Is she being a CF or do I need to pay for the full journey?

[straighttalker99]

Yesterday, I wrote a thread about going away with a work 'friend' and had a bit of a bad time. I decided to leave early, and paid for a £90 train fare home. When she drove us to the work event, it ended up being a 6 hour trip. When we arrived, I offered her £40 which I thought would be more than enough for my share. She rejected and said I just fill up on the way back. That's fine I thought.

She text me yesterday very bluntly with the figure of £51.25 with her bank details.I told her surely it would be half of that as I only travelled with her one way up. Her logic is that because we agreed I would fill up on the way back, I should fill up, even though she didn't take me home.

I'm more than happy to pay the £40 for her taking me to the work event, as I believe that covered well over half of our journey, (even with the roadworks) but should I pay the amount she has quoted, even though she didn't take me home?

I know it's said on most threads, but the attention to minor details, not being socially aware, not needing sleep, being restless and verbal tics (which the OP would be mortified about) does sound as though she's ND.
Either way it's best the friendship ends. If you do verbal tics you can't spend your life being mortified.

Pun intended? 😉

It's not just petrol though. HMRC allow 45p per mile to cover all the other expenses involved in running a car. You'd be amazed at how much it really costs! Petrol is only a small bit of it.

Ask her for a receipt for sure.
She's mean scum.
Avoid completely going forward.

you agreed to pay for half the fuel for the trip. It doesn’t matter why you decided to leave early that’s what was agreed when you accepted car sharing with her. When I’ve done this in the past I’ve ensured my tank was full when I started out and the other party filled it up for the journey home.

I also see your point that you shouldn’t have to pay for the fuel on the return journey as you made your own way home and paid for this and she still had to get

I think I’m on the side of the other party if I’m honest, she made the plans to drive with the agreement that fuel costs would be shared (not taking into account the wear and tear of the car etc). If she had known you were only going to go one way before she could have made other arrangements (bus/train) which may well have been cheaper for her booking in advance. your the one that changed the plans last minute and left early making your own way home so you should still stick to what you originally agreed.

If you agreed to share the ride prior then you should pay imo . A 6 hour trip would cost more than £40 for sure too

@ThatDaringEagle

It's not about the £11.50 or whatever, it's the fact that she drove home herself, therefore I genuinely feel it's not on me to give her money for a ride I didn't take. I offered £40 the first time as I felt that was a fair amount. It was in fact over well-over the amount for splitting the journey one way, but I'm a generous person and even if I gave her more than what it was, it would have been a sign of me showing my gratitude about her doing the driving. The same way I told her she should take the larger room with all the space.
But she wants me to pay the full amount for a trip I did not take, which I have paid. Ironically, you tell me to "get a life" because I thought the same about her pettiness and wouldn't dream about asking someone to do that.

I guess people are different.

@straighttalker99 i think you’ve been reasonable. But saying you paid in full for a journey you didn’t take is not quite correct. You then paid nothing for a journey you did take with her. In the end you left for your own reasons whether you found her annoying or not is still your issue. I’m sure she wasn’t aiming to annoy you. She may have an unfortunate personality. Not saying I wouldn’t have left too. Regardless she expected you to do both journeys and that’s what you paid for as you should have. And I’m sure have learned a lesson to do things alone in future and remain in control of all aspects.

Well they're not really friends, are they

I’m a bit on the fence but I’d just pay it, it’s only £11 more than you agreed, it’s not worth it.

If you had chosen from the outset not to travel with her, would she have gone anyway?

If no, you should cough up as she banked on you paying half.

If yes, then paying only for the journey you shared is fair.

presume they can claim as are freelance

@CeciliaDuckiePond - she would have gone anyway but she asked me to share an apartment with her to keep the costs down and it was a very last minute thing and the pull for it was from her end.

I've since found out she has done similar things regarding money that I don't agree with, i.e. - asking for money back for a recreational event that the organiser had spent months planning, and she didn't go and pulled out due to illness, but still asked if she could have her booking deposit back.

If you both agreed to go together and share the costs - you paying for petrol on the way back - then pay her. She’s planned/budgeted based on the agreed plans, and now you’ve gone and changed them.

But in this case it’s you who wasn’t wanting to pay your share of what was planned as you pulled out.

Can’t you both claim it back against tax if you’re self-employed?

@rookiemere I offered her £40 as soon as we arrived, but she wanted a full tank of petrol even though she didn't take me home, which I have now paid.

@ImogenMaria I will claim it back - but I don't know about her tax affairs.

"Sorry, I can't afford that as the train I had to book was expensive. I can give you £40."

I’d ask her for an invoice for the cost.
For accountancy purposes
(I imagine you paid her from your business account right? and it went on her business account too)

Often people who are particular to the exact penny are exactly the people who would never owe you/ use you. They are just keen on being objectively fair to each other.
I don’t think she did anything wrong. She just stuck to what was initially agreed.

I haven't seen your other thread but did your early departure affect planned accommodation/ her overall time at the event?

The aporopriate way is

• the friend puts the fuel payment through her taxes, using receipts for fuel or mileage.
• the OP puts what she paid her through her own accounts, with an invoice from work friend
• work friend puts the invoice through her accounts TOO.
• OP can still put the train ticket through her accounts.

That way everything is accounted for. Both the work friend and the OP have put the coat of trip through.

The logic would be that it’s down to the penny because she has ‘proof’ of what she spent petrol station.
Nothing to do with someone who would never owe you. Just someone who knows how to deal with accounts. As you would if you’re self employed

I wouldn't argue over an extra £11.25. It's not worth it and you can deduct it for tax in any event!

Not that it matters now, but personally I don't like having friends like that, and I'm glad I have given her a wide berth since. She took the piss throughout our time together, she knew I was upset about a personal issue and still decided to make a lot of noise, took over the whole apartment etc.

I've since found out other things such as she tried to get money back from a social event which took months to organise and she didn't attend and expected her money back. Oh, and she doesn't declare what she should either. I spoke with her the other day about getting a receipt etc. It annoys me as i do everything by the book with an accountant and pay a lot of tax, trying to get onto the property ladder etc and she has told me casually that she just puts through ' a rough figure' to keep things under the threshold ?? She has shared her earnings with me in the past so I know she earns similar to me.