To want to go back to work 3 days a week?

[Saladleaf]

Due to various pregnancy and maternity related discrimination issues I have had to resign from my job during mat leave. Flexi working was not an option and was 5 days in the office or nothing.

I have an 11 month old now and dream of being able to find a new job that allows me to balance being a present mum with the opportunity to continue a career I really enjoy plus bringing in more money than we have with me at home, which just covers bills and basics, no holidays clothes or extras.

I really want to go back 3 days a week but so far my search has only been met with slight smirks as if I’m asking for way too much and being told roles are full time only. Nothing comes up in my industry part time, very rarely.

Does anyone have any advice or positive experiences of finding a new job that’s 3 days a week? It feels like this is something granted to those already working for the company returning from maternity leave. I do feel very unsupported and a bit deflated after what has happened to me, I just really wish I hadn’t got this to worry about. If I can’t find a 3 days a week job I’ll have to go back full time which I have never wanted to do and will utterly resent. The alternative is being a SAHM which is both not for me, and means we can barely afford to live.

Part of the challenge is the work pattern the OP is after. I don’t need people in 8 hours a day. I do need people in at least 4 days. And i need people in in the morning, afternoons are less important.
I’m happy with someone working 20 hours over 5 days, ir even 16 hours over 4 days but i’m not considering somebody working 24 hours over 3 days.
Fast paced environments means that things that can wait 48 hours are rare (and the most desirable tasks!).
Jobshare won’t work as we would have to have a significant overlap to convey complex information , so paying twice.
We are generally happy for a ling established member if staff to do 3 days for a limited time (6 months max) after parental leave - but that means they get all the nice, desirable tasks, and the rest of us does firefighting. Fine as a temporary solution for someone we know, absolutely not acceptable for a new hire.

Try the civil service. They have a family friendly policy and lots of part time hours and term time working.

They’re making 10,000 roles redundant……..

But 24 hrs over three days might work for some employees? If it gets the work done that's all that matters, surely?

It's this complete rigidity that deters people from even applying for certain jobs with these attitudes.

The point is that in most businesses, it’s not just the hours it’s the days those hours cover that matters.

3 full days isn’t as useful coverage wise as 3 days worth of hours split over 5 days.

@user1476613140 if an employee works tuesday to thursday, and an issue arrises on thursday, it won’t be fixed until tuesday. That is way too late. You wouldn’t want your plumber to disappear for several days mid bathroom renovation, or your surgeon mid operation either. In our case nobody dies, but costs could easily go into 10s or 100s if thousands.
We can make 3 days possible for a limited period of time for someone we all respect (an established colleague), but definitely not for someone who isn’t proven yet.
I’m not telling my team that they have to do all the hard jobs so the new hire can do all the cushy ones. That would be ridiculously unfair.
its not about getting work done, its about getting work done on time.

It would surely depend on the nature of business but I take your points on board. Some I hadn't considered before 👍🏻

You could try compressed hours - so working 4 days in 3 each week or every other week by extending out your work days. If hubby also gets compressed hours on a different schedule, between you, you should only need childcare on 3 days a week.

You are more likely to find employers offering these types of roles.

You haven't said which industry, but Escape the City jobs board has more flexible posts typically on it.

Are you not entitled to funded childcare hours because your husband earns over £100k. Depending on how much over he earns it might be worth him dropping to 4 days of it takes his salary under £100k then you'd be entitled to the funding.

I did but it's low paid work and even then I just got lucky really that due to internal moves they had the hours I wanted when I wanted. It's not a 'career' job with prospects though. I'm sure you could find part time work but most advertised is low paid jobs.

I don't know what industry you are in, but I think you are unlikely to find a 5 day a week role where the employers are just happy to let you do 3 days. I can't see why anyone would just employ someone for less time than they wanted. You either need to hope that a part-time role comes along, or be willing to work full time.

Think hard before dismissing this idea. We both went to four days a week after our first child was born. At the time my DH earned significantly more than me. But because I maintained my career by not dropping to only three days, within five years I had secured two promotions and out earned him. At the same time he stayed a fairly high earner as well.

The fact that your husband earns way more than you is arguably a reason FOR him to drop, because you have further to go in terms of building your earning power.

I always think that three days a week is enough to maintain your current level but if you want any kind of progression, you need to be on four days. Which is why so many women get stuck - man stays full time because he earns more and couldn’t possibly drop his hours (even though all his female colleagues magically manage to…) while the woman goes to three days and promptly freezes at her current level and has no chance of progressing upwards. The situation compounds over the years until husband is streets ahead of the woman.

If you can cover bills this way in the immediate term, four days a week each is far more sensible in terms of the bigger picture. Also more tax efficient!

i do! Negotiated hard during my first Mat leave and secured a 3 day a week job in the public sector. NB: I do lots of evening work and now work an extra day each fortnight too, so it has increased.

my advice is apply for full and part time roles, knock their socks off at interview and then state your terms

I'm not in exactly the same position OP, but I have a similar dilemma. Like you, a 3 day working week is ideal, as I get to maximise time with DS whilst he is still little, whilst still keeping my hand in with my career. Luckily, I was able to negotiate 3 days after maternity leave. I completely understand why you would want this too.

