Grandparents not visiting but besotted with grandchild

[Tooearlyformincepies]

I moved to the UK about 14 years ago with the plan to move back home eventually (a country in central Europe)
Despite lots of effort from our side, this hasn't happened (my husband almost lost his job in the UK when a job over there fell through at the last minute)
I feel very guilty for living far away and consequently visit my mum and dad over there regularly - about every 3 months at the least , it's a 2 hour flight. My husband has always been very understanding and supportive and our son (5) loves to go.
The problem is that my parents, (77 and 70- but thankfully absolutely fighting fit!) are very reluctant to visit. They visit once a year at the very most. My mum does get slightly nervous about the travelling but at the same time they go to Italy, Croatia etc on big bus/ car journeys every year and to be honest I'm starting to get irritated about this - they constantly say how much they miss the grandchild but are so hesitant to visit?
AIBU to think they really could visit more?

I'm mid 60s now and avoid flying if possible. I have some slight mobility issues - not enough to need to book assistance but enough to stress me out that I will get to gates etc on time. I am often flying easyJet as it takes me to the place I need to go to from my local airport (and no other carrier does) but their gates are a distance away from the main terminal area and you often only get the gate details 30 or so minutes before the flight. I am then "rushing" like mad to get there. If I have cabin luggage I am carrying it up and down stairs to the flight (no air bridge!). I don't enjoy it at all. On the other hand cruises and coach holidays are so relaxing by comparison.

Hi OP. Do you actually ask or invite them to visit? I know you shouldn’t need to, but if they’re anything like my parents, who have become really passive with age, they may just need an invite to prompt them, as they may not want to put on you, by coming to stay. So if you ask them, it may spark more visits. It’s a bit frustrating with passiveness all the time, but I just get on with the planning and inviting now, or nothing would happen. But I have to say my parents are of a similar age and I don’t think they would travel as regularly as yours have done either.

Couple of thoughts:

1. Do they get on well with you Hubby?
2. could they be worried about making noise if and when they have to get up in the night to use the loo?
3. could one of them be embarrassed by how many times they are using the loo or using incontinence products and no where to dispose of them?
4. (my parents issue) was the dislike of what time we had dinner. One trip my father got up and went to bed he was so annoyed that dinner wasn’t ready. They were used to eating around 4.30pm but we don’t eat dinner until 7pm and that was usually to accomodate my DH’s arrival home from work..

just some thoughts…

Older people have
less energy and can find travelling stressful
is there anything you could do to enable them to visit more often
try and look at what you can do to encourage-and enable more contact so they feel less criticised maybe you could arrange to meet them somewhere halfway for a get together ?