Student complaining-religion

[totoromama]

I train adults in professional services and they do professional exams.
I'm really upset about something a student said today. I need to vent but don't think I can take it further.
I taught anything successful 4 day course with an exam.
The student in question got a really high score, she was so happy!
I leant over her to look at the score she was telling me and my pendant necklace came out of my top.
Her whole demeanor changed.
She stood up and exclaimed that if she had known I was x she wouldn't have done the course and she was going to complain.
I'm so upset.my religion has nothing to do with my job. I feel scared.
She'll complain and it'll effect me at work not for my performance.
I'm not sure my aibu.

Wearing a hijab is not a strict requirement of Islam. Regardless, we are supposed to live in a free country so anyone is entitled to wear something which represents their religious identity without facing any discrimination.

OP has not faced discrimination from her employer (certainly not yet). The student has told her how she feels. England is supposed to be a free country, as @JSMill says, and she is allowed to do that.

Having said that, there will be rules for students to abide by, which the OP will probably be familiar with. The college might bring a disciplinary process against the student.

What are the implications or consequences you think should flow from this distinction?

This is what you need to do.

You also have a right to discuss this with the professional body, and decide whether to make a report to them. You also have a right to report this to the police as a hate crime, and you absolutely should do that.

I'd go through the employer first though, and ensure he understands you are taking these steps; he should ideally discuss it with her and report it to the professional body as well as supporting you as a police witness, nevertheless he can give you evidence of her statements.

Why?

The only person who needs to worry about the requirements of your faith is you.

If the society you live in allows you to dress in a way which respects what you believe to be the requirements of your faith, great. If it doesn't, move somewhere else.

If the society you live in does allow you to express your faith in a visible way, it must also allow the same freedom to others. Whether or not you believe their religion requires it is not your business. Many Muslims don't consider that their own religion requires women to cover their heads, and that doing so is a choice. So you're going to have a hard time convincing a non Muslim society that only you should be allowed to express your faith through the way that you dress because your religion requires it, but that others should not be allowed to do so because their religion does not require it, when other members of your own religion do not agree that it is required.

I think that last post has crystallised, for me, not just the racism but also the cake-ism in this woman's attitude.

As a Muslim woman who chooses to wear a hijab, she's probably better off in the UK than just about anywhere else in the world. She has equal rights to men and legal protection against sex based discrimination, which she probably wouldn't have in just about any Islamic country you can think of. At the same time she has legal protection against discrimination on grounds of her religious beliefs. The Equality Act gives her all these rights, clearly enshrined in law. She is living in a country where Islam is not a majority religion and most people do not share her beliefs, but if she wants to wear a hijab at school or at work, or a burkini on the beach, she is allowed to do so (unlike in certain other Western countries). British people are, on the whole, pretty tolerant and accepting, but if anyone commits a crime against her motivated by either her race or religion, this is considered a hate crime, attracting a harsher punishment under the law. The UK is even - in stark contrast to the rest of the western world - clamping down on men in women's single sex spaces. Not for her benefit, but it will certainly benefit her.

It is difficult to think of any country where she would be better off living than the UK, and yet, should she decide she is better off elsewhere, there are many other countries where Islam is the official religion.

Jewish people, on the other hand, have precisely one country in the world where Judaism is the official religion, which was controversially granted to them after they had spent centuries being hounded out of just about every other country, and recently been the victims of a major genocide. And now, according to many people, they are wrong for supporting the existence of that country, or wanting to live there, or even continuing to practise their own religion in an unobtrusive way even if they don't support the existence of Israel or want to live there.

To the point where this woman, enjoying her full rights to live in and practise her religion in the UK and wear her hijab in a professional environment, has a visceral reaction to a Jewish woman not just wearing a Star of David, but essentially being allowed to exist in the UK.

Because she didn't say the OP shouldn't be wearing a Star of David, which would have been hypocritical enough. She suggested that if she'd known the OP was Jewish she wouldn't have consented to being taught by her. Which really suggests that she thinks the OP shouldn't be in the UK. But also shouldn't be in Israel, presumably.

So where does she think Jewish people should be allowed to live?

Another post where the poster assumes that anyone can move anywhere in the world if they don't like living in the UK. For most people it is not practicable, and probably not possible, to emigrate to a different country (since Brexit). Jewish people who want to emigrate do at least have one country which is open to them and will welcome them.

This again. And I’d hope she’d get a really severe dressing down before being shown the door.

