To have nicknames for my neighbours and ask what yours are for yours?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

Apparently most people in the UK have nicknames for their neighbours that they use within their household.

Mine are -
Their names - J & M (next door)
Next door not J & M (I actually know their names but still call them this)
Barky dog people
Penguin people
Policeman's family
Old boy

What are yours, and perhaps more interestingly... what do you think your neighbours call you?

We have.....

Conehead (puts a cone in the road to hold 'his' parking space every time he goes out, despite having a garage that's never used)

Anxious Dog Man (his dog wears a hi-vis coat announcing that it's anxious)

Mr & Mrs Twat (absolute arseholes who own an airbnb cottage in the street and have pissed off all the neighbours for numerous reasons)

Garage Full of Crap Man (who....has a garage full of crap!)

Fat Pat ( 🙈 ) (Overweight, called Pat, an organiser of stuff no one was interested in)

Spot the Dot (Side kick to Fat Pat - Called Dorothy, best avoided if spotted)

Humpy (scruffy guy, hump in back)

Birdman (unemployed, garden full of eagles and owls)

Annie Fannie (I'm Scottish, Annie rhymes with fanny )

Feral Brat Pack (tiny flat, 100's of kids running riot)

Beetle Boy (Owned a hideous old style beetle car)

BA Baraccus (complicated one, neighbour with a drive, would rather park outside other folks houses and leave the drive empty. I once commented A Team style 'I ain't parking on no drive, fool' and a new name was created!

The screamer - neighbours new gf, screaming like a porn star. Eventually married so that phase has ended.

These are mostly old neighbours, I would have to NC for the current set 🤣.

Poe Face & wire brush one side (wire brush would spend three days at a time with a wire brush titting about with his mono block driveway). The tax inspector (told a customer I didn’t pay any tax 🤷‍♀️) and Jimmy Cranky next to them. Purple princess the other side - even her banisters and skirting boards were dark purple.

Over the years we've had:

Shorty Man - who wore shorts even when it was snowing

Buddha - a large man who usually walked around shirtless

Prostitute Man - my friend saw two women in burlesque attire knocking on his door.

Bin Twat - a man who was determined that all fellow residents of the building would use the correct bins and put them all in exactly the right places. Transgressors would be scolded. I later found out that another neighbour knew him and his wife as Herr and Frau Goebbels.

Nosey Dick, the nice neighbours, Pamela across the road, and Twity mcTwit.

Ndn. The cat killers.😁

Other ndn. The pot boys.

Wierdy beardy and his hippy wife.

The boy racer.

Stuart the twat.

The wife beater.

The swingers.

The other woman.

We have:
New Boy and New Girl (the latest arrivals, although several years ago now)
Sailor Boy (he used to be in the Navy) and his wife is Sailor Girl
Tim Tim Nice But Dim (pretty obvious really)
Matey and Katie (we knew her name was Katie but didn’t know his for quite a while so called him Matey Boy)

Direct neighbours all by their names. People over the back are the noisy fuckers with the hot tub, flashy lights and barky dog! No idea who they are, but I’ve plotted their demise on many a night.

Gue (pronounced Goo, they are Gary & Sue)
Steve-John (because we weren't sure of his name for a year. It's John, but we thought it was Steve)

Oh and Scary Mary up the road who set up the WhatsApp group and harrasses us all by going door to door if we don't reply about the latest street party she's organising.

Everyone else - respectful names, neighbours to the left. “The Fuckwits”

Fail safe (female car fanatic)
Cats milk (looks like the type that kidnaps and tortures cats) always has a pint of milk on the window ledge.
Neo (looks and acts like a white supremacist)
Keith (looks like our friend keith)
Fag hag (smokes 100 a day)
Starvos flatly (xfactor)
Vampire Elephants (seem to live their lives only at nighttime. Children jumping and screaming at 1am, lots of door slamming and loud chatting. Never seen during the day) I suspect a lot of this is cultural though.

Don't be embarrassed; you did a nice thing (and can blame your DD, anyway!) Besides, surely these neighbours knew that children would like their penguins?

Do we have the same neighbours?

I'll be keeping an eye our for missing cat posters 👀

-The Munsters/Wayne&Waynetta/Chuckie/Annabelle. Hideous, selfish, inconsiderate, loud, arrogant, noisy on purpose family.
-Next door to them is The Weird Uncle. I knew his niece and that's what she called him, always stares at me like he hates me but I've never even talked/associated with him.
-Bad parker. Takes 10 mins trying to squeeze her small car into a massive gap, then makes sure her small car is in the middle of two potential parking spots whenever she gets the opportunity. Doesn't even live up this end of the road so we have to park near her end when she's parked like a twat.
-Pigeon guy. He gave us advice on a pigeon we found years ago.

Pisshead.
Knobheads..
The Travellers.They have 2 daughters with vile mouths and no manners, 7 vehicles between them,that they park all over the place,but never in the garage.

Sure I have a nickname,luckily I couldn’t care less what others think of me or call me.

Dodgy Geezer (next door)
Nutnut (next door other side)
Army (often wears Camo) and
Olive (resembles Olive Oil from Popeye)
I know some of their real names but that's our nicknames for them... don't know what ours could be 🤔.. possibly dog mum, for all the dogs over the years 🐶❤️

When i was a kid, my dad called two people in the village Dirty Teeth and Long Hair. Dad's long gone amd i adored him and miss him. I always laugh when I think of Dirty Teeth and Long Hair.

I have rat hotel, she has a rampant overgrown garden (more like a wasteland) that did have a greenhouse in it somewhere which I guess the rats may live in! She won’t do anything about them, hence the name rat hotel.
The other side are known by their names and have a lovely garden!

I have the nice new couple, and the fit husband I’d like to fuck
Big mouth, talks very loudly for all to hear
Cold shoulder top, she only ever wears these.

I wonder what they think of me probably the hermit or the one that never goes out, I WFH

We call ours big glasses and chimney 🙈

Blimey. Can we come and live in your road.

Our old next door neighbours had labelled someone else who lived in the village Oo. It’s an alien complete with Jazz Hands hand movements. They were shocked to find out it was my husband’s boss! But we all laughed,

We have:

Fruit n Veg (runs a fruit and veg stall)
Armando (Fruit n Veg’s next door neighbour. Has MH issues and drives FnV mad with incessant noise at all hours. It’s nearly come to blows several times. We don’t know his name but he might be Spanish).
Stirling Moss (drives his car down the road at 90mph)
Eddie Kidd or The Kidney Donor (drives his motorbike down the road at 90mph)
Breaking Bad (suspected drug dealer)
Common Nan (bit mean, this one. Picks her grandchildren up from school and minds them every day. Could be an Eastenders character)
Mrs Postie (Royal Mail operative)
The Lustraphiliac (Portuguese lady in her 60s, always washing her front step)
Eric and Ernie (gay couple in their 60s. Always rowing)

We have Ron the Serial Killer one side, Loopy Lisa the other side and The Ice Queen down the road

One side - the amazon neighbours. A few days after I moved here they knocked on accusing me of stealing their parcels and screaming at me, then continued for hours screaming through the letterbox saying they were gonna call the police and crying begging for their parcel back that I never had. Because of that I've never taken a parcel in for them, and when they're not in and I get asked if I can take their parcel by the courier I always say no 😀

Other side - masturbating neighbour. I always hear her loudly moaning through the wall doing herself. Usually around 8pm when I'm putting the kids to bed and the walls are thin so that's just lovely isn't it

I don't speak to either of them. My old neighbours before I moved here I just referred to them by name as we were really friendly with each other and would speak every day.