However, I absolutely hate my job and have done since before TTC, so now feel very stuck, as like you, it feels impossible to find a decent 3 day a week job. I'm so torn, as moving jobs would make me so much happier work-wise, but I'd miss that extra day and four days in nursery seems like a lot at times when DS is so little.

I know our situations aren't the same (as I already have negotiated 3 days), but the following is worth considering:

• 11 months is still very young and still feels very much like a baby. Before you know it, DS will be a more independent toddler and the thought of sending him to childcare for 4 days won't won't seem nearly as gut-wrenching as it does now. DS also started nursery at 11 months.

• DS is now 20 months and LOVES nursery. He runs in with barely a backward glance. For me, this makes the thought of a fourth day less daunting than it did before. All my mum friends have said the same about their little ones.

• Loads of my mum friends do (or did) four days and they and their kids are absolutely fine. They make it work and they feel like it's a nice balance.

• Try and let go of the idea of the perfect set up in your head. Three days working seems perfect, but if that doesn't work, you need to ok with Plan B. Sadly, most employers advertising full-time won't consider 3 days, but a lot will say yes to 4. It's a question of working with what you've got in an imperfect world of recruitment.

I totally get it though, OP. It is very hard thinking about all this stuff when we're told so often to cherish every moment and that they're only so little for such a short time. Four days does seem a lot when it's not what you want. I would say apply for jobs and see what happens, which is also what I'm trying to do. It'll all work out in the end.

@Saladleafi think it is harder to train a new joiner who is 3 days per week, as opposed to full time. A lot of places can’t consider part time until you have passed your probation and then it is 4 days.

I decided to become a contractor to get round this issue. I work for small companies who don’t need the role full time. Sometimes I work a lot more hours and sometimes less. Even when you are part time you don’t necessarily always get to always be part time, you still have to meet a business need. At least as a contractor you get paid when you work over your part time hours. I actually didn’t get part time until my youngest was in Monti. Because before that I couldn’t get a part time childcare place at a good price.

It entirely depends on the role. For example, if this is retail or admin or nursing where you are processing or reacting to whatever is in front of you, job share works. If it's something more strategic or project based then it isn't feasible. There's no way you could do my role on a job share, the handovers would take up half the working week.

If I advertised a full time role and someone attended an interview and then disclosed that they couldn't do full time, they'd be instantly rejected. Doesn't matter how good you are, it's dishonest and arrogant. Neither of those are good traits in an employee. That's fucking awful advice!

@HoskinsChoice same for us. work can be shared, but not in a 3 full days/2 full days way. we would need to hire 3 days + 3 days, which doesn’t make financial sense.
We do have morning only people who share with a full time person for 1.5 FTE,

If someone would disclose to me after the interview that they only want to work 3 days, i would be beyond pissed off. 4 days, 4 compressed days, 4.5 days - fine. But 3???

I sympathise. I felt the same when my two were under a year. There’s a big difference between 11 months and 14-18 months so if you’re happy to live simply for a few more months, maybe remain a SAHM. If you do have to work four days down the line, you could use the extra income to get a cleaner so that the time you do have with your LO is not just spent on chores. There will still beg the endless washing and cooking but a bit less overall!! I understand the emotions but my two thrived at nursery and we are still friends with those families.

This is a lovely response and advice, thank you and hope you manage to work something out in your situation too. I just keep hoping I can find something 3 days or freelance until I have to consider plan B and considering all options but still have a few months to find something before the end of the year. I think it's hard to imagine my baby being a lot different in a few months but perhaps he will be and the idea of four days won't be so hard. It would be nice to break in with 3 for a few months though rather than both of us going 0-4 days in one go.

Well, if you can only get full time why can’t your DH ask to go down to 3 days a week instead?

Very true points however 5 mornings would cost ££££ in childcare and eat up what would be a part time salary. It's trying to balance however you can. I know I am a very good employee and would pick up work evenings/days off, I just need the flexibility to have those 3 core days as total commitment when I am able to balance childcare and my baby's needs. It's a shame potential employers dont see that talent comes in more forms than 5 days a week full time, and what someone more junior could do in 5 days a week, someone more senior but part time and grateful for the opportunity to work would be able to do in 3.

That’s an overly simplistic view though. My job involves an indepth knowledge of clients and detailed work on them that would be impossible to split between two people. Granted it’s easier in some jobs though.

Really good points. Have addressed with husband and he sounds less than enthusiastic - because he is 'unlikely to progress' or 'be seen as serious in his career' if he was to take 4 days or compressed. Interesting as I have basically had to accept just this... But if nothing 3 days comes up I will push for this especially as it would actually likely take us beneath the threshold so we'd save a lot on childcare.