To expect her to sniff him?!

[Easueb]

Not a massive issue but one that is putting me off my mum looming after Ds and want to know if I’m BU!

DS (2) gets bad nappy rash at nursery. After a few days at home or even a weekend, it clears up quickly. I know it’s because he’s often not changed immediately.

My mum is always asking to have DS on his own. I’ve asked her to sniff him regularly to check he doesn’t need a nappy doing as I don’t want him to get happy rash. She literally will not get close to the area to sniff, she just sniffs his jumper or neck area. I’ve told her you can’t always tell unless you get closer to him. I know it’s not the most pleasant but surely this is a reasonable request when looking after a toddler?

Surely you could smell the nappy without getting too close to the nappy area?? Mine used to pong really bad

If she isn't willing to check if he needs changed and isn't willing to follow your (IMO reasonable) request, then she doesn't get to care for him alone. YANBU

Good heavens
OP
No words

You need to focus your attention on the negligent nursery op

Yes usually but given the nappy rash issue I want to be sure @shellyleppard

Spoken to the nursery but nothing has changed so far

Shit nursery
as I say… that should be your focus

It’s a bit weird to get stuck on this with your mum when it’s the nursery not doing their job properly. But if you don’t like her “sniffing” technique and are concerned about the nappy rash maybe you could ask her to change the nappy every hour regardless?

@AMillionTomorrows that’s actually a good solution! Thank you!

Sniffing your own kids fine but I wouldn't want to sniff anyone else's either.

I don't blame her! Firstly tackle the nursery and then (instead of all this sniffing) just ask her nicely to change the nappy more regularly.

First baby, huh?

Do you mean to smell if he's done a poo? Surely she can look down the back of his nappy? If it's for wees, you can feel how saturated the nappy is by giving it a bit of a squeeze.

Personally I never did the sniff. I just checked by touch / visual check. The sniff thing grossed me out.

Comprehension is not your strong point.

Surely just a quick prod of the nappy will tell you whether it needs to be changed or not if it’s full of wee.
if sniffing for a poo, that’s usually pretty bloody obvious and shouldn’t need to get too close to figure that out

It's been a while... but isn't wee just as bad for nappy rash as poo? So just change regularly.

If I'd put my nose any closer to the last nappy I changed, It would have stripped my nasal lining! 😷

Can’t she just check his nappy? Does she have to sniff in an approved way?

I wouldn't be putting my nose anywhere near human shit and piss, either.

Seriously, just because it comes out of your precious child, that doesn't mean it's any different from any other human excrement. It's literally the same substance that comes out of an adult, and asking other people to sniff at it is fucking disgusting.

Raise your complaint again with the nursery manager and ask their ideas on how to resolve this. (ask around to see if any other parents have the same issue)

Ask your mum what other suggestions she has for checking if the nappy needs changing when he's at her home and how she proposes to make sure that he doesn't get nappy rash after being there.

If he develops nappy rash after being with her, let her know and ask that it doesn't happen again. If it keeps on, find alternative. That way you have asked her to pay attention to it and given her a chance to do so, but you can't let the situation continue.

If the nursery doesn't respond. Take it further.. ( Someone on here will have advice about nursery regulations)

There are other ways to check if a baby needs a nappy change. YABU

There are other ways to check if a baby needs a nappy change. YABU

Jesus OP!! Ffs you simply can’t expect other people to randomly sniff your child’s arse!!

Your mum can simply ‘have a peep’ at a safe enough ‘nose to arse’ distance that would NOT require her to sniff shit!!

I despair sometimes!

Right so mum sniff his bum and get a faceful of urine or poop smell - no thanks not from me you can tell by patting the nappy etc - if he is being changed regularly in her care you are being unreasonable as its not in her care there is a problem

Assuming there’s not some drip feed coming and actually she’s lost her sense of smell due to long covid then a toddler’s poo is detectable at quite some distance. She doesn’t need to stick her face at his bum. She can also look periodically if she wants. And due to the rash you could also ask her to change every 2 hours for wet or whatever you want so long as you’re providing enough nappies. Either you trust or you don’t and frankly it’s really bizarre thing to be hung up on. Nursery is a separate issue though and I hope you find a solution there.