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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is naming my baby after a casual friend weird

64 replies

NewPeachCat · 07/09/2025 11:48

I am pregnant with my first, a baby girl. DH and I have chosen Hope for our daughter's first name. DH doesn't have an opinion on the middle name, and I really want it to be Lauren, after a friend. I went to school with said friend and always admired her, almost like an older sister. She was and still is a lovely person, smiley, kind, and fun to have around and I want my daughter to be like her. However since we aren't very close I am not set on the idea as I am worried this could come across as weird.

Our other alternatives are having my name as her middle name or use our second favorite name, Olive. I am torn and want to know if it would be weird if I choose to name her after the friend and would it be better if I just go with one of the alternatives.

OP posts:
Hairshare · 07/09/2025 13:20

Your Lauren sounds like a special person to you. Would your friends sneer at you for that? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, admiring her and wanting your DD to have her name.

Original poster
NewPeachCat · 07/09/2025 13:36

Hairshare · 07/09/2025 13:20

Your Lauren sounds like a special person to you. Would your friends sneer at you for that? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, admiring her and wanting your DD to have her name.

Thank you
I wouldn't say sneer but there might be some teasing and that might make it weird

OP posts:
zingally · 07/09/2025 13:57

My middle name is the name of my mums favourite sister. :)

Said sister had a baby 9 months after I was born. That baby has my first name as her middle name.

I don't think it's at all weird to name babies after people you've met along the way who you've liked or admired. Even if it was someone from long ago, who you no longer have contact with.
And it anyone makes the link, so what? You could always reply with someone like, "I've never met a Lauren I didn't like." And if original Lauren finds out, I'm sure she'd be delighted and honoured to know how much you admired her.

IMO it's no different than rejecting names because they remind you of someone you didn't like. My DH suggested Francesca for our DD, which I vetoed, because there was a girl in the year above at primary school with that name, and she was a bit of a bully. Someone I hadn't seen for a good 25 years!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 07/09/2025 13:58

I’d be really pleased if even a casual acquaintance called their child my name I’d take it as a compliment that I have a lovely name.
if they worded it a ‘we love your name and you’re lovely too’ way that would feel normal, if it was ‘we’re calling he after you to honour you and our friendship’ that would feel bizarre. Just depends how you say it.
eg ‘Lauren guess what we’re choosing for our middle name! Gorgeous name for gorgeous girls only!’ Something like that!

CaroleLandis · 07/09/2025 14:08

I would accept that you have a crush on this woman but your daughter deserves a name that doesn’t have a strange connotation.

Original poster
NewPeachCat · 07/09/2025 14:13

CaroleLandis · 07/09/2025 14:08

I would accept that you have a crush on this woman but your daughter deserves a name that doesn’t have a strange connotation.

I am married and I don't have a crush on my friend?

OP posts:
Pinkissmart · 07/09/2025 14:19

2chocolateoranges · 07/09/2025 11:54

I think it’s strange to give your child a middle name that doesn’t have a special meaning relating to someone very close to you.

ds has dh’s name as his middle name and dd has one of her grandmas names as her middle name,

I hate my middle name, always contemplated changing it or removing it and so dh gave me all the say in middle names so both are my choice.

Nah

A middle name can just be a name you like.

hideawayforever · 07/09/2025 14:50

I love the name Hope but don't like Lauren

mindutopia · 07/09/2025 14:54

I mean it’s a bit weird, yes. But only because you are ‘naming her after her’. Nothing weird about using a name you love that just happens to be a casual friend’s name.

I mean, one of my dc shares the same name as my alcoholic ex from school 20 years ago. At first, it did feel a bit weird. But it’s also dh’s dad’s name. So it’s not actually weird as not ‘named after’ my psycho ex.

Notagain75 · 07/09/2025 14:59

If you like the name use it but I wouldn't use it just to name her after a school friend you are not particularly close to , because she is smiley

PurpleChrayn · 07/09/2025 15:04

Hope Olive is a really weird name. Sounds like the title of a Terry Pratchett novel. “The Hope Olive”.

