Person working next to me smacks their lips

[Roosch]

The lovely young lady who works at the desk next to mine has an AWFUL habit of smacking her lips and eating with her mouth open, at her desk.

This is driving me up the wall.

What do I do without strangling an otherwise lovely person.

Surely it’s not misophonia when clearly the noise is not socially acceptable, lip smacking when eating and clustering your charm bracelet in a shared office would piss anyone off wouldn’t it?
misophonia is low tolerance to “normal” noises, pen clicking, a dripping tap isn’t it?

I feel your pain I can’t stand noisy mannerless people. I used to work with a guy who CONSTANTLY made vile snorting snot noises which would make me want to kill him.
I just started saying ‘Ewww!’ Every time he did it.
he turned round and looked at me a few times and would blow his nose instead. It would make my eyes water trying not to heave and really set my nerves on edge. Lockdown was a blessing, I still remember that as the worse thing about being in the office 😂

I wouldn’t say anything but I would have a pair of those very obvious headphones on your desk and put them on every time she starts eating.

Is there anywhere else to eat? Can you raise about an eating away from the desk rule as its distracting etc. Other than that if you won't just say it then you'll have to remove yourself or tune it out. That's one good thing with hot desking, being able to get away from irritating people.

She may not know she's doing it. She also may not be able to help it. As a child I couldn't chew with my mouth closed, I tried and tried, but with the brain damage and coordination problems that resulted, I simply couldn't do it.

I worked with a woman who had psoriasis. She always sat in the same seat in the staffroom and would skin pick at break times and lunch. When a buzzard plucks a pigeon it creates a semi circle of feathers. She used to create a semi circle of skin flakes in front of her chair. Every evening the cleaner woukd hoover it up. Every day she'd recreate it. Used to make me heave.

Were you aware or your parents aware so that you could modify your behaviour accordingly? If OP's colleague has brain damage and is unable to eat in a way that doesn't disturb the office environment I would think she would take herself out of the office. Or I think if it were me and there was no way to avoid disturbing others then I would explain that I had brain damage.

I had a colleague who itched nervously, leaving a similar circle of dry skin. Her line manager took her aside and found ways to manage it.

My mum sniffs . It doesn't happen anywhere other than the back of my car. Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff on a 2 hour car journey is like a form of torture. In her house, in my kitchen, out for lunch no sniffing. Not one. Get in the car and it bloody starts.

Make her walk 🙈

Back in the 1990s (can't speak to post millenium) graduate employment schemes often had 'dinners' as part of the shifting process. Can't help but think they had something there!

But this is very much to do with the lack of work cafeterias or separate break rooms in favour of eating at desks along side the constant snacking/drinking culture.

Could you say, "Do you know that you smack your lips REALLY loudly when eating?!" She might laugh and say that she knows - in that case she probably won't change. Possibly, she could reply that she didn't know and then you could hint that it is really annoying. She may not be aware she makes such a loud noise and be horrified that she is annoying people.

The only way to find out about her response and whether she would modify her behaviour is for you to mention it.

The person I sit next to is lovely but whistles randomly, and doesn’t even realise they are doing it. Drives me bonkers.

The person I sit next to is lovely but whistles randomly, and doesn’t even realise they are doing it. Drives me bonkers.

Welcome to the hell of other people eating 😂
I have had to leave many a canteen

Lip filler?

I would suggest a no eating at desks rule to the boss/HR. Helps avoid all kinds of conflict/discomfort/unhygienic practice etc

I worked somewhere that had that rule and it was great. Meant you took a proper screen break too.

No solution but I know how you feel. I had a colleague with a constant sniff and after a long time sat next to I found myself sniffing too!!

Omg I feel your pain. I had the most amazing colleague, smart thoughtful kind. He ate an apple at 12 every. Single. Day. There was the crunch, the chomp (open mouthed) then swallow) i am an introvert, always have been, always will be. I screamed at him across the room to eat it with a closed mouth. It lasted 4 mins. The answer is I don't know but i hope you find an answer. You are not alone.

@AngelinaFibres that's vile! How could she not notice, or didn't she care?

@Roosch I'm sorry to say that your only options are colleagueicide or leave your job!!!!

I cannot bear having to work with people who endlessly clear their throat, dry cough, sniff etc. The wet lip smacking noises would drive me potty too. I'd have to orient my screen differently somehow so as not to see her and I'd definitely be wearing headphones. Can you change where you sit in the office?

I honestly don't see how you can raise what is clearly some kind of weird personal mannerism without it causing offence.

Could you leave an anonymous post it note on her desk, or ask a manager to have a word?
I used to work in an office where a young man had terrible BO and dirty clothes. A manager did have a quiet, and I imagine sensitive chat with him and he cleaned himself up.

I used to sit next to someone who kept up a running commentary about her work saying 'now what needs to be done with this? where's that form now? Oh I need a red pen for this where is it?' Drove me potty so I asked to be moved.

Another time I used to sit opposite a man who needed to inject himself with insulin at about 10:00 every morning. He'd get his EpiPen out, expose his hairy stomach & inject himself. Eventually I said 'I realise that you need your insulin at the same time everyday, but can't you do that in the first aid room please?' Luckily others around me joined in & agreed the first aid room was a more appropriate place.

OMG. If I wasn't already retired I would worry that you were talking about me. I am afraid I might be guilty of this occasionally.

Though I don't know whether I would be described as lovely.

I had this and kept silicone ear plugs in my drawer that I would pop in the moment I heard wrappers rustling. It was that or murder. Never had an issue visually though, just look at your screen.

I worked next to a man, who would eat a packet of crisps while typing. He would eat one chip, rub his hands together, type something, eat one chip, rub his hands together....

I was pregnant at the time so maybe extra grumpy, but it drove me insane.

Ditto sniffing. Blow your nose for God's sake!