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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is he flipping the script ?

51 replies

Karlaken · 16/09/2025 19:01

Hooked up with a guy that Ive been talking to off and on for the first time. We had . Anyways we had very passionate sex, several times that night. I ended up leaving the next day. He has sporadically texted me afterwards. He called me I didn’t answer so I called him back, he didn’t answer…. Decided to call me two days later after I texted him and asked him why he called me. Said he wanted to call and check up on me? Said he couldn’t remember why he called me and didn’t call me back? Said that it feels like he called me two weeks ago instead of two days ago….. I ended up telling him that I regretted the sëx, cause I normally don’t get down like that.

This man flipped the whole script… said that he was drunk, which he wasn’t. Said that he didn’t even think he was going to hook up with me, that he was surprised he even seen me due to him being busy. Y’all when I tell you this man was all over me and feening to see me. He has basically flipped the script acting like I was the one pressing to hookup with him… said he couldn’t remember certain conversations that we had that night? At this point I was just wondering why the hell he was calling me … I don’t live anywhere near you nor did I contact you or initiate anything after sëx…. All I’ve been doing was responding?

This man has been watching every story I post, commenting on my pictures… yet acting like I’m doing this to him? Reversing psychology. Why are you evening reaching out to someone you obviously want to play games wih me? I ended up removing him from my socials and now he’s going to my page still watching things…

OP posts:
DressingGown · 17/09/2025 00:04

I'm too old for this

Pryceosh1987 · 17/09/2025 00:09

Online is exposure. Everything we do online can be exposed.

Willthiswork12 · 17/09/2025 00:11

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 17/09/2025 00:01

It sounds like he's more sensitive than he's letting on. I think he does like you. I think he probably did go and do something else when he missed your call and thought sure I'll talk to her again. From the sound of it, he could have taken you saying that you regret the sex to mean that you regret the sex with him! And that's why he might have flipped it. He could have thought you weren't too invested in him so he pretended he was drunk and he didn't plan to be with you either. My opinion anyway. It sounds to me like he does like you but is getting his confidence up with you and isn't sure if you are on the same page

Edited

Oh you sweet summer child.

He needs to get his confidence up with her. But he wasn't too shy or not confident enough to fuck her.

It's really not that deep or complicated. They had sex without being in a relationship, and it's gone back to the way it was : sporadic contact.

QuayshhLawrain · 17/09/2025 00:40

So you slept with him, played phone tennis for a couple of days and then when you eventually manage to get on a call with him, you tell him you regret having sex with him, is that about right? Now you're surprised he's trying to save face by making out it was you doing all the chasing?

Yeah, it sounds like neither of you is mature enough to be honest about how you're feeling, so there's no future for the pair of you as a couple.

80smonster · 17/09/2025 00:50

Delete his number, next time he texts/calls say ‘sorry - who is this?’.

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 00:51

QuayshhLawrain · 17/09/2025 00:40

So you slept with him, played phone tennis for a couple of days and then when you eventually manage to get on a call with him, you tell him you regret having sex with him, is that about right? Now you're surprised he's trying to save face by making out it was you doing all the chasing?

Yeah, it sounds like neither of you is mature enough to be honest about how you're feeling, so there's no future for the pair of you as a couple.

So he texted me the next day after sex, we were texting back and forth. I decided to pick up the phone and call him we talked for about 30 mins, then it stoped.

Three days go by and he decided to comment on my picture, I responded and that was it. I decided to remove him from my socials because I just wanted to get over it. He decided to call me the same day after I removed him…. That’s when I missed his call etc.

OP posts:
Needlesnah · 17/09/2025 00:57

bumbaloo · 16/09/2025 22:13

Nope. I’m confused too.

You hooked up. He texted you several times afterwards and called you. You didn’t answer but called him back. He didn’t answer so you texted. 2 days later he called you again.

So far this all sounds fine. You genuinely couldn’t take the call. He presumably couldn’t take your call. You texted and he called back. 2 days is really not long.

you then sort of interrogated him. Then you told him you regretted having sex.

so at this point he’s probably feeling shit as you’ve made it clear you don’t like him.

so now he’s trying to regain his dignity

Yep 👆🏻

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/09/2025 01:13

VoltaireMittyDream · 16/09/2025 23:50

Oh it’s the foot-kissing love-making poster from a few days ago! I remember this thread. You were confused when he chatted to you normally afterwards and didn’t want to do a long intense analysis by text of how meaningful the sex was.

