Can’t stop crying day 4 post partum

[custardcreams6]

I am day 4 post partum, I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy in the early hours of Saturday morning. His birth went so smoothly and I had no stitches, just grazes etc.

We have a 2 year old DD too.

DH is amazing, he’s such a supportive and caring/kind Husband and Dad and we are a great team, we are also really lucky to have great family and friends as a support system.

Today, I woke up like a black cloud was over me and it’s followed me around all day. I feel sick with guilt towards DD although nothing in her routine has changed, obviously things have changed for her too but I mean we’re still following her normal routine, normal bedtimes (I lay in her bed with her and read her a story then cuddles and lights out etc), I’m still here for a cuddle or to play with etc, I feel sick with guilt towards DS as I don’t/can’t just sit around and cuddle him most of the day like I did with DD because I want to give DD attention when he’s sleeping (light activities such as colouring, reading, cuddling and watching some tv together, puzzles etc). I feel sick at the thought of DH being back at work after 2 weeks, I’m already dreading it.

I haven’t stopped crying all day, anyone would think my world had ended but I feel like all my dreams have come true being blessed with 2 healthy beautiful children, a lovely Husband and home. I can’t make sense of why I feel so awful at all. Nothing makes sense to me today, I don’t know how I can feel so much love and joy yet be so distressed and sad and guilty. I can’t even seem to put a sentence together and keep mumbling to DH and mixing up my words. I can’t even say I’ve had no sleep as DS is sleeping 3 hours between feeds and DH did the 12, 3 and 6am feeds last night and I got up at 7:45 when DD woke.

I didn’t get this with DD, please somebody tell me I’ll feel better soon?!

It's called the baby blues @custardcreams6. Don't worry you will be fine . It's from a sudden drop in hormones bless you .

I promise you that this will get better. I wish I could give you a timeline, but I promise things will not always be like this.

Is your daughter closer to 2 or closer to 3?

You will feel better soon OP. It's called the baby blues. It's just your body adjusting to the change in hormone levels and lack of sleep. If you don't feel better soon go to your GP. This will pass though. Try and get some rest now and put the phone down. Sending lots of love. Growing tiny humans, birthing them and looking after them is truly exhausting. 🩷

I got it with both of mine, the midwives warned me before I left the hosp I'm sure they said there is a huge hormone spike or drop around this time thst causes it, all medical and expected (not nice though) it should pass, but if it doesn't please speak to someone sooner rather than later?

Bless you - it’s crap but yes it’s the baby blues. Don’t let it go on too long in case it is post natal depression but you are in the typical time for the hormone drop which feels horrible.

Congratulations on your lovely family.

@YankSplaining she is May born so very almost 2 and 4 months.

@MaryGreenhill@DollydaydreamTheThird@Didnotseethiscoming25@Libre2 thank you, I already take Citalopram for depression which is and has been under control for a good few years now so I will keep an eye on how long it lasts. X

Very normal sweetheart, it’s your hormones going haywire and your milk coming in.

Get as much rest as you can; it will pass. If it doesn’t, tell your health visitor and your GP.

I wanted to add that all those guilty feelings and worry about ruining everything are very normal when number two comes along. Its an adjustment and you and your all need time to adjust to the new dynamic. It will pass.

When I had my second daughter (second baby), I felt like I was depriving my older daughter of being an only child. I felt like I’d ruined our relationship by having another baby, and I couldn’t give either child what they deserved. It wasn’t true, and although things definitely became different, they weren’t worse. Hang in there.

Well you have done well to last to day 4 as I understand day 3 is the day the tears start.
Don’t worry love this too shall pass.

I remember this feeling. It was awful. I felt so alone, scared, depressed. Couldn’t stop crying even though my dream had come true of having a baby after 5 years of fertility treatment and IVF. I thought it would never end but it did.
I do wish I had better support at the time. Do you have people you can talk to? It will pass but I know it’s incredibly hard.

Congratulations on your new baby and try not to worry too much, these feelings are perfectly normal and will pass.
I had the exact same on day 3 or 4 with both of mine. I was still in hospital with my first and remember absolutely sobbing my heart out to the poor midwife who reassured me it was perfectly normal, due to hormones and milk coming in and brought me a cuppa and a biscuit and let me sob! I did feel quite overwhelmed for the first 2 weeks or so looking back but it definitely did pass. With my second, it was literally the one day and then it lifted again as quickly as it came.
Hang on in there and remember you’re doing an amazing job with both of your babies.

