To have a drink and drive?

[Drinkinndrive]

About 18 months ago I moved a 10 min drive away from my previous house, it was in a nice little village where there are some social events that I used to attend.
Every month I go to a quiz night in my old village, when I lived there I'd have one or 2 drinks sometimes and walk home but now that I have to drive I rarely have a drink now.
Except maybe once every 3rd month or so I fancy a gin so I have a single gin & tonic always when I first get there and the night ends at least 2 but sometimes 2 1/2 hours later and then I drive home.

If I've ever mentioned having a drink to my DP he has a go at me saying I shouldn't ever touch a drink if im driving and I completely agree as a general rule but I only have 1 (I've looked up the units and as far as I am aware it wouldn't put me over the limit) I always have something to eat too and I've never felt tipsy/drunk after this one drink.

There is no backstory, im not an alcoholic, i rarely drink at all (for context I brought a bottle of gin maybe 6 months ago and it is in my cupboard about a quarter drunk) I never drink while out at a restaurant etc and I don't go on nights out, this one quiz night a month is my night out 🤣

So be honest am I being unreasonable?

My cousin had two of his children and his best mate killed by a driver who had been drinking. The driver also died instantly, so my cousin didn't get any justice for this heinous crime.

If you want a drink, don't drive. Why would you take that risk?

He is obviously just worried about her (and others on the road)... no need to make everything on MN into a DH hate campaign.

Ok maybe but it sounds potentially controlling to me, and I've been on here long enough to see the tip of the controlling iceberg sometimes.

Our rule is none but whatever suits you as long as you’re not over the limit is your choice.

Oh just stop. He is worried about her DRINKING AND DRIVING. That is not controlling. WTF

A single measure of booze consumed 2 hours ago is not going to affect your driving unless something else is going on, eg you have been fasting for 48 hours or are allergic to alcohol.

I think you'd be absolutely fine, but if you're only 10 minutes away I'd get a cab and have 10 😂

Get a taxi.

The legal alcohol limit is going to be reduced soon I understand.

This.

I presume that where @Shoxfordian is coming from is a concern that he's taking a situation that really isn't "drink-driving" and attempting to portray it as if it is.

I don't think that is the case here, but I don't think it's that massive a stretch for @Shoxfordian to make.

I mean legally sure it's probably fine. Personally I think the drink drive limit should be zero and I never drink if driving. I'm confused as to how you agree generally that you shouldn't drink at all yet do it anyway.

It's not like he is telling her not to go out... just not to drive herself home if she has drank alcohol

@Drinkinndrive

I think it would be better to book an Uber / taxi. An infrequent quiz night shouldn't require all this analysis and headspace.

What’s going on with your partner telling you what or what not to do?

There is no risk. One of the most annoying things in the world to me is people who say “it’s not worth the risk” about things that very clearly have no risk. My mother-in-law is notorious for this “oh yes better cook the turkey for an hour longer than package instructions, not worth the risk”, or “you’re planning on offering someone a lift home eight hours after I saw you drinking a small cocktail at a party, it’s not worth the risk!” There is literally no risk. Things are either safe or unsafe, there’s no grey are. If the meat has reached a certain temperature, it’s safe, it can’t get more safe. And if there’s been three times the amount of time that alcohol would take to clear your system, there is no risk to driving either.

You would probably be ok but I wouldn’t drink and drive as it is so variable how people react to alcohol. If it is only 10 minutes away can’t your husband drop off and pick up or you get a taxi or just don’t bother drinking. I would rather have one at home afterwards.

No i dont need one but sometimes when im at the bar ordering a drink I just fancy a gin as I enjoy it for the taste. I suppose I am influenced by my friends who always drink as they live in the village but as I said I dont do it every month just on occasion when I fancy one.

He would never drop/pick me up so I wouldn't even bother asking.
I can taste it but its not very strong i suppose, just something I enjoy every now and then.

I’d just get a taxi and have 2 or 3 drinks if it’s once a month and not far. Maybe ask your partner for a lift one way and get a cab back?

There is the legal limit and there's what you're comfortable with. I think broadly speaking, 1 drink is fine, unless you're a tiny tiny person. I personally wouldn't if I was driving and I am tall.

I also think your partner is probably saying that to be on the safe side i.e., don't want anything bad potentially happening / he'll have peace of mind knowing you aren't driving after a drink.

He would never drop/pick me up so I wouldn't even bother asking.

This would concern me more than his complaint about you having a drink. Most partners would be happy to give each other the occasional lift.

Your husband would never give you a 10 min lift?

As so often, this isn't about a G&T, is it?

Personally, I think the law should be reduced to zero in line with Scotland as I can’t stand drink drivers so I agree with your hubby here.

It's not what I would do, but if I'd did for reassurance sake I'd buy one of those breathalysers, you can get the cheap disposible ones. They may not be 100% accurate, but just for peace of mind.

Also that alcohol can peak in your system an hour or so after the drink, apparently. I'm not sure when the level is at its highest.

Might sound over the top but this is from the perspective of someone who very rarely drinks, and would have zero if driving, and having traffic officers in the family who I hear all about drink drivers from.

Partner can't give me a lift as he doesn't have a car, he can drive mine but there is no way he would as that would be too much effort he doesn't go out at all and doesn't see the point of going out and spending money and wasting petrol etc but that is another story 🤣

On the other hand, that's probably what your thread should really be about.

He sounds problematic on a number of levels.