DH eager to be proven right

[Puel]

I have health anxiety and so obviously I can be a little paranoid about my health. DH gets furious at me saying I’m wasting GPs time etc and everytime I’m waiting for results (for genuine diagnosed health issues) he sits there waiting to be proven right that it’s all in my head.

I had some bloods taken yesterday, partly to check on my anaemia but also to check for coeliac disease. DH is eagerly awaiting the results so he can throw it in my face that I’m wasting Dr time. I have actually been diagnosed with chronic anaemia with no indication of why. DH says when thundercracker 6 comes back he wants me to admit that it’s all in my head.

I admit I have health anxiety but telling me not to be anxious is like telling an arachnophobiac to not be scared of spiders. AIBU to simply stop talking to him about any health issues I may or may not have as he clearly can’t bring himself to be supportive or understanding

Sorry you are having health issues... I do know one way to massively improve your mh.
Ltb and don't look back.

Is it health anxiety or do you know something isn't quite right? I felt unwell for years, it was blamed on lots of things, mostly anxiety/IBS. Always negative for coeliac for 15 years until last year! Awaiting endoscopy now but looks very likely.

He is being a dick.

What's he doing to actually help you?

Can you have therapy?

He's behaving like a dick and handling your anxiety very badly. Maybe he's trying to help but just going about a horribly wrong way.

At the same time, there may be some truth in you taking up NHS time unnecessarily. As others have said, if you're not already, get some help. Helping yourself might help your relationship.

hes being a cunt

Hes being a dick. I was very unwell for years, had problems with my joints dislocating, long hostipal admissions & had tremors etc nothing came back till one day I got a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome and other things. Took them over a decade to work out what was wrong.

What does ‘thundercracker 6’ mean?

Tell him you have been diagnosed with 'Your Partner is an arsehole' syndrome. A very real and disgusting ailment for which you have your Dr's greatest sympathy.

My Ex was like this. He called me a hypochondriac despite me having evidence of my autoimmune disease. BUT if HE was ill, the whole world had to stop.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would either tell him my GP has said I need to loose weight, about 90 kilos (whatever he weighs) as it’s dragging me down.

All my bloods came back normal - I’m not even anaemic anymore. (Just waiting for coeliac result now but considering I’m not anaemic now that will probably come back normal too). Maybe I do need counselling

Are you sure that the health anxiety is not a symptom of a wider psychological issue being caused by close proximity to someone making you feel stupid, unstable, paranoid etc.?

Is your health anxiety about one particular thing that is ongoing but undiagnosed, or more widespread?

Widespread including OCD and intrusive thoughts

Living with someone with Health Anxiety, OCD, Intrusive thoughts etc, must be really exhausting.

I’m not defending his behaviour, and I’m mindful that we have your side of this situation only.

He need to learn his best to support you, at the moment he’s hoping that by continually pointing out “there’s nothing wrong with you”, all of this goes away (it doesn’t)

He needs to learn how to support you, without enabling you. You need to get some therapy .. if you can.

So your DH is right?

Living with someone with Health Anxiety, OCD, Intrusive thoughts etc, must be really exhausting.
I’m not defending his behaviour, and I’m mindful that we have your side of this situation only.

This is what I was going to say too. Hopefully now your results are normal you can relax a little and definitely try and get some therapy for it, anxiety is really debilitating.

My exH was exactly the same, note the EX. Turns out I had congenital hip dysplasia that had never been picked up as a child and needed two hip replacements and metal plates in my pelvis at a fairly young age to fix it.
He used to whinge and complain about me not being able to keep up with him on long walks. Arsehole, he's gone now.

I was wondering this too. Anyone know?

@Puel my adult DD has health anxiety and whilst I feel for her, it is exhausting - constant texting and bombarding me with questions about what she thinks could be cancer/MS/heart attack etc. I try to reassure her but it’s impossible as her anxiety takes over. I’ve suggested therapy for it but she then says I don’t believe her about her symptoms or I’m not supportive.

I hope you can get help to free you from your anxiety. Also - I would say your DH is being a bit of a dick but maybe he’s reached the end of his tether with it?

Maybe you need private blood tests to get to the bottom of whats wrong. NHS “normal” is not optimal health

Check the actually number as there is a difference between it been optimal and in range.

What were the actual results? Nhs normal is not optimal for example ferritin needs to be at least 70 for hair growth etc but gp will mark it normal at 20.

I used to share a house with someone who had (self diagnosed) health anxiety, as well as many other self diagnosed conditions. She was lovely otherwise. But my God, living with her hearing the endless worry over every slight ailment was torture.
Not saying that's you, and if you're genuinely ill and worried then you're not wasting the GPs tim. If you are not like her then your DH should be supporting you, if you are and it's your utter focus and all you can seem to think and talk about then maybe focus on trying to treat the health anxiety.

Ferritin is 15 🤦‍♀️

Then that is still way too low. You should still be taking ferrous sulphate or fumerate every other day with vit C and avoiding caffeine/dairy for at least an hour either side. Even the NICE guidelines stipulate it should be at least 30 and anything under is indicative of deficiency.