AIBU to stop next doors sick cat coming into my garden?

[GardenCatHorror]

Neighbours (retired couple in their 80s) have a cat and a dog. Our gardens have quite tall fences and there has been a hole in a low fence panel for quite a few years that their cat has used to come between our two gardens. We are both mid terrace houses and our gardens are functional but not big.

Their cat poos in our garden all the time. It was always in this same dirt spot under a tree, so I just cleaned it up and didn't make a fuss about it because I understand that's kind of what cats do. I would rather the cat wasn't in our garden as I have young kids who I have to keep away from the part of the garden it was using as a toilet, but I have never once said anything to the neighbours complaining. Our garden is functional but not fancy. We usually get along well enough- they look after our houseplants while we go away, take in parcels. I have given them a sign in to our netflix etc.

We have been away for two weeks, and then there was bad weather, so yesterday was the first day we were outside hoping to enjoy our garden in close to a month. Their cat has clearly gotten very sick. There was about twenty piles of cat poo on our lawn, many appear to be bad diarrhea, we couldn't let our kids onto the lawn at all to play and spent nearly an hour cleaning everything from this cat/ trying to scoop up the chunks and cut away all the dirty grass, along with some more over by the tree and a bit on the gravel. The grass has grown a little long lately (top of an ankle boot height) so it was really hard to clean/ see. It was absolutely disgusting and really stunk. I blocked off the hole in the fence because I couldn't cope with having to clean a mess like that again.

I received a text from the neighbours today that their cat is very old and needs to be able to come into our garden and they didn't want to fall out over this, so they were letting us know they had opened up the hole into our garden again. I rang them to explain about the liquid poo on our grass and said I wasn't comfortable with the cat coming over anymore. Neighbour then told me the cat is only an outside cat now and fairly feral, and needs to be able to leave her garden when her dog goes outside or the dog will hurt her. Apparently the cat being able to come into our garden and just go into theirs to get food when the dog is shut away has been the cats living situation for a while. Noone ever asked us! Cat is too old to climb fences apparently.

I explained my concern with the poo I couldn't clean up around my young kids and another relative who is undergoing chemo. I never said anything nasty, I never called her a name, I never made a threat. I was just trying to be firm. I said I needed to talk to my husband about it after hearing what she'd been saying about her cat being unsafe in her garden and about this sickness likely being permanent for the rest of the cats life due to old age/ kidney problems. But then she's been sending some really hurtful text messages accusations saying I am clearly having 'Karen' moments, that I should 'stop upsetting two pensioners with health problems', that I should 'let it go' 'that I have mental issues going on if I'm upset about their cat (she knows my parent has terminal cancer so I'm going through an emotionally draining time), that I better not hurt their cat (I have never hurt their cat!).

Honestly it's been so bad this afternoon I've just blocked them on my phone. Fence hole is currently unblocked, no sign of their cat before it got dark. I am both so upset I just want to block the fence up permanently and be done with them, but don't want to leave the cat in a dangerous position. Do I get my husband to text? Do I just ignore them and carry on cleaning up after the damn cat? Do I sprinkle pepper on our lawn?

They have been kind neighbours in the past so i would probably have just put up with it once she told me about the dog being unsafe around the cat, but then these nasty texts started. AIBU if I block up the fence and blow up neighbourly relations for good?

They seem to be forgetting they don't HAVE to let this angry dog into the garden...

If the "Feral cat with diarrhoea " can only live out there (although where does it shelter at night from foxes???) Then they need to leave it there alone.

The dog can just have walks or ve allowed out to pee on a lead in the front garden so it doesn't attack. If they can't walk it/afford a dog walker they shouldn't have it.

Can this aggressive strong dog get through the hole to where your children play?!!!

Cat shit carries toxoplasmosis. It's not safe for playing in. It's dangerous for pregnant women for example.

Contact RSPCA and tell them the cat is neglected.

Put up a small fence inside your fence, around the hole, so cat has a small hideaway to come in, but can't get any further into your garden, but can get away from their dog. I would look for a second hand metal puppy pen that you can stake down outside. If the cat does still have some jumping/climbing ability, top it off with some chicken mesh.

