Sending child to nursery with hand, foot and mouth when you are on maternity leave with baby

[Cuppateaandbiccie]

Just that really, AIBU to send my toddler to nursery whilst on maternity leave with my 5 month old? The nursery policy is there is no exclusion for HFM but they should be kept off if they are not eating/drinking, have a temperature or are not well enough in themselves to play/engage. If they are fine in themselves am I ok to send them, even though they don’t ‘need’ to go in that I’m not going to work?
YABU - don’t send them
YANBU - ok to send them
Thank you!

It will make a difference. It’s easier for a nursery to manage one or two kids with it than half a class.

This is not the same at all imo. She can’t magic away the HFM so the options are either send in or wait till it clears completely which could be weeks. I wouldn’t judge someone for sending their child in with HFM in accordance with nursery guidelines whatever the reason but would certainly judge someone for sending their child in with nits as that can be treated immediately and failure to do so is gross and lazy parenting.

If i was working, I'd send in if he was ok and nursery allowed it.

On mat leave, I'd 100% keep off

I'd follow the guidelines.

HFM - send them in as long as they are well in themselves
D&V - home for at least 48 hours

etc

That's what they are there for.

the NHS says that once the spots appear, you’re passed the most contagious part anyway.

So if he’s been attending nursery the last few days, he’s already been spreading it with no one knowing.

Id definitely send in provided he feels ok in himself

He got it from nursery which means all the kids have been exposed anyway. If he's still happy and not unwell with it then send him in. Guessing he's got spots which also means he's past the most contagious point as well.

But the class has already been exposed to it. Its most infection before spots appear so it's likely the most sick don't even know they have it yet.
Children are to be kept off if not eating or not themselves or have a temp.
There isn't really anything to manage other than knowing how has it and who doesn't.

IMO keep them off, but I know my children’s school tells you to bring them in. Same with head lice, scabies and tonsillitis. They sent us a list of ailments the kids can be sent to school with

I would also not judge the same way a single mum with no family help and at the risk of loosing her job vs a mum on mat leave or sahm who could easily look after her child.
In this case, OP is choosing her own convenience at the detriment of other families.

If the NHS says it's fine to send children with HFM to nursery, why are we even debating it? At the moment when the spots appear they're past the contagious phase. So all the moral issues of spreading it to other children don't apply here. If your child is OK then perfectly fine to send them in.

Honestly I would far rather get HFM as a kid. It’s one of those things that’s good to get out of the way sooner rather than later. I got it as an adult as I never had it as a kid and I was extremely unwell. It’s generally always circulating at nursery anyway.

DD1 just had a few blisters and was totally well in herself (it was me who got it badly! DH had it as a kid and got one tiny blister on a finger when DD1 got it). DD2 I kept home for a couple of days as she got it a bit worse.

And this is directly from the NHS

’Keep your child off school or nursery while they're feeling too unwell to go.
But as soon as they're feeling better, they can go back to school or nursery. There's no need to wait until all the blisters have healed.
Keeping your child away from other children for longer is unlikely to stop the illness spreading.’

You can get it more than once @moppety

Our nursery policy was always the same as the NHS, so they were happy to accept a child with HFM if they didn’t have a fever and were ok in themselves.

Yes as I said DH did but it was incredibly mild compared to me who had never had it.

School here but I called my daughter’s school and they told me she should still come in with HFM.

You can get it again and again and again. It's not like chicken pox, more like covid, with it being caused by very many different strains of different viruses.

My kid is not even 2 and he's had it twice. And both times were pretty horrendous. Didn't eat or sleep for 4 days. Screamed in pain constantly. I also got it from him one of the times and it was the most awful thing I've ever had. It was a particularly nasty strain, 3 of the kids at his nursery were hospitalised that time.

I did have it as a child too but I can't remember it.

Not quite true in that there aren’t unlimited amounts of strains . There are several strains and once you are exposed to one, you develop an immunity to that strain. Most adults have a degree of immunity to most of the strains. Personally I don’t know any child who has had it twice so that sounds very unlucky! Both of mine have been one and done thankfully.

My little grandson had it 4 times and was really unwell on the 4th occasion.

I would follow the NHS and nursery guidelines, so send them in if they feel fine.

It's most contagious before spots appear so the advice is to send them in if theyre feeling ok, because they will have already spread it to those who don't have immunity.

Id be much more concerned about the 5 mo. How're they looking?

My DD caught HFM at preschool, we were told to keep her home, can’t remember how long for. It’s very contagious (my husband caught it), I would be worried about the baby.

What!? Please don't send an ill child into nursery, for the sake of their own wellbeing and everyone else's.

Most parents are very selfish and entitled when it comes to this situation and have no problem passing it on to potentially pregnant, immunocompromised people through children’s families because “I’ve paid for the day”.

I'd follow the nursery policy and send them in if they're well enough. According to the NHS it'll start spreading before you even have symptoms and before the blisters come up, so if they were in nursery last week odds are it's already spread around.