Is naming my baby after a casual friend weird

[NewPeachCat]

I am pregnant with my first, a baby girl. DH and I have chosen Hope for our daughter's first name. DH doesn't have an opinion on the middle name, and I really want it to be Lauren, after a friend. I went to school with said friend and always admired her, almost like an older sister. She was and still is a lovely person, smiley, kind, and fun to have around and I want my daughter to be like her. However since we aren't very close I am not set on the idea as I am worried this could come across as weird.

Our other alternatives are having my name as her middle name or use our second favorite name, Olive. I am torn and want to know if it would be weird if I choose to name her after the friend and would it be better if I just go with one of the alternatives.

I went to school with a delightful girl. She was small and dinky with lovely hair (I've always been the tall skinny one with a flat chest!) and she had a lovely name. I was 9/10 at the time?
Fast forward 20 odd years and I was having twins, both girls. By coincidence, my MIL, who sadly died when dh was 18, had a similar name (think Isabel/Isabella type of thing) so I called her Isabella (not really but you get my drift), ostensibly after my mil but really it was after that girl I met when I was 9.

I’ll be honest, this jumped out to me as being unusual.

And then you added that Laur isn’t even one of your favourite names, it’s just becuase you like this woman.

And then said you fantasise about your daughter having the same qualities as this woman.

This all sounds very odd OP and i think you know it. The fact that everybody is going to know why you’ve done it because you’ve been so vocal in your admiration for this woman means that you’ve been a bit over the top, in my opinion.

If I were you, I wouldn’t do this, as it sounds like mutual friends and Lauren are going to find it strange and they might start giving you a wide berth, and I suspect you know this which is why you’ve asked.

Just choose a name you like.

But you're giving your DD a name that isn't one of your favourites just to honour this friend, that IS a bit odd. There's no way I would give my precious baby any name that I didn't actually love!

It’s not that odd. My daughter and my two nieces all have namesake middle names. They are all ‘ok’, not particularly favourites. Two are grandmothers and one is a sibling who died. I definitely don’t ’love’ my daughter’s middle name. The name is very important, nonetheless.

Yes….that’s exactly the point.

Your middle names are in honour of grandmothers and sibling who died, even though they may not have been your preferred names.

Fine, standard, very normal.

Other people simple choose names that they love.

Again, fine.

The strange thing is using a name that you do not love, to honour a casual friend that you are not close to, and you are worried about her, and others, finding it weird.

It is weird.

You know perfectly well that naming your daughter after someone won’t make it any more likely that she will be like that person!

Forget about naming her after anyone and just choose a name you like. If that is 'Lauren', fine, just say it’s a name you’ve always liked and don’t mention the friend.

I named my daughter, not "after" an old school friend, but because I always loved her name, and we were really close at school so I always had a fondness for her and her name. Haven't barely bumped into her since school, but the one time I did, I had my daughter with me and she loved the fact she'd finally met the person who inspired her name. My friend seemed flattered when I told her she was the reason I chose that name for DD. Don't think it was weird at all tbh.

In that case no no no, don’t do it.

Give her a middle name you actually like or that means something in your family.

It sounds like you would have liked to be better friends with her than she was ever interested in being with you, and there’s something just desperate about giving your DD her name for that reason.

Not really. The name embodies something very positive for the OP.

You say you’ve always loved that name, so that’s perfectly reasonable.

OP doesn’t love the name Lauren, so it’s completely different. She’s wanting to give her DD this name almost as an act of hero-worship/fangirling, and that really is a bit weird.

I was once on a bus sitting next to a super cool woman with a gorgeous little girl called Hope. I really like the name. Also Lauren is a great name. I don't think it's a problem that you call your DD after your friend, just don't ever tell either of them!

I think you are over thinking it op.. I highly doubt your friend is going to sit around after hearing and speculate.. I bet she’s named her after me, the weirdo. And if she does either lie or just tell her the truth.

All these doomsayers. I don’t particularly like my name but I am named afterwards a classmate of DM’s because, apparently, she was lovely.

I loved my mum and its rather special to think she liked someone so much for just being really nice that I was given her name. I am the embodiment of her opinion. (Got something in my eye now …)

Oh, and Lauren is sweet.

It’s fine. Unless you’ve literally spend the last decade walking a round in an I LOVE LAUREN Tshirt and trying to get people to join the Lauren fan club and having ‘Lauren and NewPeachCat - BFFs’ tattoos, people will just think you like the name.