Did I really give my child an unusual name?

[GameSetMatch]

My DS1 who is 11years old and has just started high school has come home every day since starting upset with different children taking the mick out of his name! He’s been shoved and his chair kicked whilst being taunted because his name is ‘weird’ according to the children.

His name is …. Ewan, to me it’s just an ordinary name not popular but not out there or strange, is it??

I also would like opinions please on what to do, do I just let everything pan out and see if it settles because it’s only been four days or do I set my stall out with the teachers early? I’m leaning towards the wait and see option.

A bit of background is, he’s extremely intelligent but not socially aware as we think he is ND he was bullied in primary school but only the last year and it was never really delt with properly, with the teachers turning a blind eye to it. The bullying was verbal and physical ranging from a black eye to being made to sit in a puddle.

Any advice or opinions would be appreciated.

Have you badgered his teacher yet @GameSetMatch ?

the deputy rang my husband at work today because some thug called my son a ‘n!*r’ luckily he told the teacher right away! My husband explained everything else that has gone on so we will see what happens!

I would follow up with an email to that deputy and copy in the SENCO (mention the fact he is being assessed). Reiterate everything that has happened, say you are concerned for his safety in school, and ask what they are going to do to keep him safe.

Don't let them think you are going to drop it after one phonecall.

Also give loads of praise to your son for telling a teacher. That’s what he needs to do every time. To be fair to the school they can only act on things they know about.

Ewan is a perfectly normal, lovely name. The children doing this do not need a reason to bully their victims, they would do it to anyone that they perceived as a target. It is an issue with their behaviour, not anything you or your child has done, or could prevent unfortunately. Report it to school, keep reporting it and make a nuisance of yourself until they do something about it. Don't just accept it. Follow the school complaints procedure until it gets dealt with!

Good advice!

Time to take your child out until the school has properly dealt with this situation. Yes its unfair but you can't have a young child growing up like this.

Absolutely dreadful. It sounds like a horrific environment for your son. Report this to the police, OP, don't be fobbed off by the school. Kids are over the age of criminal responsibility.

My child is at school with a child called chaos..... Say no more

Tell people (not the kids) he’s named after a famous uncle but, shhh keep it quiet. It may seem an odd thing to do but that’s what my father-in-law did when my son was bullied for having an odd name of Leo. it worked as it ‘got around’ the school. We found out after about a year by which time the other kids thought he was ‘cool’ this was about 10 years ago. Might work

He is not being bullied because of his name or because he's ND.

The bullies are targeting him because there's something wrong with them, and because the school.is failing to establish a healthy social culture within its walls.

How is ds now, op?? xx @GameSetMatch

Ewan is a perfectly normal name. There was a lad in my son’s class with that name and it wasn’t considered unusual at all and we’re not in Scotland. What an odd bunch of kids at that school.

The school sounds awful. 😕

The name is just an excuse. They’re bullying him for other reasons.

Pull him out of school. This happened to my son and it didn’t stop. We had endless meetings with the school, nothing improved. Two years in, he was suicidal. We finally pulled him out and home educated. But he never recovered, honestly. Despite therapy. He developed a fear of leaving the house and is still with us, aged 32. He now has an autism diagnosis. Ewan is a perfectly normal name. Schools are brutal now. Not fit places for sensitive children.

It works for the multi millionaire international film-star Ewan McGregor!

My nephew was bullied because like myself he was foreign looking ( we are from a Greek Cypriot background) and he was a very smart kid.

He stuck out because he attended a predominantly white Anglo-Saxon school in a small Lincolnshire town, unlike me he wasn’t a ruffian who would have a scrap. The school teachers did sweet FA about the complaints from my sister, then one day she sent a picture to me of my nephew with bruises all up his arms, I live over 120 miles from her so I couldn’t keep driving backwards and forwards.

I sent the picture and the story to their local newspaper, the editor rang me and said he did not think that it would do my nephew any favours if they published the story, but what he would do is phone the head teacher and threaten to publish the story. Lo and behold the head teacher phoned my sister in a fluster within an hour of the editors threats , she claimed that she never knew that my nephew was being bullied because no one had told her! The bully was a well developed boy for his age and once an investigation was underway it was discovered this little punk had been bullying lots of other kids and was then expelled. My nephew went in to get a 1st in Computer Science and then his masters and is now a very successful thirty something year old.

i dint think it’s bullying it’s just kids being kids, but if your gut feeling tells you that your kid is being bullied you shouldn’t be asking for other peoples point of view on this site, go for the jugular, write or make make a an appointment with the head teacher and let her have it, don’t rant and rave be articulate and to the point.

We pay taxes those institutions to do their jobs teachers are public servants, as am I, they are accountable and you owe them nothing.

Perfect advice !

His name isn't the issue. I am glad you have told school. Hopefully they will crack down. Nobody needs this shit. Kids can be awful sometimes. If it is dealt with early they normally stop and tell your ds the bullying is entirely about how they bullies feel about themselves and not to do with him at all. He doesn't bully because he is comfortable in his own skin and likes himself.

What does ND stand for please?

Neuro Diverse.

According to the Office for National Statistics Ewan was the 387th most common boys' name in 2023 (the most recent data). They exlude names listed less than 3 times for confidentiality. 105 boys were registered with that name.

Sweetheart, with great respect, you are focussing too much on the name issue .. it’s clear that your lovely son is in a very miserable and nasty bullying situation whilst he’s in the vulnerable period of transition to high school .
He’s in a tough school and is being targeted and it’s escalating. Likely due to his Neuro Diverse traits he is standing out and others are jumping on the disgusting bandwagon to humiliate him.
I know your school choices are very limited but this situation is going to seriously damage his mental health .
Look into getting him out of there asap .
Has he got an EHCP .. guess that’s unlikely.. but get that in place without delay .. (get the school SENCO on board pronto .. he needs immediate protection) … and then he has more access to better suited educational establishments to support and nurture him ❤️xxx