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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we need to learn how to debate again

138 replies

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 11/09/2025 11:58

There is ever decreasing tolerance for people with different views, People think they have the moral high ground and that their views are the only ones which matter.

This view is endorsed in schools, the work place, the Media (even the BBC has stopped any effort to be unbiased). The more intolerant we are the wider the divide is becoming.

Schools need to be teaching kids to debate, it needs to be part of the national curriculum, schools need to welcome all views equally and discuss them.

Universities and work places need to stop censorship of views.

It is largely the far Left who seem to dislike reasoned debate.

If we taught people how to explain, how to listen to alternative perspectives the world would be much better

OP posts:
LeonMccogh · 11/09/2025 13:29

Some people really are just wrong and ignorant though, and it does them no harm to be firmly told as much.

FirstCuppa · 11/09/2025 13:30

LeonMccogh · 11/09/2025 13:29

Some people really are just wrong and ignorant though, and it does them no harm to be firmly told as much.

"Go read a book" would work well here too

noblegiraffe · 11/09/2025 13:34

I think your ‘purposely placed point’ is in particularly poor taste today, and if you wanted a debate you should have chosen a different topic.

Papyrophile · 11/09/2025 13:40

If you were to suggest that those on the 'left' want to be regarded as open-minded, egalitarian and want people generally to be treated the same, that would be consistent with my perspective. Should I retort that the MN left-leaners are pious, virtue-signalling idealists who are doomed to make excuses for the incompetent and idle, then I would be rude and insulting.

If I suggest that I would tend to regard more right wing views as being pragmatic and effective, but perhaps at the expense of condemning the weaker individual members of society to poverty, you might not disagree. You are then free to call me a cynical capitalist and hard-hearted.

It depends whether you want an efficient productive economy that will favour the brave, intelligent and hard-working, or one which swoops in to protect the vulnerable from their frailties.

None of the above begins to consider that there is always a spectrum of opinion, proven facts and unfounded beliefs, and that all of us are prone to deficiencies of knowledge and limited understanding.

FirstCuppa · 11/09/2025 13:49

Papyrophile · 11/09/2025 13:40

If you were to suggest that those on the 'left' want to be regarded as open-minded, egalitarian and want people generally to be treated the same, that would be consistent with my perspective. Should I retort that the MN left-leaners are pious, virtue-signalling idealists who are doomed to make excuses for the incompetent and idle, then I would be rude and insulting.

If I suggest that I would tend to regard more right wing views as being pragmatic and effective, but perhaps at the expense of condemning the weaker individual members of society to poverty, you might not disagree. You are then free to call me a cynical capitalist and hard-hearted.

It depends whether you want an efficient productive economy that will favour the brave, intelligent and hard-working, or one which swoops in to protect the vulnerable from their frailties.

None of the above begins to consider that there is always a spectrum of opinion, proven facts and unfounded beliefs, and that all of us are prone to deficiencies of knowledge and limited understanding.

Yet the circle of life does dictate that we all become frail with vulnerabilities...so there are some relative certainties. Sadly these do not always become apparent until people recognise their own mortality. Everyone prioritises different things at different points of life, because they matter more to them in that moment. Having the ability to keep an open mind and think of other people's situations is therefore part of a functioning society. Empathy is key. We are only as good as how we look after the weakest in our society.

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 13:52

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 11/09/2025 11:58

There is ever decreasing tolerance for people with different views, People think they have the moral high ground and that their views are the only ones which matter.

This view is endorsed in schools, the work place, the Media (even the BBC has stopped any effort to be unbiased). The more intolerant we are the wider the divide is becoming.

Schools need to be teaching kids to debate, it needs to be part of the national curriculum, schools need to welcome all views equally and discuss them.

Universities and work places need to stop censorship of views.

It is largely the far Left who seem to dislike reasoned debate.

If we taught people how to explain, how to listen to alternative perspectives the world would be much better

I agree with you but I literally don’t know who you mean when you say far left. I don’t think we have any communists do we ? I do think people should indeed listen a bit more and perhaps find some common ground rather than creating labels for people and expecting them to act as a pack.

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 13:54

octaviaduarte · 11/09/2025 12:11

The left scare me so much. They seem to want so much authoritarianism and a complete clampdown on any kind of dissent or alternative view.

who are these left of which you speak?

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 13:57

FirstCuppa · 11/09/2025 13:27

I don't know about your DC but mine are always encouraged to debate at school. They do theology which is great for it, have wellbeing lessons and tutor room time, loads of speaking clubs for various subjects.
The average teen would rather grunt but it doesn't mean they aren't actively encouraged to debate; it's largely what History and English teaches for GCSE.

I actually think it is a "people who don't read" thing - I posted elsewhere but reading teaches empathy. As we age we do less of it and therefore seeing someone else's pov becomes harder and very black and white as we ignore the grey areas. We need to improve national literacy IMO (esp in men and boys).

Edited

yep education matters. My DS who did not get a good education (ADHD and self sabotage for various reasons) is very easily influenced by social media, Tommy Robinson etc. Because they are persuasive and appeal to his demographic he believes them

Jumpingthruhoops · 11/09/2025 13:58

ComfortFoodCafe · 11/09/2025 12:04

All going well till you blamed the left.
its not left, right, centre people its just people in general.

It IS mostly the left. Tell us one thing that the right get offended about - that is of course routed in fact not ideology?

