To think parents use “I’d die for my kids” as a way to cover the fact they often don’t actually live for them?

[WryAmberBee]

It’s dramatic to say you’d die for your child but AIBU to think it’s more impressive to live for them - be present, patient and consistent, which many parents don’t manage?

In my experience in primary schools... Those parents who say that are actually trying to use it as a defense for some act of poor parenting.
The year 1 child who comes in filthy and hungry every morning... "You don't know nuffin' about me! I'd die for me kids!"

This phrase is only relevant in a danger type scenario. If I was in a burning building would I do anything to get my kids out even if it meant I’d burn myself? Or would I leave them behind and save myself? Very likely the first. So yes in that sense I would die for my kids.

It's just Facebook speak. No need to think deeply about it.

Words are so very, very easy aren't they? Akin to those posts waxing lyrical 'You are the brightest star in my sky and amaze me every day with your strength, beauty and love. You teach me so much about the world and I am so lucky to have you as my best friend. Our journey together makes me cry with happiness every day. Thank you.'

The child is two FFS. And whenever you see them out together the Mum is invariably fixated on her phone whilst said Wonder Child gazes into the middle distance chugging on a Fruit Shoot.

I rarely give credence to anything people say. Instead I always watch what they do. Often the two are very, very different and it's very, very informative.

Is this about your ex?

But still forget their birthdays

I just think some people are not very good at expressing themselves verbally so they speak in cliches like this. That’s okay. Not everyone is good at everything and they will be good at other things.

Of those people, some will be good parents day to day and some won’t. But I don’t think that’s anything to do with using the phrase itself.

I agree. It's said by the sort of dads who try and get out of paying child maintenance but think that saying this makes them father of the year.

I've always taken the phrase to mean 'I'd die instead of my kids'. In a 'them or me' situation. Not that anyone thinks it would be of great benefit to their kids to die for them as some odd gesture of love. Of course kids need their parents!

Idk, I think the vast, vast majority of parents do their absolute best. Nobody will get it right all the time (where does that 'they fuck you up, your mum and dad' saying come from?) but I don't think many set out to do a sub par job.

Insects and birds - always the same rubbish!

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that in real life. It sounds like something a troubled soap opera character would say as their kids are wrenched away and taken into care. Then it turns out the allegations were all made up by the evil stepson who is also plotting to poison his Granny. Or something.

Has your kids’ dad let you down OP?