Ooooooh makes sense.

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 01:25

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/09/2025 01:13

Ooooooh makes sense.

Our stories or not even similar. Not me

OP posts:
itsraining2024 · 17/09/2025 01:25

So u had sex, text afterwards and he called you and then you called him back and then he calls back 2 days later and you say u regretted it? Mind games from the pair of you. I’d block and avoid because it seems petty tbh. He wants a booty call and luckily your behaviour put him in his place. So now he’s trying to hurt your feelings.

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 01:39

itsraining2024 · 17/09/2025 01:25

So u had sex, text afterwards and he called you and then you called him back and then he calls back 2 days later and you say u regretted it? Mind games from the pair of you. I’d block and avoid because it seems petty tbh. He wants a booty call and luckily your behaviour put him in his place. So now he’s trying to hurt your feelings.

How did my behavior put him in his place ? I wasn’t trying to play games? I was being serious when I said I regretted it. I told him that I regretted because there was no solid foundation, told him I never do stuff like that.

he commented and said “it wasn’t a one night stand”….

But it was because your behavior is telling me it was so??????

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/09/2025 01:58

His ego is bruised, he didn't expect regret, he is losing his mind. At least he has shown his true nature.

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 02:09

EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/09/2025 01:58

His ego is bruised, he didn't expect regret, he is losing his mind. At least he has shown his true nature.

Edited

I’m confused…. Why would he be losing his mind ?

OP posts:
TheGreatWesternShrew · 17/09/2025 02:11

I mean… you told him you regret having sex with him. He’s obviously embarrassed and upset and is trying to cover that up. I think it’s you who flipped the script.

Greggsit · 17/09/2025 07:19

he commented and said “it wasn’t a one night stand”….

But it was because your behavior is telling me it was so??????

What behaviour? You texted for a few days afterwards. He calls and you chat in the phone, as you had previously done. Then there's just three days where he doesn't make contact. But the next day he's on your social media, he phones again, but you miss the call. And when you phone him back you demand to know why he's contacting you and you tell him you regret having sex with him!

Again, I can't see what he's done wrong. He didn't treat you badly, he didn't treat you as a one night stand. You are completely overreacting over just three days without contact. Three days where you did the exact same thing as him - just didn't text. From what I can see, the only person that did anything wrong is you, when you took the nuclear option of dumping and insulting him straight away.

XelaM · 17/09/2025 07:26

OP why would you play games and tell him you regret sex with him when you like him?!? This is on you

ThatCyanViper · 17/09/2025 07:28

You’re not doing anything weird — he’s just trying to manipulate the narrative and maintain control while still grabbing attention. Let him go.

tripleginandtonic · 17/09/2025 07:32

Karlaken · 16/09/2025 21:43

Idk why he’s acting weird … why even text me or communicate with me after…

You're being just as weird though. He gave you great sex but it was a one night stand, there's nothing more you can make out of it. Tine to move on.

Seeyouincourtkeith · 17/09/2025 07:56

Way too much time spent analysing a bloke who clearly just wanted sex. Block and move on.

RealPerson · 17/09/2025 16:43

I think if he did text you the next day that's fine to leave it a few days to contact. Has he been in touch again ?

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 16:59

RealPerson · 17/09/2025 16:43

I think if he did text you the next day that's fine to leave it a few days to contact. Has he been in touch again ?

Nope after that conversation he said he would call me back but never did it’s been a week. He recently stalked my socials tho

OP posts:
Comtesse · 17/09/2025 17:02

Just block him. It’s a load of old rubbish, byeeeee

itsraining2024 · 17/09/2025 22:44

He’s playing mind games. You’ll end up being sectioned or something with a man like this. Run.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/09/2025 22:48

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 16:59

Nope after that conversation he said he would call me back but never did it’s been a week. He recently stalked my socials tho

You're acting like you've lost your mind too, obsessing.

Arrange to meet for lunch, phone communication isn't working for you two. If he refuses the lunch invite, you have your answer.

Move on.

Karlaken · 17/09/2025 23:20

itsraining2024 · 17/09/2025 22:44

He’s playing mind games. You’ll end up being sectioned or something with a man like this. Run.

Can you elaborate more ??

OP posts: