Hi so basically I wanna know what you lot think about this.
About 6 years ago partner went out for drinks with his work lot when our son was a newborn ,He came home obviously very drunk and fell asleep next to me while I was bf our son ,his phone was right next to me on the bed buzzing like maddd ,I tried to wake him up but he was way too boozed up to actually be awake ,I saw a text pop up on his screen “when do you want me to come” I was like erm what somebody better not be coming over in the middle of the night so I unlock his phone and find multiple messages saying the same sorta thing ,I’m like what the F ,all unknown numbers. I start googling all these numbers (21 of them he’d made outcalls too) they’re escorts. Right so after pacing about not sleeping when he finally wakes up I question him he says a work friend (this person was actually dodgy af) used his phone bc he had restrictions on his etc and was on a family plan or whatever with ex misses can’t remember the exact reason ,anyway I believed it for the most part when he profusely apologised and it sorta made sense like why would he ask them to come to ours ?? When I’m there ,anyway so we moved on until I scrolled through his gallery on the laptop one day ,we have kids together and I scrapbook so I was looking for things to print off done this so many times never had an issue with it and then he got real mad at me all of a sudden I was like erm what ? Suss bc this is new behaviour. I questioned him on why he was acting weird he said cause he’s ordered me stuff for Christmas ,okay nice so I drop it then Christmas comes round and I kid you not Xmas eve he’s panicking asking what I want for Christmas right ? So I tell him oh just get me some choccys I like ,Xmas day comes all I get is those choccys and an IOU ,Wouldn’t bother me at all accept obviously the situation either the gallery came flooding straight back ,I get suspicious I check his gallery again and he’s got screenshots of escorts on this booking site. I go to the booking site make a new account with his email ,Ofc it’s already registered I question him and he’s saying he was just looking bc the girl is someone he knew from school and was showing the lads. I’m actual dumb enough to believe this! Honestly anyway I took a picture of it myself and then some doubt popped in naturally so I go to the date that this thing was taken ,It was a day I’d fell out with him and stayed at my mums!!! Curiosity gets the better of me I check the box of condoms ,ones missing and some time had passed but I literally remember how many was in the box bc he got a vasectomy and I joked when he was given the go ahead for unprotected sx that we wasted money on the box now and there was this many left ,it really stuck out so I started doubting him ,anyway the trust issues were killing me so I left him ,when I left him his whole family thought I was horrible cause nothing was proven saying I’m being dramatic etc after about a year I end up getting back with him and I said obviously slow steps and I need to trust you again etc etc ,The kids were happy he’s a good dad aside from this he’s been good ,anyway so people got in my head and I thought okay I’ll give him a proper second chance cause like everyone said ,nothing was proven? Now I’m like erm what else could it have possibly been ?? Anyway the other day we had a BIG row because he accused me of cheating bc I got home from drinking with friends and I turned life 360 off ,We have it for the kids anyways I was drunk I wasn’t answering the phone bc it was loud (30th birthday party for a close friend) and he looked on there realised it was off it was off cause my battery was like 14% but I’d have thought he’d know that since it shows your battery status etc anyways we had a big row and he decided to leave for work ? In the middle of the night.luckily the kids were at his mums or he’d have left me drunk with them ,Okay whatever he goes to work then he comes home acting overly nice, way too nice ,I go to get something out the car and see he’s left like Maccies rubbish in his van and it was a weekend so I just use the van key (attached to the car key) grab the Maccies rubbish to put in the bin. He came running outside in just his boxers “WHY YOU GOING IN MY WORK VAN” I’m like erm to get this why you ran out like that ? He’s like cause I wanna make sure you lock it up properly ? So weird anyway so I’m like okay that’s suspicious af I leave it I don’t say anything or act in anyway suspicious I’m just like oh no problem sorry ,Then the next day when he’s out I go in the work van ,Ofc I find something weird. Condoms? Why would a man who’s had the snip in a 10 year relationship have those ?? I ask him and he says he don’t know. I said tell me honestly why there there he says must be someone who had the van before him. I remember everything about the escorts. I say show me your call log he shows me ,nothing weird there ,I say okay show me your online banking and he starts calling me a psycho ,Anyway I kick him out bc sorry but yeah you’re up to no good AGAIN I should’ve learned my lesson but hey ho,he keeps pleading to come back and I’m like no show me your banking. He says no then out of the blue he says oh I forgot but me and (work friend) got some food and I had to give him the cash. I was like okay I don’t really care then about a week after he says to me okay fine you can see my banking I just wanna come back you’re being unfair and shows me his bank and on that day that he left for work in the middle of the night after our row he widthdrew some money ,quite a lot. Now he’s saying it’s not suspicious bc he already told me about the dinner they had. Like how dumb does he think I am ,anyway I totally threw him out and once again everyone’s giving me the “there will be an explanation you’re being way too hard on him and he’s probably telling you the truth but knows how it’ll look so didn’t wanna show you his banking” bs and basically I know I haven’t proven* what happened but surely I’m right in suspecting and coming to the conclusion I have. Which is that he was mad at me for “cheating” bc he probably is and not only that he left and got some action off an escort?? And clearly has used them before. Surely I’m not being paranoid bc that’s clear as day from my perspective? I don’t feel I need to prove it any further ,that’s what it looks like ,Or am I being too hard 👀 sorry this is so long but I’m sick to death of him and his and my family making me out to be cruel and I wanna hear what you guys would do or think ,p.s he had his location off too which is ironic