To think parents use “I’d die for my kids” as a way to cover the fact they often don’t actually live for them?

[WryAmberBee]

It’s dramatic to say you’d die for your child but AIBU to think it’s more impressive to live for them - be present, patient and consistent, which many parents don’t manage?

Why don’t you get a life?

Would you not die for your kids then OP?

It's a meaningless ridiculous saying OP.

I think you're overthinking a meaningless statement.

You can live for your kids and die for them too.

I think it's easy to say (and mean) that you'd die for your child.

It's much harder to give up the small things, e.g., a quiet cappuccino on a day out.

The only people I know who say things like this are dads who live apart from their DC and do the minimum. Take lots of photos though.

I know what you mean op. Ive seen people post this on social media and think, you dont even take them to hobbies they might like. They are accessories.

it is a dramatic meaningless statement.

Yes I agree. In my previous work I spoke to many men who said that, but they wouldn't help with homework, brush their teeth, take them to clubs, read at bedtime, pay child support. They wanted 1 opportunity to "be a hero" instead of putting in the constant boring grind.

I meant that living for them day to day is the harder part, dying for them is hypothetical but showing up consistently is real.

It's not something I can imagine saying myself. I can't imagine many (at least not likely ones) situations where me dying would be helpful for my children....

What now?

Agree. It's the daily grind and putting yourself out that is parenting - not the dramatic words that are unlikely to be tested.

And have tattoos, of their names and DOB.

Yeah it’s usually a cringe meaningless saying from not very intelligent people……

Really? Thats what you took from this thread.

Massive point missed……

Why would you live for your kids? Love them, help them grow into safe happy adults, sure. But live for yourself. I’m not very into martyrdom.

Do you not get figurative language when used as tired cliché, OP? When someone says they ‘love the bones’ of their children, do you think they only love their skeletons?

Someone asked me this when DD was a baby. My immediate thoughts was "fuck, I can't die, she needs me!" And I've been more careful crossing roads ever since 😆

I don’t mean losing your whole identity. I just meant being consistently present and invested, rather than relying on grand declarations.

And still forget their birthdays.

I understand what you mean - it’s always the useless ones making bold statements!

That’s fine, I guess that phrase makes me think of awful fake insta mums or something.

One of the Australian marmasupials, I forget which, throws their young at predators then runs away. Reasoning that, if the mother dies then the young one does as well.

Surely most parents would do both?