Hose/jet wash the shite back through the fence hole every few days (though, the less you do this the more the cat will hold it and shit in its own garden when the dog is not out there - it is shitting in your garden out of habit, not because it absolutely has to, it has all the time the resident dog is not outside to shit in its own back yard!).

This means cat has a safe bolt hole - you won't feel responsible for dog grabbing cat which, as the cat gets more and more frail will become inevitable really... and don't have to escalate with batshit neighbour.

It also means if catto carks it in the tiny fenced area you'll find it quick enough to lob the body back through the hole and avoid any 'you killed my cat' malarkey (though she may try to pull that anyway).

It goes without saying, you should not HAVE to do this, but the alternative options will just escalate things with Mrs CatcrapCrazy and she's got WAY more spare time to be a pain in the arse to you, than you have spare time to field it back to her.

i am glad you blocked them
they are in the wrong

So their cat thinks your garden is their safe place..errrrrrrr no ! Sorry it has come to this if they had previously been nice neighbours but block up fence immediately and don't communicate with them any more. Yes awkward but you have put up with loads. Can't believe they think it is acceptable that your garden needed all that cleaning (how do you even successfully clean this ?!)with young kids. I would be soo cross. YANBU

So their cat thinks your garden is their safe place..errrrrrrr no ! Sorry it has come to this if they had previously been nice neighbours but block up fence immediately and don't communicate with them any more. Yes awkward but you have put up with loads. Can't believe they think it is acceptable that your garden needed all that cleaning (how do you even successfully clean this ?!)with young kids. I would be soo cross. YANBU

OK, this isn't solving most of the problems, but is anyone giving away an old rabbit pen or similar?
"Block" the hole with a pen on your side. Cat escapes their garden, poos in a very contained part of yours, and they can't unblock it, as the hole is still there.

The neighbors are being unreasonable, but it might be easier not to make further waves, and it sounds like it won't be for long.

THIS! ⬆️ Gloves are off now - the 'good neighbours' ship has well & truly sailed so who cares if you upset them? They're being utterly unreasonable & rude so fuck it - block the hole & all contact with them. Refer to a Solicitor if they keep harassing you or damaging your fence.

They are not kind people, they are nasty, selfish, lazy people. Block the hole again and tell them that if they do what they did before again they will be reported to the police for criminal damage and harassment. Genuinely in your situation, I’d have the police, or community support police going round there to tell them to back off.

They are being outrageous. It's a shame given the history of friendship you have with them, but you can't really be expected to tolerate cat diarrhea all over your lawn. They will have to manage their pet situation on their own. Block the hole, change your Netflix password and ignore them.

Block the hole with something heavy on your side that they can’t disturb or move - perhaps a concrete block and then reinforce with something heavy behind it. Spray the hole with something safe but cat repellant (think I’ve seen stuff on Amazon). Ignore them and keep blocking their messages. I wouldn’t get involved with vets etc. as it could create more issues like you having to pay for treatment or them accusing you of kidnapping their cat. Sorry about your mum.

Block up the fence in a heavy duty fashion and if they send any more harrassing messages, report them to the police (there’s a special area for this sort of anti social behaviour). They sound ridiculously entitled. Of course you don’t want cat shit all over the place.

I've a cat myself, but this is dreadful behaviour on your neighbour's part - they're actually neglecting their cat who must need medical attention. As for the dog, they can bring in the cat and let the dog out! It's what responsible owners do. Securely block the hole and block their messages too!

The thing is, this isn't your problem. The cat is solely their problem and so is their dog. Funny how people always want to make other people responsible for their issues.

It’s not declaring war, it’s protecting your safety and peace. It’s your fence, so block it up.
The cat is theirs to look after, not yours. If it can’t scale the fence, they need to reconsider how they manage their two pets.
Have you suggested the cat needs a visit to the vet?

