To be disgusted with my DD uni accommodation, pics included?

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My DD has moved four hours away to her uni accommodation today.

We got in her room and it was filthy, there is a huge burn mark in the middle of the carpet where someone has put a hot pan down. The desk has a burnt circle so has the windowsill. There is mould all around the window that won't come off.

The toilet seat is falling off, there was a leak under the bathroom sink. Cobwebs everywhere and she has no wardrobe. It's a cupboard with a hanging rail on wheels.

The kitchen had rotten food in the fridge and freezer. The oven had thick grease as did all the cupboards. One mum had already scrubbed that by the time we got there. I've scrubbed the rest of the kitchen. Water from the sink drainer pours into the cupboard underneath to.

So am I expecting too much? What can be done, if anything about the burn marks and mould.

I've had to buy more storage as there were no shelves due to no wardrobe, the other rooms have half hanging and shelves and this is supposed to be a premium plus room!

There is no room for a wardrobe either and she doesn't want to move flats.

She's cried and cried as she wasn't fussed on going anyway so this has made it worse and she doesn't want to stay.

Can I insist they sort it, and what would you do?

She's already wobbly, you get there and become disgusted, she panics. What you've inadvertantly done is reinforced her feelings that moving to Uni is a terrible idea, it's disgusting and she's not safe there and she should change her mind.

You need to get a hold of your own feelings, which are likely to be high at this point, and model calm assuredness until you're in the car driving home. These are easy fixes, not a cause for mass panic. Address the leak as a priority, mildew round an old window frames in this country isn't particularly uncommon, and it can be difficult to remove, but grab a bleach spray from the local supermarket and show her how to be resilient.

This is life. She will arrive in hotels that are shitholes, offices that aren't ideal, train carriages that turn her stomach. Model coping, show her that this isn't the end of the world, she already feels like it might be by the sound of it.

It's not covered in mould. There is some mouldy sealant. That's just cosmetic and easily fixed with a bit of bleach.

No, I wasn't lucky - I had friends in all kinds of accommodation from private ensuites to halls with seven to a kitchen and none of them dealt with anything like this.

Grease doesn't get caked on in a matter of hours - it takes weeks and weeks

Won't she be too drunk, hungover and wasted to care? Uni is suppose to be the roughest years of your life (or it was when I was growing up in the late 80s). Won't she have enough time to worry about coffee cup ring marks when she's 40 and has a semi in suburbia? Once the term starts and she has six people dossing in her room, candles & empty bottles littering most surfaces, and everything reeks of incense, while they alternate between drinking games, one night stands, and contemplating life deeper questions like are they living in a parallel universe or if anyone has ever got pregnant after an alien abduction probe... was Simone Weil, a hysterical obsessive compulsive, is free love really free today with the price of contraception, etc...

Have you asked her if she's bothered? Is she one of these influencer types that needs to project a luxury lifestyle, can't she fake it in an IKEA showroom like a lot of them do?

People on here are saying it's acceptable. In fact, I've just been told I was "lucky" to have clean accommodation to move into

I agree it'll be easier for her to just clean it, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't also complain and take photographic evidence.

I agree - I’d be letting them know what I was faced with, and that it wasn’t acceptable - but I’d rather clean it myself and move on with life than wait around getting stressed and annoyed for someone to come do it for me. It makes my life easier.

I disagree with most of the comments. She(you) is paying through the nose for this room. Basic pre tenancy cleaning, sorting mould and yes, replacing damaged carpets and sorting out burnt woodwork. They have had all summer to freshen up the place. Rents and therefore their profits,are exorbitant, they could at least make sure it lives up to the brochures.

Well as a family we have experienced many student halls- all like this.

Grease is grease. A few days of non cleaned grease turns grim very quickly.

@Charlize43 or she could lose her £400 deposit! And if you are paying £200+ a week for your accommodation you might want it more prestige and better equipped

I doubt it has been empty. Most universities run summer schools.

What’s your daughter doing apart from crying about it, and why is t she sorting this out herself?

🤣They’re cutting lecturers. Which unis have the cash to replace carpets and woodwork every year?