FirstCuppa · 11/09/2025 13:59

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 13:57

yep education matters. My DS who did not get a good education (ADHD and self sabotage for various reasons) is very easily influenced by social media, Tommy Robinson etc. Because they are persuasive and appeal to his demographic he believes them

Yes education does matter - but even if they hate school, fostering a love of reading really does keep other people's stories open to them. Echo chambers can only flourish if people keep clicking and adding hate to them. The more time people use to do this the less they spend reading and broadening their empathy. It's why people used to travel too but that seems to now be to take selfies and be a consumer.

octaviaduarte · 11/09/2025 14:00

LarkspurLane · 11/09/2025 12:31

Who do you think are the far left?

You mention media, schools, etc in your post. Do you think the BBC represents the far left?

Yes.

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 14:01

Jumpingthruhoops · 11/09/2025 13:58

It IS mostly the left. Tell us one thing that the right get offended about - that is of course routed in fact not ideology?

that is not the left. that is a group of individuals. Agree that within the left there have always been some loony lefties just like there have always been some fascists on the right - but that’s not the whole caboodle on either side.

Appalonia · 11/09/2025 14:01

NRTFT, but if you are interested in genuine debate and the exchange of Ideas I'd highly recommend The Battle of Ideas conference in London in October. I've been the last few years and to me it felt very hopeful and refreshing to see respectful, good natured debate going on. There's panellists from across the political spectrum, lots of topics covered and a lot of time for audience contributions. Here's the link.

www.battleofideas.org.uk/

octaviaduarte · 11/09/2025 14:01

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 13:54

who are these left of which you speak?

The kind of people who think Glinner should have been arrested (and silenced) for tweets.

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 14:02

octaviaduarte · 11/09/2025 14:00

Yes.

that is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen today. Most people left of centre are castigating the BBC for its love of NF and his merry band

FirstCuppa · 11/09/2025 14:02

octaviaduarte · 11/09/2025 14:01

The kind of people who think Glinner should have been arrested (and silenced) for tweets.

The Trans?

BadgernTheGarden · 11/09/2025 14:04

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 11/09/2025 11:58

There is ever decreasing tolerance for people with different views, People think they have the moral high ground and that their views are the only ones which matter.

This view is endorsed in schools, the work place, the Media (even the BBC has stopped any effort to be unbiased). The more intolerant we are the wider the divide is becoming.

Schools need to be teaching kids to debate, it needs to be part of the national curriculum, schools need to welcome all views equally and discuss them.

Universities and work places need to stop censorship of views.

It is largely the far Left who seem to dislike reasoned debate.

If we taught people how to explain, how to listen to alternative perspectives the world would be much better

You obviously think you have the high ground on this and no debate is possible. You have decided what the current state of things is presenting no evidence and saying it as if it's fact, the opposite of starting a debate. It's all just your opinion.

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 14:04

octaviaduarte · 11/09/2025 14:01

The kind of people who think Glinner should have been arrested (and silenced) for tweets.

Most people haven’t even heard of Glinner- he is a complete weirdo and his weird tweets should certainly be curtailed. As actually should many others’

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 14:07

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 14:04

Most people haven’t even heard of Glinner- he is a complete weirdo and his weird tweets should certainly be curtailed. As actually should many others’

PS you might say that makes me a leftie but I would say no - let’s just not allow this violent horrible broadcasting in our society. And Mary Whitehouse would have agreed and she certainly wasn’t a lefty!

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 11/09/2025 14:08

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 11/09/2025 13:10

What about, say, libel or defamation? Or the classic "shouting 'fire' in a theatre"?

And do you see a distinction between a government doing things to limit free speech, and a privately-owned platform?

I think there is a difference between a government limiting free speech and a private platform to me some extent, ultimately government power lies with the people. So if the people think they have overstepped the mark you can get rid of them.

A private platform doesn’t have the same level of accountability and can be more easily swayed by sinister influences through economics or just the politics of its owner.

Defamation and libel relies on what is being said is untrue. The onus is then on the individual not to lie.

OP posts:
MyHeartyCoralSnail · 11/09/2025 14:10

BadgernTheGarden · 11/09/2025 14:04

You obviously think you have the high ground on this and no debate is possible. You have decided what the current state of things is presenting no evidence and saying it as if it's fact, the opposite of starting a debate. It's all just your opinion.

Actually that is precisely how a debate is started. A motion is put forward for debate.

OP posts:
Underthinker · 11/09/2025 14:28

Fleetheart · 11/09/2025 14:07

PS you might say that makes me a leftie but I would say no - let’s just not allow this violent horrible broadcasting in our society. And Mary Whitehouse would have agreed and she certainly wasn’t a lefty!

To answer a few of your questions, far left could mean a few things today. The traditional meaning would be communism or pure socialism & you're right there are only a small number of those around. Increasingly though, when we talk of left vs right it is social and ethical issues that come to the fore, and our views on trans rights, gaza, abortion etc that others will use to bracket us somewhere from far left to far right.

I have to say, left or right, you do seem to have authoritarian leanings.

flipflopflyer · 11/09/2025 14:30

Debate has become just another game. It's a competition where someone has to win and someone has to lose. As if to underscore that point, you have placed a deliberate provocation in your original post. A clever bit of gameplay maybe, but it has made other readers distrustful of your intentions.

We need genuine dialogue, not debate.

MoFadaCromulent · 11/09/2025 14:33

"There is ever decreasing tolerance for people with different views, People think they have the moral high ground and that their views are the only ones which matter.

And it's the lefts fault"

FFS the op can't even get past the first post without going down tribal lines

Dweetfidilove · 11/09/2025 14:33

Healthy debate is absolutely vital, and it's for that reason I must disagree with this...

It is largely the far Left who seem to dislike reasoned debate.

Whenever I try to have a conversation with the Far Right - they tend to clam up.
They are very good at shouting about all sorts of curtailment to freedom and that everyone is playing a game of 'see no evil, speak no evil'; but when you open the floor to them, they go mute 🤷🏾‍♀️.

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