I think IBU but still annoyed

[Newgolddream70]

I’m eight years into co-parenting DS10 with exH and in the main, we get on ok. DS10 spent the weekend with his Dad and he said that on Saturday, his Dad and partner went out for the evening (only until 11) and left him at home with partner’s daughter who is 15. DS said it was ok and he was still awake when his Dad got home and he went up and read him a story. Is a 15 year old mature enough for this responsibility? It doesn’t sit right with me but I also know it was his Dad’s weekend and therefore his right to make the decision.

Of course a 15 year old is responsible enough to look after a 10 year old! Did you never babysit as a teenager??

A 15 year old is only one year off being legally old enough to have their own child. Of course that's not a problem. The bigger issue is why husband dad went out when he was there. Unless he spends most of the week there, surely you go out when your child is not there?

No, I didn’t!

When I was 15 our neighbours used to pay me £20 to look after their two toddlers every other weekend so they could have a night off! I can’t see a 10 year old being too much hassle!

Of course it's fine - why on earth wouldn't it be?

Do you have particular concerns about your son’s step sister?

Because it’s pretty normal for a 15 year old sibling to babysit for a younger child.

Absolutely nothing unusual about this at all and completely normal for an older sibling to watch their younger siblings for a few hours.

Yeah its fine op. Especially if they weren't even late and DS was ok with it

When my kids were that age and a bit younger, we paid a 15y babysitter…

No concerns at all. I just see 15 as being really young. From the responses so far, it seems I’m in the minority.

It’s fine, but I would feel uneasy about it in your position too. It would be less uncomfortable for you if you knew the 15 year old so you could judge for yourself, but you don’t so it’s not the same. Unfortunately this is just one of those things that goes along with being a separated parent. It’s hard.

At 16 (in Scotland) my children could vote, move out of home without permission, get married without permission, leave school, join the army etc etc.

At 16 the doctor wouldn't discuss their health with me without specific permission.

At 16 they held down responsible part time jobs in addition to their studies and went away for unsupervised camping weekends.

15 is “young” in comparison to someone in their forties but it isn’t “very young” and I would have been pretty disappointed in any 15 year old child of mine who wasn’t responsible enough to look after a 10 year old sibling.

A 15 year old and a 10 year old should be fine left at home for a few hours unless DS has additional needs and you therefore are worried the step sister wouldn't be able to cope with him. Surely unless the eldest in the year, DS is in year 6 so given a bit more freedom at this age regarding supervision.

From 13 I was babysitting for loads of people. Some of them even left me a few beers in the fridge as I got a bit older. You're being very unreasonable.

Yes I think a 15 yo can babysit a 10 yo. My dd looked after my DS when they were exactly those ages (also a 5 year gap). Both were happy with it.

Was your annoyance more than he had the chance to be with your joint DS that weekend but chose to go out?

Either way, no point being upset as there’s nothing you can do about it!

You mention your 10yo being read a bedtime story - it might be me but that seems quite unusual, so I wonder if that's swaying your view.

@tumblingdowntherabbithole normally he would be asleep by half 9/10 but I think because his Dad was out, he stayed up reading his book until he got home and then read a chapter to him. We don’t usually read to him anymore.

It’s common where I live for 14year olds to be paid to babysit primary school aged children.

It all depends on the maturity of the 15 year old. Most I know are fully capable of looking after at 10 year old for a few hours and are able to use a phone to call for help if needed.

Is this also the 15yo babysitters home?

My Sis was babysitting her nephew of 1yo for a few hours at 15.

You think a 15 year old can't babysit?

What planet have you been living on!

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing well, yes, that has annoyed me a little (to the extent of an eye roll) as DS only sees his Dad every other weekend and one night in the week but I don’t think it’s a regular occurrence and DS is very happy being there.

A person is deemed to be old enough to get married at 16 - one year older than this girl! So yes, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

@Chiseltip look, I’m using this forum as a safe space to air my feelings and get some perspective.

I was 15 when my youngest sister was born and had been babysitting for years by then so regularly babysat her and my other sisters. Was taken on holiday aged 12 to babysit younger cousins.

15 is fine.