Rude woman on the bus, WWYD?

[DontReinMeIn]

Last night I got on the bus like normal, there was a guy watching the news out loud without headphones on. It was annoying but it is what it is, you can’t force someone to put headphones on, so I put my AirPods in and that was that.

a couple of stops later an older woman (probably 50-ish?), got on and goes straight up to the man, starts jabbing him and shouting at him to turn it off, because the news was now about Trump and a speech he made and the woman “can’t bear to listen to it”. The man said no and turned back to his phone. She started screaming hysterically about the fact she can’t stand Trump, shouldn’t be subjected to listening to him in a public place, and demanding that the bus driver remove him from the bus.

The driver refused and told her that she needed to sit down or get off, as he couldn’t continue his route with her being disruptive. She sat down, but was crying loudly and told every single person that got on about what had happened, how she was so much better than that man and criticising everyone else on the bus for not “speaking up” about him listening to it.

AIBU to think I should’ve just told her to shut up? Looking back I regret it because as much as I dislike Trump (and people not using headphones on public transport), the man wasn’t actually doing anything wrong and shouldn’t have been attacked like he was.

Because you don’t want to accept she was?

I agree it’s a much more serious example.

My point is, as many others have said, is that the responsibility should be on the person being anti social to change their behaviour, not the recipient.

Strangely enough, I'm not invested either way and have no desire to 'accept' (what a strange suggestion) whether she was or wasn't. I just think you're describing her in a very descriptive way that you haven't adopted to describe the many involved.

The man was sat on the bus watching the news! He didn’t do anything wrong

no.
She wasn't rational and i don't think any pp have said so.

You are being sexist and ageist by giving her age, calling her "hysterical" and just saying "man".

Reflect on that and maybe next time people won't say you are being ageist and sexist/misogynistic.

You still haven't answered though: did she actually touch him, how far did her finger jabbing get?

ETA: ah i see she was jabbing his shoulder. Not hard enough for him to slap her hand away, and he managed to just ignore it. Can't have been that loud then, for him to still be listening to his phone.

She went over the top with it, but at least it was communicated to him how annoying his behaviour was

Selfish entitled people listening to loud crap in public generally need some sort of sanctions.

He WAS doing something wrong, he was watching the news without headphones.

It's so depressing to have it confirmed that if you're 26 this is completely fine and we should all just put on our own headphones and ignore. Why when cheap headphones are available everywhere for very little money is this acceptable behaviour? If you can't afford headphones don't listen to music, TikToks, the news, your friend yelling down the phone at you. It's antisocial.

Yes he did.

As already explained by numerous posters he was doing something wrong, he was listening to something out loud in a public space so anti social behaviour.
Honestly, I agree the woman’s behaviour was OTT but why are you not accepting that this man was doing something wrong. Do you happen to be the man in this scenario or a friend of his?

No, I just think that it’s really not that deep in the grand scheme of things. It’s an annoyance but it’s hardly crime of the century! As I’ve said, I just put my AirPods in!

But then where do you draw the line? No phone calls in public? No chatting to friends? We must all move in silence

Why should you have to put your AirPods in? What about those that don’t have them or can’t? Why should one person be able to pollute the airspace of everyone around them with whatever that one person wants to listen to?

This might help you, in particular no.11:

www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/asb/asb/antisocial-behaviour/what-is-antisocial-behaviour/

The point it, that man makes it impossible for 'each to their own' to happen. The only thing the others on the bus can do, if they don't want his personal choice imposed upon them all, is to put on headphones.

None of the above are acceptable in a loud manner while on public transport.
If you're confused think about the bus a bit like the cinema, or a hospital waiting room, somewhere enclosed.
If everyone listened to the phone loudly, chatted loudly in these areas, it would be manic.
It's bad enough that some people think it is acceptable.

That's a ludicrous extrapolation, but now we've got to the crux of the matter - you simply don't think what he was doing was anti-social. Which makes you part of the problem.

So now we must sit in silence on public transport?!

And all that time he just ignored her?
I would struggle to ignore that.

No, you draw the line at playing things out loud that could easily be made silent to other people who have not consented to listening to whatever you want to listen to.
So talking to people who are all present in public: can't legislate for that so other members of the public have just suck it up. (I would though say there is generally a social contract whereby people keep their voices at normal level and don't shriek or shout; if they do then I think they can be challenged, or at least tutted at Britishly)
Making a phone call: again, other members of the public have just put up with hearing the caller's voice.

The other side of the phone call, though, can be made silent to other people by using headphones.
As can music/TV/other audio.

Saying that other people can just use headphones puts the responsibility on the wrong person.
Not everyone has headphones, either; and some people don't like using them. I use mine when necessary ie on long journeys on a bus, when I get travel sick if I read but can listen to music or podcasts, but I find them uncomfortable in my ears. Plus not being able to hear what's going on around me makes me feel nervous and jumpy, so I'd really rather not put them in just because someone else on the bus won't use theirs to listen to their music. Some people have sensory issues that make it hard or impossible for them to use headphones, too, and they certainly shouldn't be obliged to try to use them just because someone else won't have a little bit of consideration.

The woman was clearly unwell but I'd have had no sympathy for the man playing a video loudly on his phone. I find it interesting you're so accepting of this as someone in their 20s. Yes I am generalising by age group now too, but it does seem it's accepted by younger passengers on public transport while older 30+ inwardly roll their eyes and wonder when everyone became so self centred and lacking in social etiquette.

Loudly having a phone call on public transport is also rude yes op.
Yes generally we aren't meant to be noisy on public transport. Chatting with another passenger, fine. Chatting loudly on your phone, playing music, playing a video and impinging on other peoples peace is anti social behaviour.

As for the driver, he was probably just thinking of his own personal safety as well as his job security. He had to ask the woman to stop blocking the aisle, putting himself at risk. He didn't have to call out the man to carry on his job driving to a timetable.

I do wish people would think of other's on public transport and not be so insufferable.

I think that you are being obtuse, most people can work out what is acceptable in a public space. Listening to your phone/tablet etc without headphones, so everyone else either has to listen to it or put headphones on themselves is NOT ok. It is anti social behaviour.
Why are you defending this behaviour so vehemently? As previously asked are you the man or a friend of the man in this scenario?

As previously answered, no.

im just baffled that people think it’s okay to be physically violent but draw the line at some music! Noise is part of public transport

But if he retaliated he’s automatically the bad guy. He told her no and turned back to his phone, what was he meant to do?

I give up at this point as everyone has explained why the man was in the wrong and was being anti social, it is NOT ok or part of public transport to play music/news without headphones etc so everyone else has to listen to it. No one has said it’s ok to be physically violent either, you are being purposely obtuse.