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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Covid in 2025

131 replies

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 14:47

Hi all,

Long story short, my parents got back from holiday on Monday and both have Covid. Mum’s been unwell since Tuesday, Dad started feeling rough on Friday. Mum is better now.

They’re both retired, in their 60s, and usually look after my toddler two days a week while I’m at work.

They’re meant to be going to a funeral 150 miles away on Friday and, while there, also planning to visit elderly relatives.

I dropped tests over yesterday evening – Mum’s came back negative, Dad’s positive. I’d spent Saturday with Mum and, after feeling off last night, I tested again (negative the day before) and now I’m positive too.

I’ll be working from home until it clears – luckily that’s not an issue as my boss is lovely and very understanding.

Here’s the problem: Mum is determined to go to this funeral on Friday (it’s her friend’s partner who has passed, not a close relative). I’ve told Dad he needs to stay well away since he’s still testing positive. I’ve said he can travel down with Mum if he really wants, but he should let her attend alone, avoid staying overnight with Mum’s friend, and absolutely not go near my grandparents, who are in their 80s.

Mum insists I’m being dramatic – she says Covid is just like a cold now, and everyone’s vaccinated. I’m angry because I think she’s being selfish. Dad is listening to me (secretly relieved, I suspect, that he doesn’t have to go). What frustrates me most is that Mum is normally straight-laced, she never breaks rules or takes risks. She isn’t technically breaking any rules here, but in my opinion her attitude is irresponsible.

I’m 5 months pregnant and can’t take anything for the symptoms. Not only am I annoyed that I caught it from her in the first place, but I’m also worried she or Dad could spread it around like jam on toast and make a lot of people poorly.

AIBU? Thanks.

OP posts:
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5
LouH1981 · 09/09/2025 14:54

I’m currently in bed with covid right now. I’m usually fit and healthy but it has floored me. The vaccine can’t cover all strains so it helps but it’s not a complete fail safe. I don’t think you are being dramatic at all, I think your suggestion of your Dad staying in the accommodation is very sensible. What might feel like a cold for some people, can be very serious for others.
I hope you feel better soon xx

x2boys · 09/09/2025 14:54

Well as you say there are no rules lots of workplaces insist people come in as long as they feel OK even with covid
Are there going to be any medically vulnerable people at the funeral ?

JollyGreenSnake · 09/09/2025 14:55

YANBU. Your mother is being unreasonable. People with weaker immune systems still end up with long complex hospital admissions, some reliant on special mask systems to help them breathe, and some still end up needing a ventilator in ICU. And some people still die because of COVID infection. She can support her friend another way.

Sassylovesbooks · 09/09/2025 14:59

Your Mum has tested negative now, so is OK to travel and attend the funeral. Your Dad though, isn't. We can't stay locked up, so therefore COVID needs to be treated as a heavy cold/flu. However, would your Mum be expecting your Dad to mix with your elderly grandparents and attend a funeral, with the flu???!! Knowingly spreading the virus around to others, by mixing with elderly/vulnerable people and attending an event (regardless if a funeral/wedding/party) is selfish and unnecessary. It's a case of 'I'm alright, so bugger everyone else' attitude. The funeral isn't a family member, it's the husband of a friend - so not imperative she attends. Seeing elderly relatives can wait until your Dad is better. Of course some people contract COVID and just get the sniffles, so probably wouldn't even think to test, or keep away from others. In this situation, they do know though!

GlassofRosePorfavor · 09/09/2025 14:59

Not this again

Tagyoureit · 09/09/2025 15:02

Your mum is being incredibly selfish!

Even if i had basic flu, I would not be going anywhere near you, elderly parents or a massive group funeral!!

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 15:06

Tagyoureit · 09/09/2025 15:02

Your mum is being incredibly selfish!

Even if i had basic flu, I would not be going anywhere near you, elderly parents or a massive group funeral!!

I have said the same, her response was "We will agree to disagree".

OP posts:
zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 15:07

x2boys · 09/09/2025 14:54

Well as you say there are no rules lots of workplaces insist people come in as long as they feel OK even with covid
Are there going to be any medically vulnerable people at the funeral ?

I'm not sure, but most will be aged between 70-80, so would assume at least half have something going on at that age, surely?

OP posts:
snoopyfanaccountant · 09/09/2025 15:23

DH and I had covid earlier in the year. He picked it up in a work meeting where the other person in the room spent the whole meeting coughing and sneezing. Someone else was also part of the meeting but on Zoom so there was no reason for DH to meet in person. We are both mid-50s with good health but it took us both weeks to fully get over it - I was coughing up gunk for ages. I wouldn't have wanted to pass that on to anyone else.
I work with someone who is immunocompromised who looks after a 96 year old parent and one of the others in the team has a spouse who has had an organ transplant and who is therefore immunocompromised too. I therefore don't go near the office if I am unwell. There's no way I would go near a funeral or family members in their 80s if I had covid.

mumofbun · 09/09/2025 15:28

Likely your dad will be testing negative by then if I've read the timeline right (bit confusing as over two weeks?)

I don't know anyone who tests anymore but i wouldn't go near vulnerable if unwell - I suspect I've had COVID so didn't go see my parents but wouldn't even if it was a cold.

