AIBU to stop next doors sick cat coming into my garden?

[GardenCatHorror]

Neighbours (retired couple in their 80s) have a cat and a dog. Our gardens have quite tall fences and there has been a hole in a low fence panel for quite a few years that their cat has used to come between our two gardens. We are both mid terrace houses and our gardens are functional but not big.

Their cat poos in our garden all the time. It was always in this same dirt spot under a tree, so I just cleaned it up and didn't make a fuss about it because I understand that's kind of what cats do. I would rather the cat wasn't in our garden as I have young kids who I have to keep away from the part of the garden it was using as a toilet, but I have never once said anything to the neighbours complaining. Our garden is functional but not fancy. We usually get along well enough- they look after our houseplants while we go away, take in parcels. I have given them a sign in to our netflix etc.

We have been away for two weeks, and then there was bad weather, so yesterday was the first day we were outside hoping to enjoy our garden in close to a month. Their cat has clearly gotten very sick. There was about twenty piles of cat poo on our lawn, many appear to be bad diarrhea, we couldn't let our kids onto the lawn at all to play and spent nearly an hour cleaning everything from this cat/ trying to scoop up the chunks and cut away all the dirty grass, along with some more over by the tree and a bit on the gravel. The grass has grown a little long lately (top of an ankle boot height) so it was really hard to clean/ see. It was absolutely disgusting and really stunk. I blocked off the hole in the fence because I couldn't cope with having to clean a mess like that again.

I received a text from the neighbours today that their cat is very old and needs to be able to come into our garden and they didn't want to fall out over this, so they were letting us know they had opened up the hole into our garden again. I rang them to explain about the liquid poo on our grass and said I wasn't comfortable with the cat coming over anymore. Neighbour then told me the cat is only an outside cat now and fairly feral, and needs to be able to leave her garden when her dog goes outside or the dog will hurt her. Apparently the cat being able to come into our garden and just go into theirs to get food when the dog is shut away has been the cats living situation for a while. Noone ever asked us! Cat is too old to climb fences apparently.

I explained my concern with the poo I couldn't clean up around my young kids and another relative who is undergoing chemo. I never said anything nasty, I never called her a name, I never made a threat. I was just trying to be firm. I said I needed to talk to my husband about it after hearing what she'd been saying about her cat being unsafe in her garden and about this sickness likely being permanent for the rest of the cats life due to old age/ kidney problems. But then she's been sending some really hurtful text messages accusations saying I am clearly having 'Karen' moments, that I should 'stop upsetting two pensioners with health problems', that I should 'let it go' 'that I have mental issues going on if I'm upset about their cat (she knows my parent has terminal cancer so I'm going through an emotionally draining time), that I better not hurt their cat (I have never hurt their cat!).

Honestly it's been so bad this afternoon I've just blocked them on my phone. Fence hole is currently unblocked, no sign of their cat before it got dark. I am both so upset I just want to block the fence up permanently and be done with them, but don't want to leave the cat in a dangerous position. Do I get my husband to text? Do I just ignore them and carry on cleaning up after the damn cat? Do I sprinkle pepper on our lawn?

They have been kind neighbours in the past so i would probably have just put up with it once she told me about the dog being unsafe around the cat, but then these nasty texts started. AIBU if I block up the fence and blow up neighbourly relations for good?

Yes, all this with the owner reckoning about being concerned about the cat being attacked by the dog, obviously not that concerned about it's welfare. Poor soul. It's going to be awful for it in autumn and winter being left outside. In my experience, RSPCA haven't bothered to help with abandoned cats. I wonder if the cat has been microchipped, although it is now law, I doubt it would have been. May be worth trying to get some advice from local cat rescue centres on best next steps to see what they think. This is a useful site to find local services www.catchat.org/index.php/cat-rescue-centres-uk-ireland

So now that the bowl of food is in your garden and the hole is closed up how is she going to feed the cat tomorrow? Or is she going to remove that panel every day to put more food through? I suspect cognitive decline too, but it's really not fair on the cat. I'd call the RSPCA and ask them to come and do a welfare check on both animals.

Presumably the cat is now somewhere in your or your other neighbours garden & she’s not letting it back home, so that her dog can enjoy roaming freely in their own garden!

She sounds totally nuts - I’d definitely be removing the netflix access & blocking them. Even if they have some sort of cognitive decline, your priority is keeping your garden safe for your family. Their cat, their problem & I’d be turfing it over the fence if they have blocked it out of their own garden.