Stand your ground. Why is their cat and dog situation more important then your kids being able to play in their own garden?! I wouldn't care about people like this falling out with me, they sound massively entitled and terrible pet owners. It sounds like the cat is scared of the dog and doesn't want to go home, which is awful considering it's sick and winter is approaching. Change your netflix password and ask someone else to water your plants or get some of those self watering devices.

Absolutely vile neighbours.
I would imagine the reason they are saying the cat is now feral is an excuse.
The cat isn’t feral just too scared to be in the house because the idiot neighbours have got a dog.

The only compromise I can think of is if you built a very small, temporary catio around the fence hole, so the cat can escape their garden but not have free rein of yours. It sounds like it’s past the point of suggesting this to your neighbours as a reasonable shared solution but if you’re feeling kind towards the cat, I’d just do it and if the neighbour complains, you can say this is the best you can do, seeing as she’s not offering any solutions to deal with her pet and its health. It doesn’t have to be huge or expensive (although it will obviously be you paying for it when it should really be them) and if they then complain it’s too small or something, say you’ll charge £5 a week per cubic foot of space they’re renting on your property!

Definitely block the hole up again, with a bit of carefully chosen planting if needed, something the cat won't get through.

These people are unreasonable.

Phone the rspca for advice?
The cat needs treatment. The dig is presumably not being walked either. One wonders about the state of her house too. It could be filthy.

Do Tou have contact with her family or priest or anyone that could help her see reality.

I was thinking if she is that keen on the cat using your garden could tell her it’s fine and youll phone her each time it shits so she can come and clean it up herself. If she plays the “old and infirm i can’t do that” card then you can tell her she shouldn’t have pets if she won’t look after them and the cat must be in pain and she is being cruel to let it suffer.

Do you know what vet practice she worked in. Perhaps they could ‘drop by’

Thank you all. The idea of creating a safe space with a rabbit run is an interesting one (but I think my husband would think I've gone a bit crazy even if I could source one and I've no idea how we'd attach the thing). The wooden fence panels sits on a slab of horizontal concrete so the hole is above that, about a foot in the air.

Woke up this morning to the cat back on our lawn and two piles of fresh cat poo on the grass (more solid logs this time so maybe the cat isn't as ill as we feared).

Both piles are both right where I stand to use our washing line which had clothes on it overnight, and its bumming me out hard.

We'll have to find some kind of a wood plate and get my husband to fix/ screw it on today. I am not diagnosed with anything but have long suspected I might be on the spectrum (other family members are). I avoid upsets where I can because I will ruminate on them for days, but I get a similar feeling from this poo on my lawn so I'm going to be all out of sorts today regardless.

The difficulty is being sure the cat is in my neighbours garden at the time we block up the hole. When we go out it usually runs to the back of our garden and onto another yard rather than back home.

But the hole is definitely going. You are all exactly right that there are other things she can do to create a safe space for her cat in her own garden and keep her pets apart. She doesn't get to decide this for us. It's not fair.

Oh no; that is not ok. As a person with an elderly cat with the same problem, if I could control where she goes, I absolutely would. I can’t and I’m sure my neighbours hate it if she goes into their garden (and I’m so sorry about that!). But if there was any way to prevent her from roaming I absolutely would! I can’t believe they’re being so entitled. They’re not entitled to use your garden as their cats toilet!

Omg do NOT make a cat cage area inside YOUR garden. No no.no.

They are responsible for their own pets.

You aren't sending your kids next door to poo on their lawn.

Put a motion detected sprinkler in the garden for a few weeks, focused on the entry point. Cat will soon get the message and find somewhere else to go.

I don’t know why but this thread has really got in my head, I was thinking about it driving back from dropping my son to school 😂 it makes me so angry that your neighbours have the audacity to try and guilt trip you into putting your young child at risk of all the serious illnesses that can be caused by cat shit because they cannot be arsed to be decent, responsible pet owners and care for their own cat!! I’m so annoyed for you. You shouldn’t feel bad for ‘causing’ any issues or arguments, they’ve done that all on their own, the nasty bastards. Block the hole in the fence, keep dickhead 1&2 blocked at all costs and DO NOT FEEL BAD!!