MookieCat · 09/09/2025 15:30

Your mother is being unreasonable. I just got back from a long-awaited 2 week visit with my parents after not seeing them for 14 months. My father has spent the last 5 months out of 7 in hospital with a respiratory illness. DH got covid so we sent him to a hotel until he tested negative. Because getting covid on top of his repeated respiratory illnesses could literally have killed my father.

Your mother does not know who is vulnerable and who is not. To deliberately disregard that fact is reprehensible IMO.

Teaandbutteredscones · 09/09/2025 15:33

They shouldn't go if they're infectious it would be very selfish, covid is still disabling and killing people.

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 09/09/2025 15:34

People still test ? If you're ill you're ill. If your not then carry on your day

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 15:36

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 09/09/2025 15:34

People still test ? If you're ill you're ill. If your not then carry on your day

I got them the tests purely as they are going to this large funeral. If this funeral wasn't happening then they wouldn't have bothered. Just stayed at home until feeling better.

OP posts:
Pezdeoro41 · 09/09/2025 15:43

LouH1981 · 09/09/2025 14:54

I’m currently in bed with covid right now. I’m usually fit and healthy but it has floored me. The vaccine can’t cover all strains so it helps but it’s not a complete fail safe. I don’t think you are being dramatic at all, I think your suggestion of your Dad staying in the accommodation is very sensible. What might feel like a cold for some people, can be very serious for others.
I hope you feel better soon xx

Same. It's been a lot worse for me this time, perhaps because last time was mid pandemic and we had just been vaccinated. But that's where your mum is wrong, she and other over 75s are, everyone else hasn't had a jab for years.

So here I am a single mum on day 7/8 wondering if I might need to go to A&E, losing £££ because I can't work and this all affecting wider family too due to the childcare issue.

I don't think people necessarily have to completely isolate these days, but sitting indoors next to people for extended periods of time isn't very fair on them. I wouldn't do that with a bad cold or flu either to be fair.

deeahgwitch · 09/09/2025 15:44

I’d say your mother’s friend will be delighted she came to the funeral from a Covid household. NOT.
On what planet is she ?
She’s like Typhoid Mary.
Elderly people with health issues no doubt, will be at that funeral and Mrs Selfish doesn’t care.
Some friend she is to her bereaved friend.

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 09/09/2025 15:45

It’s 2025 now. Your mum can go if she wants to.

full Covid bingo this thread.

Minnie798 · 09/09/2025 15:49

On Friday, it will have been a week since your dad's symptoms started. If he's feeling well, there's no need for him to miss the funeral. Or have I misunderstood the dates.
Majority of people no longer test, so we are probably all in contact with Covid in our day to day routines without even knowing.

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 15:50

Minnie798 · 09/09/2025 15:49

On Friday, it will have been a week since your dad's symptoms started. If he's feeling well, there's no need for him to miss the funeral. Or have I misunderstood the dates.
Majority of people no longer test, so we are probably all in contact with Covid in our day to day routines without even knowing.

You are correct yes, and almost 2 weeks since they returned from Holiday. After being in bed for days, he is as right as rain now, they still gave it to me though! 😡💁

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 09/09/2025 15:51

If your mother has tested negative what’s the problem?

Anon572747525991 · 09/09/2025 15:51

If the funeral was tomorrow I'd think it was really irresponsible to go but if your dad started fewling unwell last friday id have thought he'd be ok by this friday. The sensible thing to do would be for him to test the morning of the funeral surely? If still positive he stays in the accommodation and if negative he can crack on

x2boys · 09/09/2025 15:52

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 15:36

I got them the tests purely as they are going to this large funeral. If this funeral wasn't happening then they wouldn't have bothered. Just stayed at home until feeling better.

If their not well with a virus shouldn't they be staying home anyway
Why Is covid so special now?

zoeb92 · 09/09/2025 15:52

Berlinlover · 09/09/2025 15:51

If your mother has tested negative what’s the problem?

She's negative, but my Dad is positive, but she still insists they go down 'as a couple, staying with friends and seeing relatives. Probably doesn't want to turn up on her own, when the other woman in the group will have their partners with them. My point is, even if she was still positive, she would still go!

OP posts:
x2boys · 09/09/2025 15:54

MookieCat · 09/09/2025 15:30

Your mother is being unreasonable. I just got back from a long-awaited 2 week visit with my parents after not seeing them for 14 months. My father has spent the last 5 months out of 7 in hospital with a respiratory illness. DH got covid so we sent him to a hotel until he tested negative. Because getting covid on top of his repeated respiratory illnesses could literally have killed my father.

Your mother does not know who is vulnerable and who is not. To deliberately disregard that fact is reprehensible IMO.

People can't live their lives like that anymore i have two medically vulnerable people in my immediate family of four they still have to go work ,college etc.

x2boys · 09/09/2025 15:56

snoopyfanaccountant · 09/09/2025 15:23

DH and I had covid earlier in the year. He picked it up in a work meeting where the other person in the room spent the whole meeting coughing and sneezing. Someone else was also part of the meeting but on Zoom so there was no reason for DH to meet in person. We are both mid-50s with good health but it took us both weeks to fully get over it - I was coughing up gunk for ages. I wouldn't have wanted to pass that on to anyone else.
I work with someone who is immunocompromised who looks after a 96 year old parent and one of the others in the team has a spouse who has had an organ transplant and who is therefore immunocompromised too. I therefore don't go near the office if I am unwell. There's no way I would go near a funeral or family members in their 80s if I had covid.

What if you had any other virus ?

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