To think people who say they’re “too busy” are usually just disorganised?

[PlainNavyHare]

The people who moan about being “so busy” never seem to actually get that much done. AIBU to think it’s just poor management dressed up as busyness?

or we could take heed from the mostly true expression

want something done, ask a busy person

But so what if they are? That will make them too busy. You could see if you can help? (God I’d love some help!!)

I might be being polite about why I don’t want to spend time with somebody…

I’m organised as fuck and insanely busy. So YABU

Some people are actually very busy. I work on average 14 hour days and have a child doing GCSEs and volunteer so I struggle to get the stuff I need to do done.

Some people are disorganised.

Some people are busy and disorganised.

Some people get tired and have to pace themselves a bit in order not to get horribly burned out so they decline stuff tactically.

Some people use it as an excuse to avoid seeing people they don’t want to see.

Its a bit of a stretch to assume that everyone who says they are busy is lying though. Anyone who hasn’t lived under a rock for 40 years can work out that life with kids and a job is hectic.

Why not give people the benefit of the doubt?

Indeed or my personal take: want something done ask a working single mother.

No one needs it done fast and efficiently like them.

@MellowPinkDeersorry missed this as I was being busy 😜and said same thing, totally agree.

take a look at your local groups, parent council, football, school runs, whatever. Here, those that shout the loudest, do nothing. Those that do the most, are the busiest. Those that are absolutely busy, don’t do these things, and genuinely don’t have time to say they are busy

I agree too.

But I also think it’s either a personality or a mindset as it’s usually a type of person that is actually busy and can get a lot done, or a type that says they’re too busy irrespective of what they’re doing. Then obviously there’s people in between.

We are too busy being disorganised- so what?

I actually get what OP means. I used to work with a man who was always banging on about how busy he was. Would perpetually bounce confirmed meetings later in his agenda (when he was asking for my help!) because he was "slammed" etc.

I was spending a lot of my time helping him, but with hindsight, I genuinely think he was covering for a lack of ability but instead of asking for help to learn, just pretended he didn't have time. Last I heard, his boss had given him an option to leave or... Pride before a fall....

When my Dc were small I was always busy.
I was a single mum of 2. Had a full time job doing shift work, including weekends and nights. Plus there was always training to do. Some compulsory, some optional but helpful. I was also on the PTA, and volunteered in the community. Being a single parent I was solely responsible for all the housework, "life admin" and making sure DC were at their clubs.

OTOH when my mum asked me if I wanted to meet for coffee today and I said I was too busy, I meant I'd prefer to be at home reading.

Oh jog on OP with your neurotypicality

@PlainNavyHare I am guessing you have lots of time on your hands before you can start a thread about other people being too busy!

I think the people that always talk or “show off” about being busy usually are not and it’s more to do with the image they want to project. But there are many people who really are too busy and that is not just being disorganised. I am totally flailing at the moment - 3 kids, non stop work on multiple projects (I run a business), another charity project, a house that never seems clean, sick family members, etc. I literally never see my friends. Never get down time. And there are still not enough hours even when I have spreadsheets mapped out to the hour. But I never say this to people I do a breezy “oh yes all good here!” and just make my excuses when given invites.

I'm an incredibly organised person but also a lawyer (the organisation helps with that!). Definitely too busy and my to do list never ends.

If everyone is always saying to you they're too busy to meet up, maybe they're not the problem?

People can be genuinely busy and people can be doing bugger all and be ‘busy’. My retired parents drive me nuts saying how busy they are when they have basically gone out to the supermarket or a doctors appointment. My dad asked me to do a phone call for him and I was like “on that day I’m working 7 hours, doing multiple school runs and taking children to an evening activity. What are you doing?”
And the answer was some gardening.

You make time for things you really want to do generally.

It's an easier way of saying, "I don't want to."

I agree OP. Im very busy as a full time professional with young kids and heavily involved in running several groups and clubs, as well as managing to run and do sports and gym every week. Im super busy all the time. I have friends doing similar jobs and none of the other things who are too busy to step up onto the sports club committee. No they're not, they just dont want to, aren't organised enough or are just wired differently and dont realise that literally everything that happens is due to the hard work of people who are equally too busy (and busier)! Drives me nuts. Im proud to he busy, organised and fulfilled. I find many many people to be lazy and demotivated.

I think some people are genuinely busy whilst others aren’t.
Some people have far more help than others. Some people work a lot more hours than others. Some people do more.
Completely depends.
Sometimes busy people just want to relax and chill.

lol. You’ve clearly got an easy life.

I usually say I’m busy when I actually mean ‘I don’t want to’. After all, I don’t have to want to see you/ do you a favour

Well saying no I don't want to is considered rude, people don't accept a polite decline, so it's just a socially acceptable version of the two.

I work full time, I'm in the office full time and the commute isn't that short and the signal etc on trains is dire. My bum on seat work week is pretty reasonable but my hours out of the house are pretty long. Therefore everything is very organised - I'm a routine demon, keeps me on track -and my down time, my actual precious chore and admin and bloody person free down time isn't much.

So yes, I do resent claims on it and I am pretty "busy" overall- I think before I get involved with more stuff to do. I try to never say "busy" unless we really are and I always make time for friends and family but sometimes being sat online shopping infront of Midsomer Murders is taking care of myself and the first proper time I've had to myself/ a rest in a while and it's scarce. Protecting that time is important to me, too. If you see that bit you've seen a small % of my week.

‘Busy’ is highly subjective. So many things can lead to a busy lifestyle. Kids, work, relationships, hobbies, chores, DIY, holidays, socialising, caring duties, lack of support, health issues, appointments.

Your post is generalised to the extreme and impossible to answer.