School receptionist

[Twinmum345]

i just lost it with the school receptionist. Not my finest moment but I have had 3 years now of her being consistently rude (not just to me but to everyone) and I snapped. I am always extremely polite and calm with her, always really nice, even got her a Christmas gift with the other teachers, and she has been nothing but rude everytime we have ever spoken. The school also acknowledges this as they do get regular complaints about her. Anyway,

my twins (7 years old) are off school today as we all have a really bad virus. Temps had been 39+ sometimes reaching 40 (I’m a nurse also). They were off Thursday and Friday however I spoke to a different teacher last week. Called in today as they are still unwell although improving, and still have a fever and immediately the receptionist demands documentation to prove they are unwell. Not asks, demands. I said I havnt taken them to the GP but have spoke to 111. Apparently this isn’t good enough and I must produce a doctors note and she also questioned why i am not giving them antibiotics.

Obviously I told her the “documentation” isn’t a requirement and they don’t have antibiotics because it’s a viral infection. I was really polite but she kept being really rude and demanding that I must provide it.

i am normally really good at holding it together but I also have the virus, my temp is 39.8, I was holding a screaming baby and I have not slept and she was talking to me like I was a complete idiot.

does anyone else have a nightmare receptionist?

also to add: she said any absence over 3 days requires “documentation”.. this has never been the case and she had nothing to say when I pointed out that not once has she ever asked me for this

Yanbu, I’d just ignore her though. What are the school actually going to do? If they send an attendance officer to your house then great. They can see 1st hand that you’re all unwell.

I think it has a lot to do with parents saying their children are unwell but actually being on holiday, as this isn’t the case for you then I’d definitely ignore or offer them to come and check.

edited to add… I think the rudeness is unacceptable, she is the 1st point of call for parents so I would definitely complain

Why is she advising antibiotics? Or questioning treatment at all?

That is absolutely not her place, and she is also a complete idiot to be questioning why you’re not giving antibiotics for any old illness. That would be my main complaint; a school receptionist trying to involve herself in children’s medical treatment.

Write it all down, check the school attendance policy which I doubt requires a doctors note in these circumstances, and then send it as a formal complaint to the HT. She’s hugely overstepping if she’s giving medical advice like advising antibiotics - she’s a school receptionist not a healthcare professional.

A lot of communiation from schools is a the result of two issues combined, which makes it truly awful:

1 Lowest Common Denominator comms - ie some schools take the approach that in a (almost always failed) attempt to limit confusion, they should communiate as if every parent is the same as that most difficlt to reach/ access parent.

2 Defensive Comms due to unpleasant/rude/inefective parents.

The combination leads to patronising, sometimes aggressive communication that is also very ineffective.

Our primary school is very much in this style.

Moving to a school that does NOT take this approach was an absolute revelation.

'Losing it' at somebody over the phone doesn't generally tend to be done with an indoor voice.

I wouldn't ignore it, I would put in a complaint about her. Ignoring it won't deal with the situation/future dealings with her.
Who does she think she is? The fact that she questioned why you haven't given them antibiotics tells me all I need to know. She isn't a GP, and we all know as parents viral infections can't be treated with antibiotics.
She needs coming down a peg or two, and if she looses her job over these complaints so what? She needs to change her rude tone. There are plenty of people who can fill her space.

The school also acknowledges this as they do get regular complaints about her.

This part is highly concerning. What kind of a school would actually want/accept somebody like that as the first impression that callers and visitors to the school receive of the school?

What will happen when it isn't 'just' a parent turning up, but somebody in a position of authority whom the school would consider 'matters'?

It's perfectly possible to be efficient and make sure that necessary procedures are properly followed without being a nasty old curmudgeon.

Urgh, that receptionist sounds absolutely awful. I’d ignore her for now and chase it up when you’re feeling better.

This obsession with attendance stems from the government and pressure they’re placing on schools. This has meant that schools have lost all logic and empathy. Kids get sick. That’s a fact of life. And when kids are sick, especially with fevers, they need to be at home recovering. And what GP has got the time or the resources to write out sick notes for every sick kid in school?! Absolutely ridiculous.

I’m getting thoroughly fed up with the heavy handedness of schools and thinking that they know best for our kids when our kids are just attendance data to them. Especially when they’re not helping the situation - forcing contagious kids in will just make the situation worse. And schools can’t even be bothered to help themselves with any prevention measures, like clean air systems, or opening windows in dirty toilets.

Something needs to change.

I hope you all feel better soon.

Who does she think she is? The fact that she questioned why you haven't given them antibiotics tells me all I need to know. She isn't a GP, and we all know as parents viral infections can't be treated with antibiotics.

