Did I really give my child an unusual name?

[GameSetMatch]

My DS1 who is 11years old and has just started high school has come home every day since starting upset with different children taking the mick out of his name! He’s been shoved and his chair kicked whilst being taunted because his name is ‘weird’ according to the children.

His name is …. Ewan, to me it’s just an ordinary name not popular but not out there or strange, is it??

I also would like opinions please on what to do, do I just let everything pan out and see if it settles because it’s only been four days or do I set my stall out with the teachers early? I’m leaning towards the wait and see option.

A bit of background is, he’s extremely intelligent but not socially aware as we think he is ND he was bullied in primary school but only the last year and it was never really delt with properly, with the teachers turning a blind eye to it. The bullying was verbal and physical ranging from a black eye to being made to sit in a puddle.

Any advice or opinions would be appreciated.

As someone who works in many schools I can promise you that Ewan would not be in the category of unusual names.

I would be having a word with the school.

Honestly OP, some kids can be vile. I work in a school and a lot of posters won’t agree with this but I would move him ASAP. Even if the teachers address it; it’s started already and it’ll only get worse. Social media is horrendous for this kind of this being carried on out of school hours.
Your poor boy :(

Definitely deal with the bullying now rather than later, there is nothing wrong with his name.

I think this is the answer

I like working class culture as much as the next person, but not all kids can be called mason 🙄🙄🙄

Go to the school and raise hell, Scottish mum 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 - your heritage matters x

(Not in a reform party way)

Completely normal name. Even if he had an unusual name, the bullying wouldn't really be about the name. It's usually about the bully having their own problems.

Sorry to be all over this thread op, I just got all incensed reading this.

Can you pull him out of school? If the bullying is physical, do it today.

Then talk to the council about him starting afresh somewhere else

Dont be afraid of the attendance people, take photos of his injuries, write notes about each day at school this term

And write up exactly what happened in the last school with the same kids

I was bullied badly at school which is probably why i'm all triggered, but i think that this is the right thing to do xx

my sibling is ND and was mocked for their surname - I share the surname but no one said anything about it with me. It’s not the name it’s that they think your son is an easy target. Make him a less easy target by raising this with the teachers now and every single time. Your poor boy x

Unfortunately some children this age will just pick on someone who seems different or weaker. That is what they are doing, the name is just an excuse.

You should not just wait and see - get onto this through the head of year (or other relevant teacher in authority) as soon as you can.

There will probably also be a Wellbeing or Pastoral office at the school, too. Contact them as well.

His name is absolutely fine. In fact it’s bold and confident which is how he needs to be. Showing the bullies they can upset him encourages them to continue. Encourage (teach) him not to react in order to disempower them. If he walks on by their efforts are pointless.

Kids will pick on anyone that stands out. It isn’t about his name. If they see an easy target they will try. My dc started secondary school and came home horrified that his friend was pushed down the stairs and hurt by other children. I reported it and it wasn’t even my child. The school were really good and put a stop to it. Please speak up fast don’t let him go through this.

ranging from a black eye to being made to sit in a puddle.

That is horrific.

Definitely a normal name, though maybe they’re using Ewan the Sheep as a way to take the mickey? Bit like being called Alexa now - but still, you’re doing the right thing in going to the school and sorting this out.

So sad for your ds reading this op 💐

It’s not his name. Ewan is a lovely and perfectly good name!

I have one ND child and unfortunately I think that is probably the issue.

I’m so sorry. It’s horribly unfair and having been through it myself at school, and seen my dc go through it, my heart just crashes for any child facing this.

Starting high school is a classic time for bullying to happen when a lot of slightly nervous children stake out their allegiances. And some like to show who is top dog by bullying others. And they start out by testing the waters by making fun of anything; hair colour, clothes, names, to see who will stand up for themselves and who won’t. Your ds has to learn to be brave unfortunately and straightaway say something like “I like my name thanks”.

Have any of the bullies followed him from primary school? That is what happened to me.

I would start the process to get your son assessed immediately and tackle this issue with the school straightaway too. Every situation is different but I took a wait and see approach with my dc and I regretted it.

This needs the form teacher keeping an eye and maybe a talk on kindness and inclusion. And maybe role play with your child the ways he could handle this situation himself eg humour, making a comment back, standing up straight, breathing and relaxing and looking the bully in the eye. Unfortunately if they do nothing, the bullying tends to get worse.

I found over the years that the effectiveness of how this sort of thing is handled definitely stems from the top down. Zero tolerance is preferable.

It may seem massively over the top to say this after only the first week, but don’t hesitate to think about moving your son down the line if the teachers or head teacher don’t seem engaged or interested in stopping bullying, or pay lip service to it but can’t actively follow through. Or if the school can’t ensure a safe and secure environment for your son. He is already being shoved and that’s not a good sign.

Wishing you every strength for tackling this op 💐

Skip the form tutor and go straight to the head of year. The bullying is not acceptable and any school should be dealing with it. It is unlikely that the form tutor will do much apart from pass it on to the head of year.

It's probably not that common these days but it's certainly not weird
Ewan,Mcgregor?
But the bullies need to be dealt with.

Ewan is pretty mainstream?
it’s a lovely name btw.

This is so horrible OP. I echo everything else that's been said so far, really. The only bit extra I can add is that, in the meantime, does he have another activity or hobby where he is more in sync with his, "Tribe" as it were, so that school and that gang of bullies aren't his whole life?

That's what saved me when I was bullied at school.

They have decided he is an easy target for whatever reason. It’s not about his name. 😢

Why haven't you emailed his tutor?

1. Ewan is a perfectly normal and lovely name
2. Even if you'd called him Bananahead-Fortescue, bullying is absolutely not acceptable and needs nipping in the bud right now

3..ND kids are often bullied simply because they (we) stand out as different. It's one of the factors that can make secondary school hellish

Please do talk to the teachers right away. I'd make it clear that you suspect your DS is ND. Safeguarding is a good word to mention. If you want to put a rocket up their arses, you could mention the long-term risk of school refusal.

Sympathy and support to your DS. It's a truly horrible experience and I'm so sorry he's experiencing it.

I have a Ewan - he’s 24 almost. No one has ever commented on his name

I'd try to get him out of there. Put him on the waiting-list for everywhere else round about you in case things don't settle down.

It’s a perfectly normal name to me. DS (21 now) went to nursery with a Euan but not met any others since but I consider it a perfectly normal, main stream name.

He sounds very much like my dd. My dd is now 21, was diagnosed Aspergers when she was 4 (now called high functioning autism), highly intelligent and bullied all the way through school. I feel very guilty now that I didn’t do more to help her, but I didn’t know what to do. She wanted to learn…to be in education, but kids were awful towards her, because she was different and intelligent. My dd went to uni and got a degree, at uni she found her people but the bulling from school has had a huge effect on her. Please do all you can to help your ds, maybe look into getting him a diagnosis, stand up for him, talk to the school. Every time he’s bullied you need to fight his corner (even if he tells you not too).