Rude woman on the bus, WWYD?

[DontReinMeIn]

Last night I got on the bus like normal, there was a guy watching the news out loud without headphones on. It was annoying but it is what it is, you can’t force someone to put headphones on, so I put my AirPods in and that was that.

a couple of stops later an older woman (probably 50-ish?), got on and goes straight up to the man, starts jabbing him and shouting at him to turn it off, because the news was now about Trump and a speech he made and the woman “can’t bear to listen to it”. The man said no and turned back to his phone. She started screaming hysterically about the fact she can’t stand Trump, shouldn’t be subjected to listening to him in a public place, and demanding that the bus driver remove him from the bus.

The driver refused and told her that she needed to sit down or get off, as he couldn’t continue his route with her being disruptive. She sat down, but was crying loudly and told every single person that got on about what had happened, how she was so much better than that man and criticising everyone else on the bus for not “speaking up” about him listening to it.

AIBU to think I should’ve just told her to shut up? Looking back I regret it because as much as I dislike Trump (and people not using headphones on public transport), the man wasn’t actually doing anything wrong and shouldn’t have been attacked like he was.

ok, you keep saying this. Point out all the posters/comments that have said physical violence is ok but loud music/phone stuff isn't?

Literally nobody said this.

How? I am not being discriminatory. Simply pointing out there does seem to be a difference across generations.

😂😂 Oh the irony!

quit the ageism. You sound like a contrary teenager at this point who must disagree with everything anyone over 30 says ever.

Chatting to friends is fine and so is talking to friends on the phone, with the phone HELD TO YOUR EAR as was normal until the Kardashians deemed otherwise, so people can't hear the other side of the conversation.

This is when done at a low to medium volume. Super-loud conversations and one-sided phone calls are obnoxious.

But broadcasting your music/TikTok/news is the worst firstly the volume's loud and distorted and sounds deeply unpleasant and - as this lady said - we havent' consented to hearing Trump/porn/your Mum's views on foreigners/Sabrina Carpenter and don't want it in our space. I despair.

Based on what? You can't possibly know. You're just making a sweeping generalisation based on your own bigotry. 🙄

Erosion over the generations of good manners and consideration for others, I guess.

Except my kids are teenagers and I've brought them up to have manners. Shame your parents didn't do the same because here you are arguing against everyone that the man did nothing wrong.

How do you even know what generation each poster is in? Have you secret access to our dates of birth?

a couple of stops later an older woman (probably 50-ish?)

As a 55 year old, I find this line hilarious. And then someone else said "I'm with the old lady"

Do people really think a 50 year old is now an "old lady"??

I think I missed the memo, I must remember this when I am clubbing in the Caribbean next month 😂

Would she have kicked off if he was listening to something she enjoyed?? Because it seems like Trump rather than speakerphone audio triggered her. I wouldn’t have bothered saying anything to avoid her directing her anger at me - but I wouldn’t assume mental health issues, just rude and overbearing. Both she and the man displayed inappropriate and disruptive behaviour but only one attacked the other, so she was more wrong than him. I dislike loud audio but I also dislike people having LOUD phone calls on public transport. However, you can’t tell them to speak quieter because for many that is their normal tone of voice! Annoying AF and i fantasise about throttling them but just huff in silence instead.

I wouldn’t do anything - she’s clearly mentally unwell.
Possibly, but I don’t think that excuses poor behaviour like this

OK, so you did nothing, you don't think her behaviour should be excused of she is mentally unwell, so what do you suggest then?

THANK YOU!!! This is exactly my point. She was pissed off because it was Trump. Not because it was out loud

I never said old. I said older. Because I am 26. She is older than I am.

You're funny 😂 Insistent that your post wasn't ageist, then slipping in an 'it might be an age thing'. I'm glad you're happy when other people make antisocial noise on public transport, but as you can tell from this thread, not everyone is. And it's not 'an age thing' when my autistic 7 year old gets distressed at people playing loud music on the bus.

Based on the comments other people have made!

To be fair, when I was 26, I thought 50 was ancient, so I do get it. It's funny once you are here at this age, because you don't really feel old at all! And it seems so odd to see it written down as old or "old lady". 😅

I’ve said that, in general, it may be a difference across generations. That doesn’t make me ageist.

if I said “I’m not like older fuckers, they’re sensitive and miserable”, THAT would be ageist.

You are only 26, so I suppose you're only just becoming emotionally mature (and that's not an ageist comment, it's a biological fact to do with brain development, albeit backed up by your comments here).

Normal bus behaviour. He was being rude and inconsiderate. She sounded mentally unwell. Happens all the time. I mind my own business.

But he was in the wrong despite the fact that she shouldn’t have touched him. Nobody should have been able to hear what he was listening to.

I will happily play annoying videos right next to these people until they get the hint and turn it off. They can’t say anything because I’m only doing what they are doing. Maybe she has mental health issues and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Could you not have asked him to stop it if it was clearly upsetting her?

Do you really not know that human beings can exhibit a range of behaviour, anywhere from sitting in silence to loud, rowdy uninhibited behaviour, and that we are able to select behaviour appropriate to the setting?
Most of us are taught and understand the behaviour appropriate in various settings. So we don't shriek with laughter during the prayers at a funeral, or stand in silence when people chat to us at a party.
The bus, like the hospital waiting room, falls somewhere in between. So silence isn't required but noise made should be at a level that doesn't disturb others. Truly, has no one explained this to you before?

Someone can and should be made to wear headphones on public transport. I've seen train conductors tell people to do it. It really should have been on the driver to tell the guy he was disturbing and upsetting the woman. I don't blame her tbh. I absolutely hate people who do this in public places with no regard for anyone. Would have been interesting to see how quickly he was stopped if he was broadcasting a message from, for example, Isis.

It has nothing to do with how polite your comment is. Making a generalisation about a group of people based on one characteristic they share (in this case, age) is bigoted, so is ageist. If you'd said "Older people aren't very good with technology" that would also be ageist, even though it also doesn't contain an expletive. Does this explanation help you understand why some pps are calling your comments ageist?

Not your monkeys not your circus, why the hell would you or anyone else want to get involved. The man was being a dick in the first place and could have easily diffused the situation himself by simply turning off his phone and chose not to so it’s on him really, I wouldn’t be minded to get involved at all in this situation.

14 pages of a MN thread where one or two people have agreed with you is hardly representative! 😂