I wanted to repost this as IMO it is a very clear, articulate summary of the underlying issue with the student and the problem faced by many Jews right now. Scary times.

Brexit isn't relevant to the point I was making because no EU countries are Islamic countries.

I think it is unlikely that there are British Muslims who do not have and are not entitled to claim any other citizenship and couldn't get a visa to move to a majority Islam country if they wanted to live somewhere more sympathetic to their religious beliefs.

A brilliant wonderful post @MissScarletInTheBallroom Thank you.

I wanted to quote it, just so it is seen again, and I hope that @totoromama takes some comfort from it.

I think that what really also worried me about the OP's posts is that she is scared - scared that her bigoted student will complain to her employer, and scared that, as a consequence, her employer will reprimand her, ban her from wearing a symbol of her faith, or even worse, sack her, or limit her ability to earn a living.

Scared because she is Jewish.

That's how Jew hatred works so insidiously, right there.

It's why Jews need to know there is a place of sanctuary ie Israel.

Before the establishment of Israel, Britain used to be a place of sanctuary for Jews from religious persecution & then genocide. It's a national shame that that is no longer the case.

You say that in a totally off the cuff kind of way. In fact, you have no idea how many would have the right to emigrate to a country their grandparents left 75 years ago, let alone all the practicalities of that. I understand from someone I know who emigrated from the former USSR to Israel that she was made very welcome from the start, with a long period of acclimatisation with no money worries on a kibbutz, with Hebrew lessons.

It's an interesting question. Imagine the situation where a college has 2 female teachers. Their classes include lots of Jewish and lots of Muslim students. One teacher is Jewish and the other is Muslim. The Jewish woman usually wears a Star of David pendant, because her religion is important to her. The Muslim woman always wears a hijab, believing it to be necessary for a good Muslim woman to wear one in the presence of men. The college receives complaints about both the pendant and the hijab. The women refuse to stop wearing those things. The college unwisely dismisses both women. They both bring religious discrimination claims. All other things being equal, which woman is likely to be awarded more compensation for injury to feelings?

I would hazard a guess that it’s the Muslim woman @Strictlysober although the Jewish woman would also have recourse under race protected characteristic, as well as religious belief.

Although a college that responded to students’ complaints in that way, instead of using it as a teachable moment for the students about liberal tolerance and British values of tolerance and freedom would be a very bad educational institution.

Although the rest of the Middle East tries every day to destroy Israel. Hamas has just been doing their dirty work for them.

@ParmaVioletTea I agree with you on all of that.

No need for this shrinking violet, ‘silly me’ thing.
Stand up to yourself, never mind anyone else, regarding your right, and your choice, to wear it.
If you wear it intending that it remain invisible in a work environment where it’d cause a hostile reaction, then either determine to straighten out this illogical thinking in your head, or (seriously, but kindly meant) buy yourself a longer chain for it.

EDIT
Im spouting bollocks I think, having just read a couple of posts about court cases below. Apologies. Carry on.

I’m not certain about that. (But Id have thought this kind of thing was enforced only in public services, such as hospitals).
Haven’t there been instances of nurses being told their (Christian) cross pendants may not be worn, to avoid offending others’ religious intolerances?

The reasoning seems to be that bijouterie such as crosses and stars etc are not an essential expression of this or that faith, but a personal choice not directly relating to a legally respected holy book’s rules, whereas a hijab might be less easy to discard for many Muslim women.

The message seems to be no religious adornments should be displayed, with one or two unavoidable exceptions.

Thanks for your questions, though - made me think more about the whole issue.

@totoromama

Please don't blame yourself. The fault lies with the person who chose to be prejudiced, not you. While I totally understand why people might feel the need to hide or be circumspect about their religious identity, it's not acceptable that an atmosphere has been fostered that makes you feel like that in the first place. None of this is your fault.

"Need" vs. "want" is what leads to the religious symbols bans in France and Quebec. It's not a good way to go. (And although these bans are primarily aimed at Muslims, they affect Jews as well, since observant Jews cover their heads.)

I hope OP will update us on how the employer deals with this. It won't be an easy one for them.

I hope it’s very easy for the employer. Either religious freedom exists or doesn’t. Either they support their staff or they are liable for a massive complaint. It’s not hard at all.

Why do you think it will not be an easy one for them?

If they want to play good cop they tell this woman, "Our teachers are allowed to wear signs of their faith the same way you are."

If they want to play bad cop they say, "We don't tolerate antisemitism or any other kind of religious discrimination against either our staff or our students. You will need to complete your course somewhere else."