Being apart from 9 month old for 2 weeks

54 replies

MissTiss · 10/09/2025 20:06

Hi all,

DH is from Australia and wants to take DD (3) and DS (9 months by then) home for Christmas. I'm supposed to join December 1 but he wants to go two weeks earlier for extra time with his family.

I'm already taking 4 weeks off work in December after 8 months of mat leave and I could really use the two weeks to get started on a contracted project that's overdue and fairly important (writing a book). Also missing one leg of plane journey feels like a reward for all the sleepless nights!

But I'm starting to worry that 2 weeks apart from DS is too long. His dad is brilliant, he's very attached to him and he loves his sister. Grandparents etc will be there too.

But is it too long? I am not BF.

YABU - enjoy good sleep and a clear head for 2 weeks, baby will be fine.
YANBU - baby is too small go with them or stay behind for just one week.

OP posts:

GCSEmum2025 · 11/09/2025 17:23

Complet · 11/09/2025 09:53

Sounds lovely, and I don’t think people would give this a second thought if the dad was working away for two weeks! The children will be with their parent and grandparent and will have a wonderful time. What’s two weeks apart in the grand scheme of things (assuming you’re going to be living with them for the next 18yrs or so)!!

Well yes that is probably true. But the relationship between mother and baby is unique!

Btowngirl · 11/09/2025 17:43

MissTiss · 11/09/2025 16:19

I do appreciate that it seems very hard but our whole relationship has been hard with families who literally couldn't be at further points apart in the world. We did UK / oz long distance for 4 years! My husband is on parental leave for 3 months and I'm hoping the baby will have transferred equal attachment to dad by then. Keeping baby with me is not a useful option as he's not in nursery til January so I wouldn't be able to work.

I do appreciate people saying a baby has a special bond with mum but at 9 months we personally think it's ok and even important for Dad to be just as important. My husband would be very hurt I didn't think this!!

I maybe should worry about my three year old but she is super close to Dad and we are very bonded as well. I'll be able to explain to her what's happening and she's done the journey before. We can also chat on Skype and she'll be so excited to be with her cousins and nana.

I'm coming round to it tbh. After losing mum I haven't spent solo time with dad and that is important too. I basically hardly saw my daughter for 2 weeks while my mum was dying and I was 24/7 in the hospital and it was totally fine...

Thanks all. It has helped me think through things... I'm going to try a night away and see how it feels.

You sound like a happy and progressive family. You’re doing shared parental leave so there’s no reason dad isn’t and shouldn’t be equally as bonded. We are completely 50/50 parents and a lot of people don’t get that our kids are equally as happy and cared for which ever of us they’re with. My mum thinks it’s brilliant 😅 crazy to think equal parenting is seen as progressive in 2025 but here we are!

567OverwhelmedFTM · 11/09/2025 17:46

He's totally mad for considering flying alone with a 3 year old and 9 month old. But let him crack on with it. Baby will be fine.

Burntt · 11/09/2025 18:00

Non breastfed baby with a capable parent!!

enjoy it as much as you can! Nothing to feel guilty for here

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