I’d reserve your anger for a sparse timetable due to fewer lecturers when you’re paying ££££ for the privilege.

The reality is cheap decent accommodation is scarce. They will have a waiting list of older students ready to snap up any halls accommodation which compared to the private sector is often so much preferable.

Well students services need to pull their finger out because if I was paying for a room like that I wouldn’t be happy. If this was a normal house and not student halls a landlord wouldn’t get away with it and MN would be outraged.

I’m sorry you experienced this but it’s not a race to the bottom.

Just because some people have an unpleasant experience in life doesn’t mean that others should too. OP’s DD does have choices - would you seek to take them from her because you didn’t?

The DD being upset/crying does suggest she is struggling with the transition but it’s a big leap to suggest she’s never had to do anything for herself. People are just wired differently. It’s not rocket science.

No one would be happy to have to do it. That’s not the point.

But you can be right, or you can be happy. Some things in life aren’t worth the battle. This isn’t worth the battle. Spend the afternoon getting it sorted and move on with life.

The sink needs to be fixed, meanwhile they put a bucket under it.

She records absolutely everything and emails pictures to whoever handles the accommodation. I hope you bought her some bleach for the mould - after you had photographed it.

Burn marks are not important but she shouldnt have to deal with uncleaned accommodation, broken glass and toilet and leaking sink. Draft an email for her if she wants help. Request a refund of part of the rent until broken items are fixed.

A landlord would very much get away with it.

I had 3 children at 3 different universities, Nottingham , Bristol and U E A and none of them ever entered a room in halls like the OP has described. All were very clean.

The thing is, I could rent a three bedroom house in my town for what my kid is paying for his uni room. It was different when I went in the 90s and it was £15 quid a week.

Universities are taking the mickey in some cases now. They all charge the maximum tuition fees but some places provide a much higher standard of teaching than others. The accommodation is all expensive but some of it is fantastic, and some is grim. If it was priced according to the standard you were getting that would be one thing, you could choose the level you could afford and accept that it might not be top quality, but it's frustrating that they're paying the same or very similar prices for this grotty offering as some one in a nice new ensuite room.

My thoughts exactly. What a waste of everyone's time and money.

It may be to treat them like adults, but not to treat them like they should just expect shit accommodation because they're 18.

I can only sympathise with you. I can well imagine just what was like. Last year my granddaughter came to uni in the UK as an international student only to be shown to a pigsty of a room. My daughter was with her and raised merry hell which meant her room was sorted out including being repainted 3 days later. It was a self contained studio and my daughter said kids who’d turned up with a parent were sorted out but kids who’d arrived alone were left to take the middens or leave it. Even the maintenance worker was embarrassed and said he’d warned the acting manager and acting assistant manager the rooms (they were about 18 and 20) were nowhere near ready for the students but I suspect they came from nothing and would have felt right at home in the dumps.

Never ever let your kids go to moving in day on their own even if you just live a few miles away. Take as many pictures as you can and threaten to go to the press if need be, and if there’s a few of you in the same boat then all the better.

This week it’s my grandsons turn to come to uni in the UK and my daughters already well prepared for the possibility of what might await them. She doesn’t take prisoners.

I actually think the reverse, sort out the broken and unsuitable things - like toilet seat, wardrobe and leak in the sink... there will be a uni facilities thingy for this.

Then buy a rug and some cushions to brighten up the room - and a mattress topper to make her comfy. I always take my own hoover to clean up dust and cobwebs as the uni ones are rubbish.

Lastly the communal areas, they should have been cleaned by Uni cleaners - most unis clean once a week in the kitchens. Check whats provided first.

Leave the burn marks for now.

I don’t agree with you. My daughter stood back and let my granddaughter deal with the midden she was given last year but had to step in when it became very obvious the fact she was an 18 year old 1000’s of miles away from home meant she was seen as someone the reception staff could just ignore, or fob off with one excuse after another.

The studio apartment was in one of those private uni accommodation buildings and cost a lot of money.

No way was it happening.

Hear hear!