So I've been married for almost 15 years me and my husband have kids together, generally have a happy marriage, the odd argument here and there but we are I would say in a good marriage. I've always been very involved with his family, they are very traditional in their views. We also spend alot of time there, some by choice but also because they run a business together so we are involved in each others daily lives.
My husband has one sister who is 10 years my senior and she recently got married. We've never really got on, she has a very strong personality but I've always kept it civil and havent ever really had any big fallout with her. My husband and her do not get on at all and rarely speak. She's gone through abit of a rough patch recently and had to have an operation which I was supportive over because as a women I do understand. The day after her op I saw her husband at a family event and asked how she was getting on to which he told me she was really struggling mentally to come to terms with things so I suggested maybe seeing a councellor (I sent him a link for a specific faith based place in our area while he stood next to me) once he left the venue he then sent me a message to say thanks for the link, please can you not let sil know we've spoken about this or you know how she is as when I go see her it's better for her to explain rather than me saying I already know everything. So I messaged back saying okay no problem with a closed zip emoji and that was literally all.
Once she's come home a few days later (I did go see her with her nieces and nephews, with a bouquet and some chocs-all was pleasant) she's gone through his phone for whatever reason she had and has seen this message. She's then proceeded to call every member of my in laws including her mum and dad, my husband, her brothers and my other sils that I have been messaging her husband with no context or any evidence at all just that weve been messaging while I'm at work so I have no idea what's being said. My in laws then confirm that yes we were speaking at said event (my husband was not there that day he had to go somewhere so just me and the kids went). Then when I leave work my mil has called me and said can I go over as she has something very serious to talk to me about, I decline as I've just finished work and need to get home to my kids and I will come later when I'm free. My husband then calls me and says go straight home do not go to mils or answer anyone's phone and hell speak to me when I'm home. So obviously now I'm confused as to what's been going on. Tbf to my DH he was relatively calm when he asked had I been messaging my bil... And I was like no I haven't but heres my phone if you don't believe me and he said nope I believe you I just need to know what was said or what's going on so I explained and went to show him the messages and he really was very shocked that she's made a fuss over this as he thought we'd had some back and forth convo. BTW she has form for this and has done something similar before (not to me). He's then said to me he's spent the day defending me to his family and I've completely lost it at him at this point saying I'm done with his family and that they should have supported me as they all know me very well and not even entertained or enabled his sisters behaviour and if anything she should have confronted her husband and it should have had nothing to do with me.
It's now been a week and i called his family that day when I found out what she was accusing me of and basically told them all to piss off but honestly I am done with his whole family this was one of many things and I just can't believe they would even entertain that nonsense. They all know what I'm like. I just feel really down like I've given them my life for the last 15 years and not one of them stood up for me. It's really resurfaced alot of emotions and all the stuff that I've always let go for the sake of keeping peace but this time I can't shake off the feeling.