DH gift - WWYD?

Sandflea9900 · 2025-09-09T11:25:13+00:00

DH has bought me jewellery for a big wedding anniversary. It’s costume jewellery and not my style at all, but it somehow cost quite a lot, despite not being gold or silver. I can’t see myself ever wearing it. Do I tell him and ask to exchange it for something more my style, or suck it up as it was a gift he chose for me?

NagathaCrispy · 09/09/2025 12:28

As he chose it and bought it, I think you accept it gracefully, wear it once and quietly put it away somewhere. I hate this mentality that gifts are exchangeable, but fully accept that I'm a bit old fashioned about that sort of thing.

Icanttakethisanymore · 09/09/2025 12:39

Is it a lot of money for you as a couple / family? If it was expensive but money was not tight I probably wouldn’t say anything. If it was expensive but you rarely get to buy new jewellery etc and this is a rare treat, I would try to tactfully suggest an exchange.

ZippyPeer · 09/09/2025 12:43

If i had spent a lot of money on my partner, but they didn't like it, I would rather know and not waste the money.

I would be hurt when they told me, but honesty better in the long run

Ivy888 · 09/09/2025 12:44

Honesty is always the best policy.

JadziaD · 09/09/2025 12:46

This is quite a difficult one and I think it depends on a few factors. Does he usually get it right and this is a once off aberation? And if so, is there a particular reason he likes this piece so much that might make you feeel you need to keep it, or was it just a poor choice in the moment?

You say it cost quite a lot - is it a designer piece or something using semi precious stones etc? Again, if it's completely different to your usual style, it seems odd he'd spend this money and without a specific reason for it, I'd be gently asking if you can change it.

Coconutter24 · 09/09/2025 12:52

My DH bought me some dresses which were not my taste at all, I told him because I would never of worn them. With jewellery I’m not sure if I’d just keep it as sentimental pieces but then equally if you’re never going to wear them and he’d like you to I’d probably tell him

nomas · 09/09/2025 12:55

I’d want DH to exchange his gift for something he will actually wear.

It shouldn’t be about the feelings of the giver, but the person receiving.

GAJLY · 09/09/2025 13:05

I'd ask to exchange it so I could wear it. I've done this before.

CatBooksWineInThatOrder · 09/09/2025 13:05

Thank him for the effort he put in to choosing a gift for you but explain you’d hate for his money to be wasted on something that’s not quite your taste, meaning that you won’t wear it. You could suggest you choose something together as a replacement. You get what you want, he hopefully gets a better idea of what you’d like. I’ve done this with my husband and he was happy I spoke up.

Lollypop701 · 09/09/2025 13:10

My dh bought me an eternity ring … it wasn’t me so changed it and picked something together . If I bought an expensive item he didn’t like I would honestly want to know so he could change it.

No hurt feelings at all, I told him I appreciated the gift and his effort and we went shopping and I took him for lunch

PinkPhonyClub · 09/09/2025 13:11

I had similar a few years ago. I ummed and aahed for a while as didn’t want to hurt his feelings but in the end told him. How I loved the sentiment but I would rather have something I would regularly wear. He moaned a bit but I swapped and then made a point of wearing so he could see I valued his gift

Original poster

Sandflea9900 · 09/09/2025 13:16

Icanttakethisanymore · 09/09/2025 12:39

Is it a lot of money for you as a couple / family? If it was expensive but money was not tight I probably wouldn’t say anything. If it was expensive but you rarely get to buy new jewellery etc and this is a rare treat, I would try to tactfully suggest an exchange.

Edited

It can be bought online for £195. That seems a lot of money to me when it isn’t even silver. DH has only bought me jewellery a couple of times in the 30 years we have been together. He said he didn’t get me something silver as I don’t own any silver jewellery - about 2/3 of my jewellery is silver, and all he had to do was look in my jewellery box to see that. He also said he knows I don’t have anything else like it, but didn’t seem to realise that there might be a reason for that…

OP posts:

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 09/09/2025 13:17

I’ve asked to exchange jewellery before from a partner.

I went for a practical reason, it had a teeny tiny clasp that I couldn’t do, so gave that as the main reason for exchange.

19lottie82 · 09/09/2025 13:18

Oh I’d ask to change it without a second thought.

