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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Made a mistake at work but it feels deeper than that

2 replies

Bluemoonrising76 · 13/09/2025 12:19

I’ve been in a new internal role for about 18 months and have felt unsupported from the start — little to no training (others experienced this too), and my first manager, though nice, was largely absent and disengaged. The role itself is complex and takes years to fully learn, so I felt thrown in at the deep end.

Soon after starting, I had a family bereavement and took some sick leave due to stress (grief + lack of support). When I returned, my manager suddenly left for another internal role, which felt like the rug was pulled out from under my feet. I’ve also got long-term anxiety/depression, which management has been aware of.

Things improved a bit after I raised concerns with new senior manager and got on some training courses, but I still feel burned out, and there’s little room for development.

Right before some annual leave recently, I had a couple of quiet days and didn’t start any new cases (to avoid leaving things unfinished). My new manager knew and seemed fine. I ended up tying up loose ends and, admittedly, used some time to complete an internal job application. Not something I usually do during work hours — poor judgement on my part.
When I returned, my manager asked what I’d done on those days. I was honest and said I worked on the application. He was professional but firm — told me job applications should be done outside work hours and I'd need to make the time up. Which is fair enough, I apologised.

But since then, I’ve felt mortified and disheartened. I pride myself on my work ethic and have never been questioned like this before. While the manager wasn’t unfair, this feels like the culmination of 18 months of feeling unsupported and worn down.
I applied for the new role on a whim, but now I’m thinking maybe it’s time to move on properly.

OP posts:
CC222 · 13/09/2025 12:31

It doesn’t seem like you are happy in this role at all. I’m not sure moving to another role internally will change much, as the company culture will be the same across the board.
Finding a new job and starting over elsewhere doesn’t have to be a daunting thing. You’ve gained experience in your time there, so it’s been a stepping stone for your next move. But it seems like you’d thrive more in an environment where you are supported more and have more involvement with your growth and development in a role/company.
Consider what it is you actually want, and decide if this company can offer that to you. Then you will know your decision.
Good luck with your next move 🤞

CustardySergeant · 13/09/2025 12:46

Why have you started two threads about this, exactly one hour apart?
This is the one posted at 11.19 this morning https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5409736-ashamed-after-being-pulled-up-at-work-wwyd

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