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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think IBU but still annoyed

40 replies

Newgolddream70 · 15/09/2025 18:38

I’m eight years into co-parenting DS10 with exH and in the main, we get on ok. DS10 spent the weekend with his Dad and he said that on Saturday, his Dad and partner went out for the evening (only until 11) and left him at home with partner’s daughter who is 15. DS said it was ok and he was still awake when his Dad got home and he went up and read him a story. Is a 15 year old mature enough for this responsibility? It doesn’t sit right with me but I also know it was his Dad’s weekend and therefore his right to make the decision.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newgolddream70 · 15/09/2025 19:21

Thanks everyone. I do appreciate all the replies. Seems I need to lighten up a little.

OP posts:
ruethewhirl · 15/09/2025 19:22

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 15/09/2025 19:00

You mention your 10yo being read a bedtime story - it might be me but that seems quite unusual, so I wonder if that's swaying your view.

Show quote history

I was thinking the same. Does he usually still have bedtime stories, OP?

NoahDia · 15/09/2025 19:23

It's more than ok, especially as everyone has mobile phones.

My sister used to babysit me before they were invented so if there was an emergency, she would've had to ring the venue from the landline.

whistlesandbells · 15/09/2025 19:25

Is it also the daughter’s home? Does she live their full time? Even if it isn’t, l’d be more inclined to trust a 15 year-old relative (who is your son’s step-sister) than an unknown babysitter. Your son is 10.
I think you’re in grey area territory here because I wouldn’t get a babysitter to come to the house to look after a 15 year old and 10 year old.
Sometimes things come up, like events, and adults have to go to them. You can’t dictate parenting on his time and this sounds like a one-off. I would leave it to be honest.
Also, you’re going to get more of this as the kids age and perhaps this is the first step. On weekends he is with his dad he is just parenting and living their - that’s his home. Why doesn’t your son see more of his dad - was there no interest in 50/50?

Theunamedcat · 15/09/2025 19:30

When my daughter was 15 she was watching her younger brothers (4&8) whike i worked however my soon to be 17 year old son cannot take care of his 12 year old brother he doesn't have the right temperament for it

So I think it depends on the children involved and your ex is best placed to make that decision he knows the 15 year old

Original poster
Newgolddream70 · 15/09/2025 19:31

Yes, it is the daughter’s home. My exH never wanted 50/50. He wouldn’t be able to do more in the week anyway because of his job/other commitments. Anyway, that’s for a whole different thread and I don’t want to go down that route!

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 15/09/2025 19:32

Perfectly fine for 15 yr old to babysit

Little annoying that dad went out when he only has ds eow

NImumconfused · 15/09/2025 19:36

15 is fine for babysitting if the 15 year old is sensible I was looking after toddlers for a family friend at that age. However, I'd be a bit pissed off he went out on one of the very small number of nights he has DS.

WhatYouEgg · 15/09/2025 19:36

I used to pay a 14 year old to watch my DS when he was 9.
now he’s 13 himself, my friends are starting to ask if he’d be happy to babysit their kids.

If both are sensible it’s absolutely fine, especially with mobiles if there’s an issue.

Hercisback1 · 15/09/2025 20:07

15yos get paid to babysit other people's children. I think you need to relax.

Endofyear · 15/09/2025 22:17

I was babysitting much younger children from age 13, before the days of mobile phones and being able to contact people instantly. 15 is certainly old enough to babysit a 10 year old!

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 15/09/2025 22:22

I get the panic, but honestly its fine. I was babysitting for 8+ hours a day in school holiday's at 14. I had a regular group of parents on our estate who took turns to go out so I babysat pretty much every Friday and Saturday night from being 14 til inwas 18 and went to uni. The kids ranged from 2 to 12. Although the older ones were way more hassle!

SummerFrog25 · 15/09/2025 22:24

Newgolddream70 · 15/09/2025 19:13

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing well, yes, that has annoyed me a little (to the extent of an eye roll) as DS only sees his Dad every other weekend and one night in the week but I don’t think it’s a regular occurrence and DS is very happy being there.

But do you know WHY they went out?

was it an event where they couldn't choose to go another time - friends birthday dinner? For example?

if it's only occasionally I wouldn't expect them to turn down an Invitation to an 'event'

🤷🏻‍♀️

oh & 15 is well old enough for a few hours. I was babysitting babies/toddler from 12.

Sassylovesbooks · 17/09/2025 21:10

I appreciate you don't know the 15 year old, so you have absolutely no idea if she's mature enough to have the responsibility of looking after a 10 year old. At 15, most would be perfectly capable, unless the younger child had issues, and then it perhaps wouldn't be appropriate. I find it more strange that your ex and his partner went out together on their own, when I presume it was his time to spend with his son! Surely, you'd go out when he wasn't there! You will have to trust your ex husband's judgement here.

notmycatagain · 17/09/2025 21:18

YABU, but not massively so.
Some posters on here are far more relaxed than I would be. I wouldn’t employ anyone under 18, I think 15 is the minimum age I’d be happy with for a family member, and not for a child under 6.
But a 15 year old step sibling watching a 10 year old I would be okay with.

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