Do I collect the kids, from ex house when he collect after school

[ForLoudUmberScroller]

want to hear some opinions, I’ve always collected my children from ex house after he’s had them for a few hours after school 3 times a week. We use to co parent great , but now it’s down to minimal communication. I put this down to the new gf as only started since they’ve been together. So after years of collecting them after he’s given them tea, I’ve now said I will not be collecting them, he can bring them to my home (5-10 min walk ) he said he cannot commit to that! What do I do? I have to stop my day to collect them am I being selfish?

I was going to suggest that.

WhatsApp’s of “running late, just got in - will be 15/20 minutes”.

Of that’s all it takes him to walk them home and back himself I bet he’ll start doing it rather than keeping hold of them!

I was going to suggest picking them up late too, he'll soon get fed up.

But thats a bit passive agressive really. My choice would be to simply tell him i'm not picking them up anymore and thats that. He can bring them home or keep them there.

Dad is not paying maintenance but contributing to trust funds? That sounds off to me. To you have access/sight of these trust funds or are you just taking his word for it?

Do you struggle for money OP? If so, he should be paying maintenance.

I have , and he’s said that he cannot commit to dropping them off at mine

All accounts are in my name for kids , no issues . No I wouldn’t say I’m struggling for money , i get by I’m not in debt . Kids aren’t spoilt .

Normal was us co parenting , like proper parents. Until gf came along .

I’ve never been the mum who wants money tbh , I want time . I want my kids to have time with their dad I believe that’s more important

You need to stop blaming the GF you do know he has free will and clearly a bit of a useless asshole to start with. No overnights or actual maintenance.

Four children and he pays no maintenance? Why?

Perhaps the suggestion should be that he feeds them and you pick them up at 6?
Or he drops them to you for 6pm [with homework done] so you can get dinner on and be ready to feed them?

Or does he already feed them because it doesn't sound like it