Their cat, their problem. Block the fence permanently and take photos.
If they complain, tell them to make a hole it their opposite garden border in their own fence, while telling that neighbour the cat will now be shitting in their garden - see if they think that’s reasonable or if it dawns on them you can’t expect someone else to put up with it.
Or you could say you have D&V so you’ll be coming to use their toilet instead of you own. They wouldn’t want to risk getting sick from your faecal bacterial, so why should children and someone on chemo be exposed to their cat shit?!

They’ve ruined the relationship themselves.

This is animal cruelty. An elderly ill cat cannot live outside heading towards winter.

Seems she thinks the cat is, or at least could be, in your garden. Maybe the wire isn't securely fixed so she can put more food down? It's very weird behaviour. I don't think you've mentioned the husband, has it just been her being abusive?

They could erect some kind of cat enclosure in their own garden, to keep the cat safe from their dog. Foxes in your garden (and the other neighbours') could also be a danger to the cat, if it can no longer climb.

Just use a litter box inside your own house. Problem solved.

If you don’t think this is a real thread then report it instead of troll hunting.

So she thinks her cat is now in your garden, she's put cat food where she thinks cat can reach it, in her garden, via the hole, but blocked beyond that so the dog can't get the cat (looking at that wire, depending on the dog it probably still can).

Block the fence. Cat can still go and piss off another neighbour, she can go and fetch her cat from them.

OP. You and your husband need to stop with that adhoc blocks and properly seal up the fence. Screw some planks across the back of the fence panel so they cannot simply be pushed over. You could even replace the panel.

You can planks/ fence components from Wickes b and q local fence supplies etc and fence panels are only 6ft wide so will fit in a car. A new fence panel you might need to get delivered

If the cat gets stuck on your side due to your neighbours being unreasonable take it back over via the front door or if it is ill take it to the vets since it is feral.

Anyone who lets their cat shit in someone else’s garden is a dick. Block the fence and report them for animal cruelty.

Take the food bowl back to her house - I think someone else has also already said this. Seal up your side so she can’t use it as a feline serving hatch.

Such odd behaviour from them.

The neighbours sounds nuts. They probably don’t want the cat crapping all over their house and garden.
id be more sympathetic to them if they hadn’t been so rude and entitled.
in these circumstances I’d take the cat to a vets and say you found it unwell in your garden. The vets will scan it for a microchip and contact the owners if they can and advise on treatment or euthanasia. If they can’t contact the owners they will treat it or euthanise it. Either way, the cat won’t be suffering and the shitting problem is removed.

Most cats bury their faeces, are you sure it’s not from a fox, they do very wet smelly ones.

If you see the cat in your garden after she’s blocked the fence oils you pick it up and put it back in their garden?

They don't when they're unwell. Our cat had various chronic conditions in later life and took to pooing on our grass and leaving it uncovered.

If she has evicted the cat, you need to call the RSPCA and report her. She can't just abandon her cat and expect you to care for it.

So you block off your side and take the cats to the vet’s.

The rspca won’t come out because the neighbour has dumped food in your garden. unless they think they can have a solid legal case to rinse her in court and well it’s a cat, only your word to them it cannot climb a fence.

Take the cat to the vet’s if you know which one she worked at I’d go there. Drop cat off worried for its health and explain the fence and food. They will call her to collect it after giving it a check over. If she doesn’t go, it will go to rescue, if she collects it well it won’t be in your garden as you’ll of blocked off your side.

When my cat became old and sick, I bought a litter tray, he seemed happier doing it in that instead of looking for somewhere. Must be stressful for an ill cat finding somewhere safe to go. Suggest she uses a litter tray. Perhaps when she sees the diarrhea she'll understand why you can't have it in your garden anymore. But she cannot expect access to your garden for her cat?! That's insane! It's unsafe to have that poop everywhere when you have small children.

Am I being thick? Disclaimer….I quite often am 😆 the photo looks like the orange cat bowl is on the other side of the metal mesh. So as if the photo is taken from Peggy’s side?

I must be thick too because that's what I see!

Ahhh. Glad it’s not just me @Tubestrike 😮‍💨 just can’t get my head around it.

Actually @Tubestrike are we thinking that a terracotta pot is the cat food bowl? I see that the mesh is attached on Peggy's side ‘photo wise’. So I guess the cat food bowl is lower down, out of shot, on the concrete bit below the wooden fence that @GardenCatHorror mentioned. Only trying to work it out in my foggy brain. Not being a dick.