Sounds like you have the baby blues..it’s horrible as it catches you off guard .I’m 1 month postpartum with my second child and I went through this phase around day 5 PP too but I was expecting it as I had the same with my first DS.

This second time only lasted 3-4 days but I remember my first one taking a couple of weeks - I was a blubbering mess everyday. Just know that it’ll pass abs it’s your hormones trying to go regulate back to pre-pregnancy levels. I still get the guilt but I know once we find our routine, things will flow better! Hang in there mama

In amongst all the crap that's going on in the world, bless your beautiful new baby - and mother, of course x ❤️

Congratulations on your lovely family. I got this with DD but strangely not with DS. I didn't find out the gender with DD and I was convinced she was going to be a boy. When the blues hit I cried for hours about the fact I'd brought a little girl into a world that had Donald Trump in. So I cried for hours over Donald Bloody Trump. This was around the " grab her by the p*y" stuff time. Fuck sake. I got over it after a few hours.

Im mentally very strong but the drop in hormones even took me out. I was so mean to my husband.
I felt guilty for not wanting to be pawed over by my toddler and guilty for ignoring my newborn. It gets easier but if you have a history of depression then do seek help.

Ahh I’m sorry you’re having a bad time. I have a 2.5 year old and had my second baby nearly 4 weeks ago and can 100% relate. I felt great for a few days and then suddenly around day 4 or 5 I just couldn’t stop crying. It lasted a couple of days and then has got better - I am still very emotional and do still cry, but it’s different to the intense blue mood I felt at first.
I think everything you’ve said is normal - especially the guilt. I get upset when I think about how my toddler no longer gets my attention. We used to have so much fun and now I’m stuck on the sofa feeding the baby and can’t play with him or do the fun outings we used to do, so then I cry a bit. And then sometimes he is just so sweet and kind and that also makes me cry! You’ll probably find that you do start feeling better but you may still cry at little things - the hormones are crazy for a while aren’t they!
Make sure you tell your Health visitor how you’re feeling though. They say that baby blues can last two weeks, but if you’re really down or it lasts longer then to let someone know. My husband actually called our HV and asked them to come and see me as the sadness and crying had gone on longer than he felt was ‘normal’ baby blues (I did get help from the maternal mental health team after my first birth, so he was able to recognise that I might need extra support this time round too). Our HV has referred me to the mental health team again, just to be sure I’m getting all the help I can, even if I feel better. And she’s been to see us a couple of extra times to also check on me and offer some advice etc. So I really encourage you to be super honest about how you feel and how long you feel like it for.
Everything you’ve said you feel is normal, but please make sure you reach out for help if you’re struggling, so you can avoid it developing into anything further.

Its completely normal its the sudden change in hormones with the placenta going and progesterone having a sharp fall. :)

I went through the same with both of mine. Every night for two weeks I cried starting at 7pm. Your body just went through something amazing but traumatic. Your hormones are going crazy and your life has changed. It will be okay. Give yourself some grace and cry if you need to. A few weeks on and it got better like a fog lifted. It will be better and you will feel better soon. Hang in there OP ♥️

Congratulations on your new addition.

As others have said, it’s totally normal. My health visitor came over on day 4 and I sobbed and sobbed, whilst promising her I was a good mum really and didn’t know why I was crying. She gave me a hug and said most her mums cry around this time, and it was hormones and milk coming in and it would all settle. DS is 13 now and I’m still an emotional wreck, but she was right and the crying does stop I promise!

I had quite severe pnd with my DS (mainly caused by my ex) but at the beginning my Dr said it wasn't me it was my hormones.

It's not you, it's your hormones and although it's horrific it will pass. You've made and birthed another human!

Dont worry its pretty normal - it is continues def speak to someone.

Lean into the crying it can be good for you as one of the ways the body gets rid of excess hormones is through tears- its why you often feel better after crying!

Congrats on your baby!!!!

This is so normal when your hormones have changed so much and your exhausted it will pass x

My second was a lot worse for baby blues then first. I got home after 3 days in hospital after her birth and I just cried . I didnt have any major reason why . At the time I thought the feelings would never stop.
Its a really hard time.
Dont put to much pressure on yourself. You are doing a great job.