Icanttakethisanymore · 09/09/2025 13:18

Sandflea9900 · 09/09/2025 13:16

It can be bought online for £195. That seems a lot of money to me when it isn’t even silver. DH has only bought me jewellery a couple of times in the 30 years we have been together. He said he didn’t get me something silver as I don’t own any silver jewellery - about 2/3 of my jewellery is silver, and all he had to do was look in my jewellery box to see that. He also said he knows I don’t have anything else like it, but didn’t seem to realise that there might be a reason for that…

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Hmmm - sounds like he did think about it a fair bit (although obviously came to the wrong conclusion!).

I think we need to see a picture...... 😀

beAsensible1 · 09/09/2025 13:21

Return it and get what you want. He’s your husband not an acquaintance you can be grateful for the thought but not like the style. Especially in jewellery, which is so personal.

JadziaD · 09/09/2025 13:23

When you say it's not silver, what do you mean? I could easily spend £195 on something that was made of beads or crystals or something from a ewellery designer.

caringcarer · 09/09/2025 13:30

Sandflea9900 · 09/09/2025 13:16

It can be bought online for £195. That seems a lot of money to me when it isn’t even silver. DH has only bought me jewellery a couple of times in the 30 years we have been together. He said he didn’t get me something silver as I don’t own any silver jewellery - about 2/3 of my jewellery is silver, and all he had to do was look in my jewellery box to see that. He also said he knows I don’t have anything else like it, but didn’t seem to realise that there might be a reason for that…

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For £195 you could select a piece of vintage pre used gold or silver and a precious stone. I'd ask him if he could return it if at all possible. It's sad that he doesn't know your taste.

Talipesmum · 09/09/2025 13:51

First I’d try to figure out if it’s returnable or not. If so, I’d absolutely tell him - v nicely of course - say it’s lovely and you can see why he chose it but it’s not something you can see yourself ever wearing (or whatever nice words would work best). Then say but luckily, you’d actually been thinking you’d love a piece of nice jewellery and have a few ideas, that you’d love to have from him as an anniversary memory - and then share thoughts with him, choose something together.

My DH would totally be fine with this.

Talipesmum · 09/09/2025 13:53

I don’t think it’s sad that he doesn’t know your taste - it would be nice if he did but my sister is the only person who can reliably pick jewellery for me, others might be close but still off the mark. I’m quite picky! DH is great at picking other things but not jewellery - he gets jewellery for me after I’ve sent him a very specific link to an exact item!

havinalarf · 09/09/2025 13:59

Surely he wants you to have something you like and will wear? Jewellery is very personal after all. Give it a few days then raise the subject. Is a refund or exchange possible? That's quite a bit of money to be tied up in something you either won't use or use with gritted teeth.
I have taken back some jewellery my DH gave me as a gift. It wasn't offensive but he must have forgotten that he'd already bought me something similar on three other occasions! There's only so much pandering you should do IMO.

Motomum23 · 09/09/2025 14:37

Depends on your relationship - dh and I would tell each other that it's not our style and change it for something else - I know plenty who wouldn't but we work on yje principle that actually all family funds are joint money so spending a lot of money on something you won't use /wear is pointless.

CoffeenWalnut · 09/09/2025 14:57

You definitely need to tell him, tactfully, otherwise he might just buy you some more like it.....a matching set!

OneCleverPinkFawn · 10/09/2025 06:25

Icanttakethisanymore · 09/09/2025 12:39

Is it a lot of money for you as a couple / family? If it was expensive but money was not tight I probably wouldn’t say anything. If it was expensive but you rarely get to buy new jewellery etc and this is a rare treat, I would try to tactfully suggest an exchange.

Edited

Came here to say this!
OP, it really depends on the financial situation, if him buying this jewellery doesn't put a strain on your family budget, then you can wear it once or twice and put it away.
Some jewellery can't be exchanged or returned, though, so if you decide to bring this up, I'd suggest you check it beforehand.

InterestedDad37 · 10/09/2025 07:05

Sandflea9900 · 09/09/2025 13:16

It can be bought online for £195. That seems a lot of money to me when it isn’t even silver. DH has only bought me jewellery a couple of times in the 30 years we have been together. He said he didn’t get me something silver as I don’t own any silver jewellery - about 2/3 of my jewellery is silver, and all he had to do was look in my jewellery box to see that. He also said he knows I don’t have anything else like it, but didn’t seem to realise that there might be a reason for that…

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He obviously doesn't really know your taste in sparkly things, or know much about them. I'd suggest you tell him, exchange, and treat it as a learning opportunity for him 😃 It also minimises the chances of him thinking you like it, and buying you more. Plus, some way down the line, you can start to gently take the piss regarding 'that crsppy jewellery you bought me' 👍