Page 4 | Men who abandon their kids

sleepwouldbenice · 03/09/2025 00:58

Some of these stories are so frustrating and incredibly heartbreaking
I just dont understand them.
Of course time is more important than money (though both are vital) but this really is a critical issue to me and I would vote tomorrow for any party that sorted cms properly. Even USA has got it sorted better!

Pryceosh1987 · 03/09/2025 01:21

A child is big business. Especially in the early years, i grew up around a younger brother who cried alot and he hated me. Then they grow up and as a parent there are so many things to do. There has to be a lot of love in a persons heart to not mind going through it.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 03/09/2025 01:42

Rafhjj · 02/09/2025 13:19

It never ceases to amaze me that men from all walks of life are capable of this. Yes of course women are too… but what is it about men that it seems to happen far more often? I cannot comprehend how someone can leave their own child and carry on with their life and ignore their existence. My sister brought up her Dd alone and the dad quite literally just got on with his life after meeting baby when she was a few weeks old.

The majority of men have no interest in the day-to-day of actually parenting children.

They want sex, so they pander to women to get it, including saying they are open to the possibility of becoming a father. Child arrives, father unsurprisingly has no interest, leaves, moves on to other things.

Rainbowqueeen · 03/09/2025 01:53

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/09/2025 13:32

I think that most men don’t actually want to be parents anywhere near half as much as most women do. Many men tend to go along with it because their partner wants children but wouldn’t have been fussed otherwise. If they grew up in a fairly traditional set up themselves, where being a father didn’t involve much in the way of doing childcare, it comes as a bit of a shock that they’re expected to pitch in with a baby. They then struggle to bond, and feel resentful at the upheaval in their lives, and it’s not difficult just to blot something you aren’t bonded to and resent out of your life when you move on.

I don't think it's so much that they don't want to be parents, it's that they don't want to do the parenting work. They are perfectly happy to take photos and throw a ball and do the fun uncle stuff. But the daily grind? No.

somethingnewandexciting · 03/09/2025 02:09

In all honesty the common theme is that a lot of men don't think of anyone other than themselves, even their own flesh and blood. Just see how many don't get gifts for their own family and leave it to their partner.

Men are more inherently selfish, because society has enabled them to get away with it and normalised it. If we normalised them being imprisoned for not paying for their kids or having a double tax rate to pay for their kids via welfare, they'd all kick up a massive stink...yes, for paying for the kids they co-created. It's so normalised that they can just walk away that the only person shocked is the mother of their kid.

PollyBell · 03/09/2025 02:21

How much effort do women put into ensuring the person they breed with has the same expectations and willingness to actually parent and everything it can possibly involve and willingness to alter and expect the unexpected once the child is born? and if the men dont step up then why on earth keep on having children with them?

Maybe men abandon the relationship not the children? is it better on the women to stay in a bad relationship with a man when it is not working just because they have chiild/ren together (I would ask better for the children but it seems parents want was is best for themselves)

The label 'disney dad' seems to be used constantly so maybe 50/50 should be the standard but then women complain they don't want 50/50, so if not 50/50 how can dads not be a disney dad?

There is lots of talk of TTC and biological clocks but how much effort into the thoughts around parenting and not just ''babies are cute I want one and I want it now'

How many stories of we had sex and now he does not want to play daddy, shock horror this is a surprise?

Society can go on about equality all it wants women are the only ones who can have a child

somethingnewandexciting · 03/09/2025 02:31

The men have arrived!
What would we do without them.

somethingnewandexciting · 03/09/2025 02:32

@PollyBell you've summed up very well why the birth rate is falling IMO!

PollyBell · 03/09/2025 02:34

somethingnewandexciting · 03/09/2025 02:31

The men have arrived!
What would we do without them.

Why men? are women not intelligent enough not to all think the same?

PollyBell · 03/09/2025 02:35

somethingnewandexciting · 03/09/2025 02:32

@PollyBell you've summed up very well why the birth rate is falling IMO!

Are men the reason it is falling or women waiting longer and then having fertility issues?

Anchorage56 · 03/09/2025 07:19

KitTea3 · 02/09/2025 23:12

And yet...in a way...that still relies on women..

As women, if we don't want to get pregnant then clearly the only option if condoms are the answer is to refuse point blank any sex without a condom.

Problem solved....

Show quote history

Yes if you dont want to have sex without a condom then yes you would refuse to have sex without one. Not sure what your point is.

JHound · 03/09/2025 11:01

PollyBell · 03/09/2025 02:21

How much effort do women put into ensuring the person they breed with has the same expectations and willingness to actually parent and everything it can possibly involve and willingness to alter and expect the unexpected once the child is born? and if the men dont step up then why on earth keep on having children with them?

Maybe men abandon the relationship not the children? is it better on the women to stay in a bad relationship with a man when it is not working just because they have chiild/ren together (I would ask better for the children but it seems parents want was is best for themselves)

The label 'disney dad' seems to be used constantly so maybe 50/50 should be the standard but then women complain they don't want 50/50, so if not 50/50 how can dads not be a disney dad?

There is lots of talk of TTC and biological clocks but how much effort into the thoughts around parenting and not just ''babies are cute I want one and I want it now'

How many stories of we had sex and now he does not want to play daddy, shock horror this is a surprise?

Society can go on about equality all it wants women are the only ones who can have a child

Read the thread.

JHound · 03/09/2025 11:16

PollyBell · 03/09/2025 02:35

Are men the reason it is falling or women waiting longer and then having fertility issues?

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Why do you think it’s fertility issues? Why do you think it’s women alone, “waiting”?

This report suggests “fertility issues” a not a primary factor.
I guess understanding it’s more complex just not suit your “blame women”
agenda.

news.sky.com/story/global-birth-rates-crisis-people-do-still-want-to-have-children-but-many-cant-heres-why-13381290

JHound · 03/09/2025 11:23

Even here where it discusses people leaving it late in the UK it discusses “people” not “women” and be it does not appear they are randomly waiting. But waiting for the right situation within which to have children.

https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2024-12-10-expert-comment-why-are-people-uk-leaving-it-so-late-have-children

RhaenysRocks · 03/09/2025 13:24

PollyBell · 03/09/2025 02:35

Are men the reason it is falling or women waiting longer and then having fertility issues?

Show quote history

Maybe women are waiting because they are doing precisely what they are being told to do .build independence in their careers, make sure they know the man really well, not rushing into it. But thats apparently then also wrong? So what should they do then?

JustPassingThruHere · 03/09/2025 13:26

Society gives them no incentive to stay and be responsible. We can disparage the nuclear family all we want but it put standards in place that meant there were repercussions most weren't going to risk for acting shamefully.

Sodastreamin · 03/09/2025 13:29

My DD had this when she was 1. She’s now almost 11. It was hard at first as she couldn’t understand where he’d gone. Then at 2/3/4 she would look at other daddies playing with their kids and quietly cry 😢 Of course he tells anyone he meets that I “wouldn’t let him see her” which is so blatantly false and in actual fact is the opposite of my stance in the early years - I begged him to be a dad (don’t, I know that was stupud now). Even his parents believed him!