of perspective will do you good. You will be absolutely fine, it’s sad your children have had to leave private school but they will be absolutely fine also. x

I am talking about the qualifying UC threshold, not the amount of UC received. The qualifying income is less than a quarter of £170k. It is closer to a tenth of that income. Top ups don't cover everything. Eg Local Housing Allowance in my area is realistically 50% of the cost of a private rent. Doesn't meet 100% the cost of a Housing Association either.

£7.95 in Aldi today!!!!

Life insurance is one I forgot off the list!

Yeah, when we bought the house we were not so stupid as to think rates would remain so low and we modelled our expenses on a much higher rate and were fine, to then find out your gable wall needs rebuilding (our houses are on a slope, so only part of each house is attached to the next) was a big surprise! We also didn't expect to have dc2 who was a big surprise.