Hope on its own is great, or with a different middle name that isn’t a noun.

JDM625 · 07/09/2025 15:20

Hadalifeonce · 07/09/2025 13:14

My daughter is named after someone I met on holiday. We kept in touch for a year or so after we came back.

I just loved the name.

You loved the name though which I can understand.

The OP has already said that she actually isn't keen on the name at all! Just thinks the woman named Laura is cool! 😕

WFHforevermore · 07/09/2025 15:29

I love the name Olive!!

GiantYorkshirePud · 07/09/2025 15:29

If you love a name, then use it! It’s your baby and your decision.

I named my DD ‘Charlotte’, her nickname is ‘Charlie’, it suits her so so well. I hesitated as one of my best friends from secondary school/college was called Charlotte/Charlie, but I havent spoken to her in over 13 years, and no longer have a connection with her. I did wonder if it was weird but we loved the name so much, and i’m so glad we used it.

CheeseWisely · 07/09/2025 15:31

Just caught up with the fact that it's not even one of your favourite names? Then it's mad and more than a bit weird to use it for your baby just because it's the name of someone you, to quote a PP, do sound a bit infatuated with.

Our DS has the same name as a friend/ex-colleague of mine. It's a lovely name, lots of people are called it and was the only name that DH and I both kept coming back to. Friend is absolutely tickled by it, but doesn't in any way think we named the baby after him or that it's weird. But then we didn't actively name the baby after him so...

CecilyP · 07/09/2025 15:33

However much you liked your friend, if you did not like the name, Lauren, you would not be using it!

RitaFires · 07/09/2025 15:41

I would go with a name that you like rather than the name of a cool girl from school that you admire.

DameSylvieKrin · 07/09/2025 15:47

Is there an adjective that for you sums up the qualities of your friend that would work as a name in some form? Not an actual virtue name as you are using one for her first name, but like Elea, Alice/Alison, Carissa, Ada, Farah, Alaia, Felicia etc.
Or is there a character in a book or film that reminds you of Lauren?
It is a bit odd if Lauren isn’t a close friend and you don’t actually like the name.
I understand that you are expressing a wish for your daughter that is between the two of you, but it seems like by using the name Lauren you’ll make it everyone else’s business too, which might sour it for you.

ManyATrueWord · 07/09/2025 15:57

Lauren like Lauren Bacall surely?

References are personal. If you have a name that someone else uses for their child the big compliment is that you aren't so awful as to put them off using it!

CarpetKnees · 07/09/2025 16:01

I agree with the first reply.

You like the name, then use it. It is a common enough name that no-one is going to make the leap to it being in homage to someone that isn't even close to you Hmm
Bit different if it were Petulia or Corinthia or something you don't hear in life generally, but a couple of people knew it was someone you had a bit of a crush on. Even then, it would only be the 1/2 dozen people that knew it.
No-one is going to think anything of a normal name like Lauren.

I mean, I suspect lots of us a subconsciously influenced in our name choice by either not using the name of someone we don't like, or by using a name that also belongs to someone we like / admire / are fond of.

ByLimeAnt · 07/09/2025 16:02

This actually happened to me. I didn't find it weird, just flattered that the name had a positive association.

GucciTennisShoesRunninFromYourIssues · 07/09/2025 16:28

NewPeachCat · 07/09/2025 13:03

Yes of course I will encourage my daughter to be her own person; I do fantasise about my daughter having her qualities but I will still love her the same if she doesn't. This is why her first name, Hope, is not being named after anyone

Show quote history

This is borderline creepy.

Hadalifeonce · 07/09/2025 16:34

JDM625 · 07/09/2025 15:20

You loved the name though which I can understand.

The OP has already said that she actually isn't keen on the name at all! Just thinks the woman named Laura is cool! 😕

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OK, bit weird!

BoudiccaRuled · 07/09/2025 16:38

If asked, just say you always liked the name.

MistyMountainTop · 07/09/2025 16:46

I only found out 30 years later that a brief friend had named her second daughter after me! I wasn't offended 😄 and yes, it was a little dated when she gave her the name, most other women called it are about 20 years older

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