To tell my almost 12 month old “no”

[scarybuttrue]

Is it too early to teach “no”?
There are things I don’t want him to touch, like the telly etc.
I have said no and he laughs, I’m not sure if he understands. Is it too early to start discipline?
He will be one in just over 2 weeks.

He’s only just started crawling and pulling himself up in the last week or so, before that he would just sit and play with the toys I put in his reach so I’ve never had to say no.
I was asking because he laughed and seemed to think the word no was funny like when I hide and say boo and he giggles.

Obviously I can tell he doesn’t understand just yet but he does say a few words.

It is funny when they dont act the same, I remember with my 2 the second is so different from the first.
Like DS1 had dummys, so I got plenty ready for DS2 - no, not interested at all!

it's a bit odd to even ask, and wait 12 months, to say the word "no"!

Even with a baby, they grab your hair or your necklace, you gently say "no". I mean, surely for most people it just happens naturally?

How do you manage 12 months of their life without every saying no and starting to try to teach them the basics. Of course you don't expect a lot, but you naturally start?

What would have done OP if people said it was unreasonable to say no. Just let him knock the TV over?

Not sure how controversial this will be but I save ‘no’ for stuff which is dangerous/harmful. Once babies are active, you can find yourself stuck in an endless loop of saying no because they just want to be in/on/under/eating everything. I think if you use no all the time, they respond less immediately to it when you really need them to listen (when you’re worried about their safety or perhaps someone else’s (eg hitting or biting)). So, if it’s safety related, I used a firm ‘no’ or ‘no, danger’ and moved them away from whatever it is. If it was something less ‘important’ but still annoying, I’d just redirect them (pick them up) and say ‘let’s look at this now’ or ‘toys are for playing’. If you can, move away from the tv altogether if they keep trying to get to it - mainly to save yourself redirecting them a million times as babies have no impulse control. A few other examples I just thought of: climbing up slides - I just said ‘slides are for sliding’ and moved them away. Or ‘we only throw balls’ (throwing toys) or ‘food is for eating’ (throwing food).

As I said, I did this to avoid saying no all day. It can feel like such a negative cycle (for you and them) if every move they make comes with a ‘no’. So switching up your language can help. I know it’s frustrating but it can be years before these things really click so if you can baby proof rooms (put things out of reach/block them with a deeper tv stand or something) that can also help.

Definitely don’t worry about saying no though - there are plenty of times it is really important to say it, especially if they are in danger or hurting someone else.

How do you manage 12 months of their life without every saying no and starting to try to teach them the basics. Of course you don't expect a lot, but you naturally start?

Well yes, but the OP was just asking for advice.
She doesn't need to be lambasted by everyone.

You really don’t want to meet a child who’s never been told no. As everyone else said. Say no firmly, maybe why (a very simple explanation) then move them away. And while you’re at it, comment on things you’ll want to raise later - like someone using the potty, who has a baby in her tummy. You want to introduce concepts earlier than you’d think. Personally I despair of parents who refuse to tell their children anything about reproduction till they’re in year 6 and have picked up wrong info in the playground.

Just saw this, the laugh can just be a sign of discomfort rather than happiness. Some kids cry when they hear no/get told off, and some laugh. Both are them trying to process the ‘discomfort’ of displeasing you. Keep saying no when you need to!

Sounds like you are in need of parenting lessons you should have been saying no if they were touching stuff they shouldn’t as soon as they touched it.

@margegunderson Don’t say a baby is in a tummy either then!

At that age we put a playpen around our tv, and the VHS that was with it (they could ‘post’ things into a VHS machine). You can reconfigure the playpen panels if you have the same type we did. We had to push other furniture to wedge the panels between the console table holding tv/VHS and the furniture, so our living room looked ‘interesting’ for many years.

Similarly at Xmas, we’d redo and add extra panels to quarantine a Xmas tree off from little people as well.

really? baby never stuck it's finger up her nose or something?

NO should be one of the words children hear and understand the most until they are teenagers! And beyond!
You would be doing him a disservice by not keeping him safe!

Why is ‘ah ah’ better than ‘no’??

My baby is a very similar age. She is told no a lot. It’s automatic isn’t it? I don’t see it as discipline and I don’t expect her to understand ‘no’ properly yet, so distraction/moving her away/moving the item is the order of the day. Distraction is the most successful.

It’s absolutely terrifying that some people really are such knobs

It isnt better or worse it is just what we did to get their attention when they were young, we did progress to no eventually.

Of course you say ' no" when its appropriate. Why wouldn't you?

It often seems that people think 'discipline ' is a negative thing, when it simy means ' to teach'. You are teaching what is right or wrong, what he can or cannot do, what is safe and what isnt.
The trick is to be consistent with what you are doing.

My baby is a very similar age. She is told no a lot. It’s automatic isn’t it? I don’t see it as discipline
That is exactly what discipline is. When you say no to her, you are teaching her what she cant do or have in that particular situation. Its not bad!

Sounds like you should have read the full thread where she said they have only just started mobilising and trying to touch things

Unnecessary comment 🙄

Remove him look him in the eye sternly and say a firm no I would also raise a finger while saying no
if he laughs repeat do not smile or laugh however cute he looks
repeat every time he does it he will soon catch on
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I find it hard to believe that a child wait until they are 12 months old to try to grab things!

Fucking hell. There’s some really unnecessarily mean things being said on this thread.

Nothing wrong with saying “no” but with a 12 month old they won’t understand yet so you will have to also remove them or distract with something else

No it's not too early. You'll probably find yourself saying it constantly now he's mobile 😬

I'm a big proponent of unambiguous use of the word 'no' but I understand how you can get to this age without ever saying it. For example when my daughter was a baby and went through the hair grabbing stage, we told her to be gentle, we didn't say 'no'. So I don't get the criticism there. At this age though there will probably need to be an action along with the 'no'.