To think people who say they’re “too busy” are usually just disorganised?

[PlainNavyHare]

The people who moan about being “so busy” never seem to actually get that much done. AIBU to think it’s just poor management dressed up as busyness?

Peak MN Saturday night content

No. YABU.

Some people are genuinely too busy. For others, it's just a welcome excuse for everything they don't want to do.

From a three random words username too obvs

Hahahaha. Oh that’s funny. Come try living my life.

Well as someone with, so far, unmedicated adhd, disorganisation feels like chronic, chaotic, overwhelm. I’m not dressing it up; I’m playing it down when I say I’m busy.

I don’t think it’s that simple.

I’m always ridiculously busy. Is it true that if someone/something is really important to me, I will make time? Yes.

However, making time to see a friend every week when there’s no particular problem/reason won’t be as much as a priority as getting that major work thing done/spending increasingly rare time with my kids/having a rare and precious evening to myself for the first time in a month.

Not making someone/something top priority doesn’t mean you don’t care.

No, I’m too busy. I work a full time job in a very senior role that often means I’m working 50-60 hours a week, and a often those hours are aligned to US timezone rather than U.K. so I’ll be on meetings well in to the evening. I also have a child who needs all the things every other child needs. DH also works full time and we have no family support.

Im remarkably well organised and very efficient. If im completely honest though, there are times I probably could find time to see someone or do an activity someone has asked me to do, but after a quick think I realise there are other ways I would prefer to use that time doing something I’d enjoy more so I tell them “Sorry, I can’t just too busy at the moment”, it seems more polite that saying “yes, I could but to be frank I’d prefer to spend a few hours laying in my hammock in the garden reading a book and recovering from dealing with twats all week.”

Or maybe they are, you know, busy.

My friend doesn't like people who rush around, saying their busy. My friend doesn't work, doesn't like cleaning, mostly pleases herself with her time. I've often thought her views a bit short sighted.

Well we don’t all do the same amount of work or have the same responsibilities, so no, I don’t think people who are busy are necessarily disorganised. What a ridiculously illogical thing to propose.

Yes, maybe we could suggest this tragic poster’s next few names. BigYellowTwit. TragicBlueBore. GoadyPurpleLoner.

Yep definitely. Most people are unaware of time spent doing nothing (phones/TV) too or they take ages to psych themselves up to do something.
I get loads more done than friends but I have no TV and like a checklist. Sat wasting time now though!

And? So what if they are disorganised? They are still busy. Sone explanation of why it affects you would make a more interesting post.

I took it as people who ‘say’ they’re so busy.

Like in a flappy way. Especially if they just chilled out and got on with it it’d get done?

YABU. I genuinely am busy and if I look like I’m not it’s because I’ve intentionally set aside some time for myself to do something like read the latest book by an author I like or watch a particular tv show. My wellbeing is just as important as any other chore that needs to be completed and my time management skills fit it all in.

Some years ago I remember a period of my life where I was juggling having a full-time job, being a lone parent to two early teenagers, doing a part-time master's, helping my elderly mother and trying to pretend I had some vague semblance of a social life. No matter how well I organised things I needed more hours in the day than were available to me. I had to ditch some stuff otherwise I would have failed at all of them.

Aye.

I am a person who is "too busy" for most things. I am one of those weirdly organised people, which helps hugely, because 14 hour days in work (with 12 days in work at a time) are normal for me, and I still need to eat, bathe and sleep in the remaining hours of my work days.

I imagine that the answer to your original question varies, depending on other people's jobs and family situations.

I do find it tedious when people moan about being busy. Like it’s a badge of honour or something. I work full time with 2 children and the normal life stuff but I don’t whinge about it.

Maybe they're just telling you they're too busy because they don't want to see you OP?

Someone has say fifteen hours of free time across the week.

Say they have already allotted 13 of those hours to commitments (some of which might be time set aside to recharge) and you want to do do something that takes 3hours.

Don't need to be a maths genius to work out 13+3=16. 16 is bigger than 15. So it doesn't fit.

so they say "too busy" because they don't want to cancel some of their 13 hours of other stuff to do your thing.

Maybe they're just not interested in what you're offering.

This. I’m aware that much of my life would be easier and I’d certainly have more time because I spend hours at a time looking for whatever thing I’ve lost today. It’s not a fun way to live!

I think it’s the opposite. Want something doing? Ask a busy person. It’s people who aren't busy who tend to be lazier / behind / not bothered. They have the time to faff.

No, being busy does not mean a person is disorganised. However, I think most people who complain about being "busy", generally, don't really grasp that most people they're talking to are also busy and also a lot of people who are busy choose to be that way.

It also depends on the context. If someone says they are "too busy" to do something, it often just means it's not a priority. If they are too busy to meet a friend, they probably are not that bothered about meeting up.

I had a friend who would said she was "too busy" to read (when I invited her to join our local book club) but I know she watched hours and hours of TV a week. She can do what she likes but the reason she isn't reading is because she wants to. She could have been making an excuse not to join book club which is also okay.