School receptionist

[Twinmum345]

i just lost it with the school receptionist. Not my finest moment but I have had 3 years now of her being consistently rude (not just to me but to everyone) and I snapped. I am always extremely polite and calm with her, always really nice, even got her a Christmas gift with the other teachers, and she has been nothing but rude everytime we have ever spoken. The school also acknowledges this as they do get regular complaints about her. Anyway,

my twins (7 years old) are off school today as we all have a really bad virus. Temps had been 39+ sometimes reaching 40 (I’m a nurse also). They were off Thursday and Friday however I spoke to a different teacher last week. Called in today as they are still unwell although improving, and still have a fever and immediately the receptionist demands documentation to prove they are unwell. Not asks, demands. I said I havnt taken them to the GP but have spoke to 111. Apparently this isn’t good enough and I must produce a doctors note and she also questioned why i am not giving them antibiotics.

Obviously I told her the “documentation” isn’t a requirement and they don’t have antibiotics because it’s a viral infection. I was really polite but she kept being really rude and demanding that I must provide it.

i am normally really good at holding it together but I also have the virus, my temp is 39.8, I was holding a screaming baby and I have not slept and she was talking to me like I was a complete idiot.

does anyone else have a nightmare receptionist?

also to add: she said any absence over 3 days requires “documentation”.. this has never been the case and she had nothing to say when I pointed out that not once has she ever asked me for this

It is very clear from the DfE guidance that schools have no business demanding evidence of illness unless they have "genuine and reasonable doubt about the authenticity of the illness". I'd write a factual letter to the school explaining the conversation you had, directing them to paragraph 365 of the statutory guidance "Working Together To Improve School Attendance", point out that it is statutory so the receptionist can't just choose to ignore it and put her own poilcy in place instead, and then request that the receptionist receives training on this.

The point is that you know what she says is nonsense, but other parents might be more cowed by her. If she's regularly telling people they have to get medical evidence, they might then start feeling pressured into requesting GP appointments for every temperature or D&V bug, which then takes up valuable NHS resources and mean other patients can't get to see their GP.

I'd also mention that it is not her place to be prescribing antibiotics and that she is overstepping hugely by offering medical opinions and advice.

I'm grateful that our receptionist is absolutely lovely.

The NHS don't do that for you, if you ask he GP surgery etc they charge for that as they are very busy and consistently annoyed by parents having to get evidence because their kid has a stomach bug, it's ludicrous even for those who can afford it. Sometimes these can be £20-£40, some parents won't be able to afford that nor should the NHS be doing that for free. If they have concerns a kid has too many absences they can contact the Education Welfare officer to do a check, otherwise just leave it and say it's an authorised absence of sickness.

@arcticpandaslooking at Google translate, besserwisser is my favourite new word! To continue my education, when is it besserwisserisch?

Years ago DC was badly bullied and it ended with the police charging someone; the group threatened reprisals. It had been a tough time, both kids were wakeful and stressed. It was almost the end of term so we decided to call it a day. I rang up the school and the secretary said she needed more details than ‘there’s been an incident, we are concerned about their safety and mental wellbeing. The police will be in touch.’ I said I didn’t mind speaking with the SLT once the police have been in touch and the police had said both schools would be notified ASAP.

Now, I’d known this school secretary for years (good behaviour, engaged parents, professional jobs, kids faithful attenders) and we are all polite rule-followers. She said ‘well I’m afraid if you can’t explain what’s actually happened it’ll be marked as unauthorised’ and I said, ‘police will be in touch with the SLT.’ She told me the Head would phone me, like it was a threat. Astonishingly, the Head didn’t phone and DC wasn’t marked as unauthorised; the secretary very clearly just wanted to know the juicy bits/bend me to her will 😂

More recently I phoned my DCs school (different school) to say ‘my mum died a couple of hours ago. DC won’t be in.’ I had been awake for three days and my heart was on fire. To this, she cheerfully replied, ‘oh-kay - back tomorrow?’

🤯

So yes, I do agree sometimes there is an unfortunate ‘lowest common denominator’ manner. Maybe some people’s grans die ten times a term but some must also actually die just the once. I cannot imagine such a lack of compassion and I have a job where people lie to me ALL the time! It felt so cruel in the moment and I don’t think it fosters a great relationship. Other DC’s school were lovely and the pastoral team were very kind. Guess which school has better outcomes?

Anyway, OP, I’d complain. I actually wish I’d complained about the thing with my mum but obviously it was low on the list.

When you tell the receptionist at school that your child is ill and she starts giving medical instructions. Whether they are hilarious (as in this case suggesting antibiotics for a viral illness) or accurate like telling you to make sure the child drinks, blows his nose, has cushions in his bed to keep his up etc it's very besserwisserisch because you give advice nobody asked for and that has nothing to do with your job. In brief; unsolilicited advice to show your knowledge (or lack thereof in this case).

It sounds as if she works for a particularly horrible academy chain in my area. They treat children like prisoners and their family members like jail visitors, as if they are also criminal.

They would prefer children came into school ill (vomiting in sick bags in the classroom in my personal experience) than be off, affecting their attendance figures.

I work in a school and have never heard of a primary school asking for a sick note for children. My son's secondary school started asking for these (before he started) and under a previous Headteacher. Our local GP told a friend of mine, when she requested one for her daughter 'No, we are not here to write notes for children, it would take valuable time away'. It's not a legal requirement and you'd be hard pushed to find a GP willing to provide one. GP's don't have time, they're busy seeing patients, not sending sick notes to parents. You need to complain about the woman's rudeness but also for requesting something that a GP has no obligation, legal or otherwise to provide.

School receptionists are often twats.

next time she is rude, ask her if they have a public online feedback form you can use, like many companies have. if they have, go fill it in about her. new parents will see 'the first contact with the school' and their first impression.

and again, it is not the receptionist's job to police that. She makes a note "x and y are sick" and the appropriate person follows up according to school protocol.

"besserwisserisch" is the behaviour. Besserwisser is the noun. And i use it A LOT

Interesting. Growing up we had a trivia board game called “bezzerwizzer”. I thought it was just a funny made up word they’d come up with for the game.

you have to love German tho. All the words for all the things.