To tell my almost 12 month old “no”

[scarybuttrue]

Is it too early to teach “no”?
There are things I don’t want him to touch, like the telly etc.
I have said no and he laughs, I’m not sure if he understands. Is it too early to start discipline?
He will be one in just over 2 weeks.

After you've read the shitty replies OP, just imagine a montage of all these posters making parenting mistakes/having questions. Because without doubt they have at some point!

I have been following Brat Buster Parenting on Insta/Youtube and she says starting gentle discipline (don't punish them/make them cry, but saying "no" and redirecting) can be from baby age, then stepping up to enforcing from about 16months.

You can say "no" but follow it up with a simple reason.
"No ... don't touch the TV"
"No ... don't play with the toilet paper"
"No.... don't touch your poo"
He needs to know why you are saying "no".
It won't understand it yet but he will gradually learn as he grows.

Well it will not be of any use when he is 21!! What an odd post.

How?
Babies are naturally inquisitive it's how they learn and develop. He isn't doing anything wrong!
It's fine to move him away and move things about of his reach and say no. It's not ok to shout or give consequences to him for not doing what you want him to do. He is a baby and curious about the world around him. He has no concept of what you call right and wrong

Just move him away we used .a noise "ah ah" for no. Just don't turn it into a game for him so you need to keep it short and right away.

Allowed...

Like what dystopian society does your brain goto?

Ignore that poster @scarybuttrue

Sanctimonious dickhead

You should start saying no when the child first does something you don’t want them doing. Tell them no and then the the it’s away or move the child from the item. It’s not rocket science!

Then you keep saying no and moving him away.

The ceremony is starting soon, hurry!

Teach right from wrong as soon as they have understanding. You don't have to shout or be stern - just a no, move out the way and repeat. They soon learn. It's a natural part of their development to want to explore. You would say no to a baby crawling towards a hot drink and move it out the way. The same goes for the TV.

have not rtft. Why wouldn't you start way earlier than that? to protect them from potential harm?

I amn't sure I really succeeded in implementing this when mine were little, but I have read that very young kids won't understand 'no, don't do x' as all they hear of that sentence is 'do x' so you're better off saying what they should do, not what they shouldn't do. So rather than 'don't play with your food' it's 'food is for eating, toys are for playing' or whatever - and either move them or the thing away if needed. But yeah, definitely start redirecting him away from stuff you don't want him to touch or approach now. It'll take a while, but he'll get it eventually.

It sounds like OP's baby has only just started crawling and getting more mobile so she hasn't needed to until now.

At this age impulse control is very very low. So they can understand no but the impulse to still do the thing is stronger. It’s not being naughty. There are some great websites and books out there about baby development. Babies cannot be disobedient at this age.
But he can learn what no means with gentle reinforcement. Plus distraction. Fortunately they are also very portable at this age so they can be picked up and moved somewhere safer.

Right from wrong (don't steal, don't lie) and 'dont pull the bookcase, it will fall on your head' are totally different though.

I acknowledge I'm a a hideous, evil parent but I was firm on my NO's when it came to safety - touching potentially hot stuff, plug sockets, whatever - when they were crawling.

I absolutely DID want them to be wary of those things because you have to have eyes in the back of your head with toddlers.

They have gone on to lead full lives and can use the oven and plug things in.

You could also add why you do not want him to touch something. “No touching the oven, it’s hot and dangerous” “No touching the TV, it is heavy and dangerous”

rather than NO!

I have a toddler & we say no, at that age it’s about redirection/distraction as much as it is about using the word “no” though.

Our crawling babies could not reach the tv. Pulling themselves onto their feet they could. We took the view to toddler proof everything or they are not safe. Tv went higher! So also wary of sharp edges and anything that might topple over. We had socket covers too and made sure DC couldn’t get at wires for lamps or the lamps themselves. When they get moving @scarybuttrueyou live differently. You should also say “no” when dc is clearly going to do something that’s unsafe. Get a stair gate too! Life changes!

I don't think OP's 6 month old climbs on the bird cage.

Obviously you can say 'no' if you don't want him to do something but don't expect it to be an effective way to stop him doing something at this age. If you don't want him to do something you need to physically stop him from doing it. Saying 'no' at the same time is fine so he understands the association.

How have you avoided the word 'no' for an entire year?

I know where you are coming from OP, with my eldest i wanted to do everything right with lovely gentle parenting and I was afraid just saying ‘no’ would in some way be detrimental to him so i offered up long waffle explanations that he didn’t understand, then he didn’t know what the rules were, and we ended up in a right old fix with him having tantrums and me trying to waffle my way out of them.

Then I just got pissed off with it and started saying no with a brief explanation like ‘no, that’s hot.’ it’s good for them and plays the groundwork for when they’re older and want to skip school or spend £200 on something daft - you’ll have to say no then. So it’s better to become a normal word in your house, not a scary judgemental word, just a simple no.

Say no and be firm with it.

My eldest was a rule follower even as a baby and toddler - you could tell her no once and she would stop doing whatever it was. From about the age of 3 I could get her to stop doing something with a slight shake of the head.

It was a bit of a shock when the youngest had her first tantrum at the age of 8 months because I moved the TV controller out of her way. I knew then she was going to be very different.

But firm, age appropriate boundaries and consistency were employed and generally worked.

There were still tantrums, but they didn't last long and I kept the same approach in public as at home by re-iterating boundaries and not giving in or being inconsistent due to embarrassment.

I did pick my battles though - and it wasn't often they got told an outright 'no', so when I did say no they knew I meant it.

I was thinking this! I’m pretty sure my 18 month old thinks her name is no, last name “careful”😂