To think some people have kids to trap partners, not because they want children?

[ThatTaupeFox]

I’ve seen situations where a pregnancy seems less about loving children and more about locking someone in. AIBU to think “baby-trapping” is more common than people admit?

No idea, but from the posts on here, it seems to be more a thing controlling men do to lock in female partners than female partners do to keep men.

I expect there's some degree of it in both directions, but would imagine it's impossible to say what the prevalence is.

Hmm I'm not sure RandomThreeWords what do you think about it? 🤔

Some people have dc to baby trap

Some people have dc to have a baby

Some people have dc to try and repair a failing relationship

all kinds of reasons

I think it’s likely that some women intentionally misuse their pill or whatever to get pregnant, but you can’t baby trap a man who takes responsibility for his own contraception.

I imagine some people might do this, but I don’t think it’s common, no.

I do know of a few people who accidentally got pregnant who I know wanted a baby (both in relationships and from one night stands) which I’m a bit ‘hmm’ about - but I think that was about wanting a baby above anything else.

Ah a new member has joined us from the 1950s!

I think it’s more common for women to have a baby in a bad relationship because they want a baby despite a crap partner

Some people have a relationship in order to have a baby and not because they really love the father and want to be with them.

My friends ex husband tampered with their condoms to try and get her pregnant. He thought he was going to lose her. Absolutely despicable behaviour.

It's foolish for the woman to think having a baby will "keep" a man - that's when the ones who are even slightly unsure run a mile! We don't have an effective way of getting money from men for kids yet, even in 2025 so it's a very short sighted and naive thing for women to do.

I have seen men on the other hand profess to really want kids, family, the whole shebang and then turn violent during the pregnancy or get cold feet and run off. That's worse IMO as the intent is not really there and poorly thought through just to get their leg over, leaving the woman picking up the pieces for life.

How many single families are their around? Or blended ones? Trapped where?

I think lots of people have children to stop the other partner constantly going on about it, if you gave a couple a information sheet on what everything can be known about having children how many would agree to do it?

This is a ridiculous statement - having a child doesn’t trap anyone except perhaps yourself!!

Marriage, Kids, House Ownership, Joint Assets/Debts etc all make it potentially harder and more complicated to leave - but none of these things can force, or “trap” (as you put it) someone who doesn’t want to stay.

I doubt it. It's so easy for men to walk away. And of course contraception is the responsibility of both partners equally.

You cannot baby trap a man, they can walk away at any time with zero consequences or responsibility towards their children.

If they do, it's a pretty ineffective tactic. The man can just walk away and not look back.

I think there are plenty of women who want a baby so badly, they don't see or are prepared to overlook their partner's obvious faults.....and then he wanders off.

I dont know about baby-trapping but I do think that a scary number of women lie about being on contraception to get pregnant. I have met far too many women who say that they fell pregnant while on the pill for it to be statistically likely that they actually were. Obviously it will happen to some but I definitely think there's lots who pretend to be on the pill when they're not because they just want a child.

But there are plenty of things that reduce the effectiveness of the pill.

I think sometimes people get pregnant "on purpose" while as far as their partner is concerned the couple weren't trying for a baby.

I think it's vanishingly rare that this is done to trap a man. I mean we all know men walk away from babies all the time. It's because they want a baby.

I think some men genuinely do want to parent and nurture their children.

Others are driven by wanting to enhance their status in the eyes of other men, portraying themselves as good dependable family men because that's good for their reputation and earning potential etc.
Also if the woman is occupied with nurturing his children she is less likely to notice his infidelities or may be in denial about them because it will be hard to cope on her own with a baby.
It may be a minority of men that want children because it makes it easier for them to control and dominate their mothers but I think it's a significant minority.

Any man who claims he has been baby trapped is a bullshitter.
Contraception is not 100% reliable and so any sexual act where sperm can meet egg can result in a pregnancy.
If he doesn't want to have babies then he gets a vasectomy.
End of.

I think that's a very misogynistic viewpoint if that's what you believe. In the 21st century getting pregnant isn't guaranteed to make sure that a partner stays, and anyone with more than 2 braincells to rub together wouldn't utilise it as their plan A or even Plan B.

Would you tell a woman that if she doesn't want babies she should get herself sterilised?

Every. Bloody. Day.

Women try to get this done a lot more than you'd think - it's usually Doctors who tell them they are too young/don't know their own mind/things might change. Women aren't as in control of their bodies as men. Women have to jump through many hoops to get the op, men don't and it's almost always reversible in men.
Not an equivalent situation.

We will never know because the OP is definitely a 'To think' plop and runner. So bloody tedious.