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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have DH’s dinner waiting on the table

29 replies

SoftPillow · 10/09/2025 20:32

My DH works a commute away and always comes home at 7.30pm earliest. I get home at 6.30pm if I’m at the office, as I did today.

His train was delayed, he told me to eat earlier. I ate with the kids, tidied up, prepped his dinner so the main part was cooked and waiting for him in the oven, then did bedtime, uniforms, school bags. All the usual shit I do every day.

I get downstairs about 30 secs before he gets home. I say your dinner is ready and in the oven, and he gets huffy that I haven’t prepped his salad.

‘I’d have done it for you’ he said. Well no, because you are never home before me, but if you were you’d be doing all the shit stuff I’d mentioned above.

I explained I’d been doing bedtime and that the entire household routine didn’t revolve around his arrival and needs for lettuce. He said that he was ‘disappointed’ that it wasn’t ready for him.

So I’ve come to Mumsnet as the sight of him mournfully making his salad makes me want to find a spade and a patio (perhaps exaggerating) AIBU not to have his salad prepared?

OP posts:
ForeverPombear · 10/09/2025 20:34

You need to find a spade and dig up your patio.

He's bloody lucky you sorted most of his dinner anyway, if he was a single man living on his own he'd have had to do it himself.

Rosesanddaffs · 10/09/2025 20:35

I’ll help you dig the patio.

Incase he’s forgotten you’ve been working too and doing all the other shit xx

outerspacepotato · 10/09/2025 20:36

He'd be scrounging his own dinner every night with that attitude. You work too but he expects his dinner prepped and ready to eat on the table.

Dude. Bad dude. Spray him with the water bottle next time he pops out that 50s bullshit.

FairFuming · 10/09/2025 20:36

No you aren't unreasonable. It takes a minute to make a quick side salad and he had most of his supper ready waiting. If this is unusual behaviour for him then maybe let it slide but I think you need to have a conversation about his attitude when he's eaten and decompressed if this isn't a complete one off.

Randomlygeneratedname · 10/09/2025 20:37

Absolutely not, he thinks you can plan the kids going to sleep around his late arrival? I would have laughed in his face honestly.

Mrsttcno1 · 10/09/2025 20:38

I’ll help you dig!

FOJN · 10/09/2025 20:39

He'd be sleeping in the car tonight if he tried that shit with me. You worked, prepared dinner, did bath & bedtime with the kids and prepared things for tomorrow and he's complaining about having to make salad. Never prepare the ungrateful little shit dinner ever again, he's so used to it he's become entitled.

Enko · 10/09/2025 20:39

YANBU at all.

However if dh is usually sound then is it possible he is just tired and wanted a meal and to relax. Not saying that makes it ok to expect it ready more saying if he usually is ok is this just a mis step.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 10/09/2025 20:41

The King walks in and everything stops and the most important person there! Get on with making his dinner, you clearly don’t work hard enough in your woman job 🙄
Next time dump his dinner in the bin.

Coldnightsapproachingwhereismyduvet · 10/09/2025 20:41

Tomorrow night have a ready meal ready to ping when he walks in the door...

FOJN · 10/09/2025 20:44

Enko · 10/09/2025 20:39

YANBU at all.

However if dh is usually sound then is it possible he is just tired and wanted a meal and to relax. Not saying that makes it ok to expect it ready more saying if he usually is ok is this just a mis step.

I'm sure OP would quite like to have a meal and relax too. She's been pretty busy herself and probably feels quite tired. Do we think sitting on a train or cooking dinner and do all the parenting is more tiring?

arcticpandas · 10/09/2025 20:48

Im a sahm and I don't make my DH his dinner! Well, I did before but he started to complain and nitpick over ingredients and/or how it was cooked so I stopped. Sometimes he moans and I tell him that I'm happy to make something but he doesn't get to pick what or how it's done. I'm not a restaurant and I'm not his cordon bleu mother either.

MixedBananas · 10/09/2025 20:50

He may of had a pants day at work and with the delay is being ratty and a bit of a child. I would allow it. But wouldn't let it slide next time. If he repeats it then it is no dinner for him.
What maybe helpful is batch cooking on sundays and wackong in the freezer. Defrost overnight and he can watm up his own food. I do that and I don't even work i look after 2 smalls so have little time to make elbaorate meals in the week. Sundays I batch cook Spagbol sauce, chilli comcarni, soup / curry and rotate. It goes a long way.

notatinydancer · 10/09/2025 20:57

Fuck that.

BauhausOfEliott · 10/09/2025 20:59

YANBU at all.

If this is the one and only time he’s been a whiny twat about his dinner not being fully prepped and plated for him (and assuming he’s not usually a total prick) I’d tell him to sod off and assume he was just hangry and having an off-day and wouldn’t yet be phoning my solicitor.

But if this is par for the course for him, then he can fuck off into oblivion.

Xmasbows · 10/09/2025 21:00

I’d tell him to get lost!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 10/09/2025 21:01

Tomorrow I'd have his dinner ready then tell him he's doing all the tidying from kids dinner, bags, uniform etc as you were busy prepping his salad to prevent further disappointment

Original poster
SoftPillow · 10/09/2025 21:07

Thank you all!

He came to find me, and to add helpfully that he wasn’t upset. Which obviously was a huge relief as his salad anguish was a real concern of mine.

I reiterated that he was being ridiculous and I had other things to do.

He’s a decent guy, with a slight king complex about his return (eg he wants the kids to get up and come to greet him. They eye roll and continue to not do this)

I think we can get past this. Your support has helped dull my spade plans. And tomorrow he’s at home whilst I’m at the office. I shall expect dinner plated at 6.30 and I’ve planned a complicated meal 😁

OP posts:
TheTecknician · 10/09/2025 21:30

Wot an arsewipe, and a very backward-looking one too. I wonder if he'd prefer to wear food rather than eat it?

Whaleadthesnail · 10/09/2025 21:32

Ick.

BigBirdOfPrey · 10/09/2025 21:33

He’s probably had a bad day.
no excuse tho …

CoffeeBeansGalore · 10/09/2025 21:37

Don't dig a new patio. Hire a mini digger - much more fun.
If he does it again leave a pot noodle next to the kettle. Dinner's up!

ItWasTheBabycham · 10/09/2025 21:54

Next time have his dinner waiting for him in the oven complete with a wilty salad

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2025 21:55

I want a wife

awkwardasfuck · 10/09/2025 21:56

SoftPillow · 10/09/2025 20:32

My DH works a commute away and always comes home at 7.30pm earliest. I get home at 6.30pm if I’m at the office, as I did today.

His train was delayed, he told me to eat earlier. I ate with the kids, tidied up, prepped his dinner so the main part was cooked and waiting for him in the oven, then did bedtime, uniforms, school bags. All the usual shit I do every day.

I get downstairs about 30 secs before he gets home. I say your dinner is ready and in the oven, and he gets huffy that I haven’t prepped his salad.

‘I’d have done it for you’ he said. Well no, because you are never home before me, but if you were you’d be doing all the shit stuff I’d mentioned above.

I explained I’d been doing bedtime and that the entire household routine didn’t revolve around his arrival and needs for lettuce. He said that he was ‘disappointed’ that it wasn’t ready for him.

So I’ve come to Mumsnet as the sight of him mournfully making his salad makes me want to find a spade and a patio (perhaps exaggerating) AIBU not to have his salad prepared?

Let us all take a minute for the poor man who was forced to cutty uppy his own lettuce

May the gods have mercy on his tortured soul.

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