No I'm bloody well not. My parents are completely unreasonable though. Grrr.

[BroccoliSpears]

I have been trying so hard to not let this bother me, but I've just ended up stewing on it all weekend and now I need to rant.

I have a 5-week-old son. My parents haven't come to see him yet. I'm not entirely sure why. I think they're just not very interested in me generally. My mum didn't know when my due date was when I phoned her the day after it. And when I phoned to tell them they had a new grandson she said "oh lovely, have you been in labour all this time then [2 days]? We assumed that you must have given up when we didn't hear".

So, a couple of times I've asked if they're coming and my dad gets all defensive and passive aggressive and makes me feel guilty for doubting that they care .

Anyway, here's the bit that I really need to get out of my system: I was talking to my dad late last week. He was going on about how excited he is about new grandson blah blah blah (forgive my cynicism, but talk is cheap). He then said, "you do understand why we haven't come to see him yet, don't you?" And I said no, not really, and asked him why.

"Well", he says, "To be honest, once you've seen one newborn you've seen them all. New babies are a bit boring really so we thought we'd let you get this bit over with and not crowd you and then we'll come when you're more settled and more up for visitors."

More able to cook a decent meal and entertain you as guests and less likely to need help you mean?

For fuck's sake.

The really irritating thing is that he's not completely wrong, newborns aren't as exciting as older children I suppose (older children like my daughter who is two and who they have seen once since her 1st birthday?) but could he at least pretend to be vaguely interested? I guess not.

Ahhhhh... I need to release this into cyberspace now or I'll stew and stew and stew until I go cross eyed. Bloody parents.

Are they old? If so it may be a reminder of their mortality - y'know evryone shuffling up a link? It is unreasonable so YANBU but perhaps also important to consider what you want in the longer term. The fact that they are not considering your feelings is bad but maybe they will be good grandparents soon - in the same way that some people find babies hard to cope with as parents but are great with older children. It may be just that they don't want to interfere - e.g. did your Mum have an overbearing MIL breathing down her neck? If none of the above applies you could always tell them what you'd like "I'd really love you to come and see us" followed by a pause, perhaps. Some people like to know they are needed so that they know they're not interfering - is there a specific job you could give her/them to do?

What a terrible shame. My father lives over 200 miles away and was desperate to come and meet our daughter. He came down to stay in a local B&B two weeks after dd was born

My mother felt it was her duty to come and help out when our last child was born, and she was 78 years old with a sick husband at home. I told her she need not come, that we would cope, but as soon as my dad was out of hospital she came.

So I have every sympathy with you. A new born baby is exciting and a great joy esp if your own flesh and blood and I would have been hurt if my own or dh's parents had not shown an interest.

Sorry I mean she had a sick husband in hospital.

I thought I would give the contrasting view with a new thread that has just started where people want strict control of visiting and don't want to even let the parents know they have gone into labour!
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I am with Elasticwoman and think a baby is exciting and a joy to share. I think this contrasting view may explain why OP's parents keep their distance and don't want to be a nuisance.