Yes, I wouldn't normally advocate belittling somebody with your superior knowledge and qualifications; but she started it. I'd be very inclined to go in to see her in person if you can and ask her questions by meeting her wrong-headed assumed medical knowledge with actual medical fact.

One of the most satisfying things I ever saw on TV was a late-night discussion show where some loud-mouthed self-important idiot was mansplaining to an older woman and treating her like she was a stupid, doddery old lady; and she turned to him and said "Excuse me, you do realise that I'm a brain surgeon?!"

I understand the safeguarding issues of unexplained absences, and that they might have a policy of holiday fines, but do schools really think GPs would be happy to have their appointments filled up with parents needing a note because their child had a bit of a bug? (Also potentially bringing that bug into a waiting room full of ill people if no telephone appointments)

If you're going to complain, I think you should include her inappropriate questioning/suggestion of medication as she really shouldn't be doing that. Aside from that, just be cool and to the point with her - no more gifts! She sounds like such a jobsworth

I would have just said, "As I've explained, the children are ill and they won't be in until x day. Thank you and goodbye". Phone down.

If it happens again, do that. I wouldn't put up to anyway speaking to me like that. If they want/need documentation the school can send an email.

I agree it’s not the receptionist’s fault. But it is completely unacceptable for the school to record an illness as unauthorised just because they’ve decided they now need evidence. It goes directly against the gov guidance which says illness should be recorded as authorised and medical evidence should only be requested in exceptional circumstances.

This is why I just send an email to school. Don't have to deal with rude besserwissers.

Complaining gets you no where with these people. They are chosen and given the job to act as a gatekeeper and stop the head (or Drs!) having to deal with people. The only way to stop her is to make the head explain her behaviour and make her behaviour their problem.

But then the head just ends up with more work, having to deal with all of the complaints!

No-nonsense is perfectly fine; rude and objectionable is quite another.

@SprayWhiteDung but it stops. The GP receptionist was a bully, really unkind to myself, DD and DM but incredibly kind to DH. She repeatedly scolded me for things like "being late for an appointment" when she had written the wrong time on the card and I had shown her this, not hearing her, when I am deaf in my left ear and it is in my notes, it was endless tickings off and rudeness. I complained and she was retrained and I got an apology. Yes it was more work for the practise manager but that't their job! Same in schools.

Our school receptionists are lovely and helpful.

In fact I rang just this morning and she helped fixed my details on the system- because I wasn't getting any texts from school.

then the head can... well, head, and make it clear to the receptionist what her job is. Take the call, make the note. If there are attendance issues or follow ups to be arranged, it is not the receptionist's job.

All she needs to do is say "sorry to hear they're ill, get well soon, thanks for letting me know" and then do anything she needs to do in terms of recording the call, absence, reason, whatever after the call has ended.

I might not have written very clearly before; I agree with you!

I was just responding to the point about heads/practice managers wanting to employ a nasty person to get rid of the people with whom, as you say, it is indeed their job to deal.

Is it Mrs Lamb from Motherland?

There is a a huge difference in an effective gate keeping receptionist and someone who is rude. There is no need for rudeness, especially in a school. If that is how she is talking to parents I dread to think how she talks to the children when they go to her for help. I would complain about the rudeness and overstepping on medical advice, she has absolutely no place to do that.

Yes, I completely agree with you - I wasn't defending the heads who try to avoid doing their own jobs rather than choosing/training appropriately-behaved staff and managing them properly!

I was just saying that, if they want to take the lazy way out by having a rude, unprofessional employee to scare people off, the time they saved will instead just be taken up by dealing with the many complaints they receive about the nasty employee.

Also reminds me of Mrs Raven from My Hero!

I think it probably looks suspicious because it’s the second week back after summer holidays when holidays are cheaper and they are both off sick.

Feel for you, we had a nightmare one at our primary school.
years ago my DC was in the Xmas school play, in the band. They had an after school practise and an asked that all parents pick up promptly afterwards (wait outside for kids to be released!)
come chucking out time, bearing in mind it was f’ing freezing in Dec, that night had horizontal sleet and wind howling outside. So the few of us parents all huddled in the foyer for warmth whilst the kids finished (running late as always)
This bloody prison guard (sorry school admin) barged into the foyer shouting at us “that we were all told to wait outside for our children, and not clog up the place,” honestly we were spoken to like a bunch of five years olds. One chap responded by saying have you actually seen how it is outside! She just tutted, and herded people around like cattle….very rude.
ha…..but we got our revenge…..later someone said that apparently her husband had called to say that due to the weather he couldn’t get to pick her up on time. So she had to walk home in it…..