I don’t think I belong

[Ihateeverything]

Just that really
I spend my days pretending
aibu of course you do, every one does
urnbu you don’t belong

I've felt it all my life OP.
I describe it as feeling everyone else is part of a big club which I'm not a member of.
I got a very late diagnosis that I'm Autistic and that has helped me come to terms with being an outsider to some extent.
Are you ND as well OP? Or do you think you might be?

I don’t know, I don’t think I am. I have a bid family, children etc… I hold down a good job. Yet don’t feel like I fit. I don’t seem to relate to anyone

@Rightandwrong maybe we could start our own club?

What makes you think everyone doesn’t feel similarly?

With respect OP do you want to belong?
Once you get to a certain age, this will no longer matter. It's so liberating.
Embrace yourself fully, all your quirks and awkwardness, love it all.
Love the fact you don't belong and be thankful for it.

I dont belong either & I do not care as my family & children accept me for myself. So should you.

@SquaredPaper ive never asked! I suppose I never will. I thought it was just me not belonging to anything

I don’t feel like I belong either. I often feel like everybody else has been given a manual on how to fit in and live life and I haven’t!

I think when you try to belong you can’t, I think when you just relax and be yourself at least you’ll be comfortable and then it won’t matter so either will or won’t happen but you won’t care! X

@Runlikesomeoneleftgateopen

I do embrace myself for what I am. But the children are leaving, as they should, What if something happens to my gorgeous DH? I’m realising I have no one.
Im not sure where I sit with this. Of course I have a superficial a friend or two….. The reality is that my career won’t carry me forever…..
Maybe I should just garden

I totally agree, part of me just worries about when they’re all ‘gone’

I was perfectly happy with my husband. He got me. He’s gone now, so there’s no one. I have never found anyone who is like me. Not in the really important sense.

I guess when they’re all living their own independent lives I really won’t have to pretend to fit in to anywhere anymore….. then what…. ???
Im not sure ….,
i guess I’m just over thinking

I hope you’re ok. I feel for you.
This is exactly what I mean. I get you…..

@stayathomer

the problem is, if I relax, I feel like a fish out of water
No one gets me

@Vghgdsfdx
exactly
I don’t’fit’ anywhere

But if you were relaxed, then you wouldn’t be thinking about what other people think if you know what I mean?( not trying to be difficult I promise!!)

@Vghgdsfdx
im not sure if thats good or bad.
ate those that ‘fit’’ genuine? Or kidding themselves?

@stayathomer when I’m ‘relaxed’ and being myself, you’re correct, I ok. But I’ve seen people roll their eyes at me!!
When I’m on my best behaviour there is definitely a different response. Over the years I’ve learnt to play the game.
I’m obviously just weird

If you ‘fit’ with your husband, there’s no reason why you can’t find other people to fit with, surely.

@SquaredPaper of course you’re right.
But the reality is that it’s hard. If it was easy, I’d have found my people and managed to stopped pretending to be someone I’m not by now

Feeling different and like you don’t belong can be a sign of autism

Make be, but I’m too old for a diagnosis to make any difference

I feel like you. I have never really found my people. I have two kids that are all grown and have left home then my DH died. At first it was really scary, being all alone but now I quite like it, I like closing the door behind me and shutting out the world. I like that there is no-one else to see when I eat utter shit for dinner or go to bed at 7.30 just because I want to. I can't see a point at which I would ever want to live with another adult again. If it happens to you, you might find it is not as bad as you think it will be.

Sure, I get this. That feeling got a bit much and end of last year I ended up getting a late ASD diagnosis like others who have replied. I’d say I now feel much better about it, able to cope with feeling weird, pretty content with the wider life of friends I have after months of therapy and coaching. The close ones get me far better than I had realised (and vice versa!). Work colleagues will never get me and I’ve found a bit of peace with that. Today I feel super weird because I’m out of my commuting routine but at least I know why!!

Have you thought about what might be sitting at the root of the feeling for you? If you are feeling discombobulated or disassociating as part of the weird that can also be a sign of extremely high anxiety.