Sending child to nursery with hand, foot and mouth when you are on maternity leave with baby

[Cuppateaandbiccie]

Just that really, AIBU to send my toddler to nursery whilst on maternity leave with my 5 month old? The nursery policy is there is no exclusion for HFM but they should be kept off if they are not eating/drinking, have a temperature or are not well enough in themselves to play/engage. If they are fine in themselves am I ok to send them, even though they don’t ‘need’ to go in that I’m not going to work?
YABU - don’t send them
YANBU - ok to send them
Thank you!

As long as they meet the nursery requirements for going in, I think it is fine. You’re paying for the space and they will be more distracted from discomfort than if at home with you.

I was told it was contaigous and we were required to pick chikd up immediately, several years ago.

Depends if you're comfortable with your contagious child passing it on to other children or not I guess.

If they've been at nursery up until now, they probably got it from there and all the other kids and staff have already been exposed. So they might as well just keep going in.

My daughter was severely ill with HFM. Please don’t risk spreading it if you have a choice.

So if you were working you.would send them ?.just do.that you are paying for the place the nursery has a send them policy, I don't think there is much debate really.

I would, and have sent my little boy in with it. The guidelines that is safe to do so are there for a reason. By the time the spots come out it will have already been passed around nursery.

Absolutley not- its a very selfish perspective - "lets send my sick child to school to infect all the other kids"

As someone who had a really low immune system, when i was in nursary someone did this - sent their kid in "because they were fine" I caught it and ended up in hospital for three weeks. the school we moved to after that was a very strict No when it came to anything contageous.

Children passing sniffles etc to each other or viruses which the parents are unaware of / believe have passed is very different to deliberately mixing your child with others knowing they are contagious. There may be a risk to children with health conditions or vulnerable members of the family at home. A special event or holiday could be ruined if a child gets poorly. These things naturally happen and most of the time it’s just unlucky but I would be upset to find out someone had done it on purpose.

NHS website says send them in, which will be based off of thorough knowledge and research. You're fine to send in as long as they're feeling well.

It can make young babies very unwell. Since nurseries are bound to have babies and children with young siblings then it seems irresponsible to take the risk.

Is your child genuinely fine? I seem to remember a lot of grizzling and being off colour.

They should be at home imo.

No it's selfish. It would be one thing if you had to be at work but as you're at home anyway just keep him off, I'm sure he'd be happier at home when he's not well anyway.

HFM is contagious for several weeks afterwards, you can’t keep them off for that long. As long as you’re following nhs and nursery guidance I’d say you’re fine.

My 1 year old had it a few weeks ago but mildly and genuinely wouldn't have known he'd had anything if it wasn't for the spots and peeling skin

If the NHS and nursery have a policy I find you are much better with those than MN.

If you are abiding by the nursery's policy then it's fine.

As a childminder I don't accept children with HFM but that's my policy.

Following the nursery's policy is fine whatever the reason for sending them (ie work is not a "more valid" reason than any other).

It would be unreasonable to send them in knowingly in contravention of their infection policy.

Obviously during COVID etc it was a bit different but they also had policies reflecting that.

Thanks for all your replies. I guess I have an internal moral battle about whether it’s a selfish thing to do even though it’s within policy guidelines, and have fear of being judged by other parents/nursery staff. He was a bit off his food over the weekend but has eaten as normal today and is fine in himself now. He very likely caught it from nursery as they told us through the app that it’s making the rounds at the moment. He is very affectionate and I’m finding it hard keeping him away from the baby

I sent mine in- nursery and PHA said its fine so I dont see the problem. You cant keep kids of for minor viruses when they are otherwise well, theyd never be in nursery

Of course it is selfish, and you know it otherwise you wouldn’t have asked.

It being allowed doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. To everybody saying send them, ask yourselves: would you say the same if someone with a child in the same class as yours was asking if they should send them to nursery/school with un-treated nits? Because technically it is allowed.

I always followed the nursery and NHS guidelines and only kept dc off for fever and D&V. I never considered it a moral issue. My dcs went to nursery for early years education rather than childcare when I was a sahm so whether you are on mat leave wouldn't have been relevant.

If it's going round the nursery already it will make precisely 0 difference to whether the other kids get it or not if you send yours in. That's why the NHS guidelines say you can send them. It would only be selfish if you knew they'd got it from somewhere else and the nursery hadn't been exposed yet.

If he got it from nursery and its doing the rounds, it will make no difference if you send him in or not There will be a parent who is working who has no choice but to send them in as you have to when it's not a illness that require non nursery attendance. As long as you are following nursery guidelines I think it is fine.

There used to be an exclusion for it. My daughter’s nursery were very angry when the guidance changed as it made for a difficult time for them trying to keep it from spreading. They always let parents know there was an outbreak and asked people to consider not sending their children if that were possible. Most parents did the right thing and kept their kids off. It can be utterly miserable for kids who have it so if I could avoid doing that to another child I would.